Charlie Green and I just led a two-day program that we call Trusted Advisor: Walking the Talk. I was struck by the list of “one big ahas” that participants created at the end of the program. The beauty lies in the simplicity of each item on the list; the mastery lies in their application. Here’s a Top 10 list, in no particular order, with a little bit of voice-over added:

1. Sell by doing, not by telling. Give your prospects an direct experience of working with you, not a description of what it will be like.

2. Don’t sell – help. Avoid “vultural client service” by focusing first and foremost on ways to be of greatest assistance to your client. Trust that the deals will come.

3. Trust doesn’t have to take time. Telling a hard truth in a direct and respectful manner is one way to build trust in an instant.

4. Be honest, immediately. See above.

5. Fess up when you don’t know. “I don’t know” are three words that most consultants are loathe to utter; paradoxically, they are perhaps the three most powerful words you can use to establish your credibility.

6. There are steps between problems and solutions (LOL). We’re so good at problem solving that we often forget those steps…and forget to really listen to our clients in the process.

7. Understand your client’s point of view. Take time to sit in his/her chair (literally and figuratively) and share with a committed listener (e.g., a colleague or coach) what the world looks like from this vantage point.

8. Take more risks, faster. Trust-building requires risk-taking. There really is no way around that.

9. Courage and self-awareness are the secret sauce to trust. Having content knowledge or industry expertise is great; knowing yourself and having the courage to take actions that set you apart from the pack are essential ingredients for trust-building.

10. It’s OK to show your feelings. How else can we expect our clients to reveal theirs?

Which one will you choose to put into practice by COB today?

Carnival of Trust

 

Welcome to the July 2008 Carnival of Trust! The Carnival of Trust is a monthly, traveling review of ten of the last month’s best posts related to various aspects of trust in the world. My job this month was to pick those ten posts for you and provide an introduction to each post that makes you want to click through and read more. How’d I do?
Trust in Sales and Marketing
1. Sex, religion, and politics are widely taught as the three topics to avoid in any relationship. Paul McCord, who writes the Sales and Management Blog, begs to differ – at least on the political front. Paul invites an engaging discussion on the downsides of avoiding discussions of politics with sales prospects. Referring to the upcoming U.S. presidential election, Paul asserts “Many of us will spend the next few months doing a delicate dance of avoidance, trying to offend no one while insisting that we are open, honest, trustworthy individuals, intent only on meeting the prospect’s needs and becoming trusted advisors. We’ll try to build relationships based on getting to know our client while allowing them to get to know only three quarters of us.” I hadn’t thought of it that way and I couldn’t agree more.

Title: Avoiding Uncomfortable Discussions with Your Prospects and Clients Isn’t Going to Build Trust

 

2. Check out Bruce Rasmussen’s engaging personal tale called “Trust and the $5 Muffin Refund.” Bruce combines forthrightness and whimsy throughout this post, beginning with a marketer’s definition of trust (which he claims to paraphrase):

A can trust B if B has the opportunity to rip A off - and chooses not to do so.

Embedded in a story about muffins are some pretty provocative questions that Bruce asks about our own organizations’ proclivity to “do the right thing” by our customers.

Title: Trust and the $5 muffin refund

 

3. I love Mark Slatin’s wry commentary as much as his insights on selling and trust. He opens Slow Down to Sell: Get Results by Creating Value Before the Call with the following: “After a recent sales call, you had a strange feeling that you didn’t really connect with the buyer. You got all of your key selling points out, but they didn’t seem excited about anything but the collapsible Koozie with your company logo.” We’ve all been there in one way or another.

To the question, “What went wrong?” Mark suggests that value creation was missing. He provides three specific areas to research before you even meet your buyer – all fundamental and yet often overlooked. Mark also reminds us that relationships aren’t linear: “While a defined selling process designed to create buyer value from start to finish is an important part of the selling success, particularly in more complex sales, the overarching goal is to build a trusting relationship. The value creation process helps provide a roadmap.” Makes me wonder if the road to hell is paved with collapsible Koozies.

Title: Slow Down to Sell: Get Results by Creating Value Before the Call

 

Trust in Advising and Influencing
4. Can you trust your lawyer? Jordan Furlong of Law21 says absolutely, even daring to propose that “lawyers are amazingly trustworthy as individuals, possessing (in my perhaps biased view) more courage and moral fiber than can be found in many other walks of life.” Whether or not you agree with assertion (and I’ll confess to extracting it because I thought it would get your attention), Jordan’s post is worth a read. He suggests that the poor reputation for trust in the legal profession stems from a reluctance to trust others. “So we don’t trust our colleagues to live up to their partnership commitments or act in the firm’s best interests; we don’t trust our juniors with important cases or meaningful client contact; we don’t trust opposing counsel to act in good faith; we don’t trust clients to behave reasonably or honourably when reviewing our work or our fees.” Jordan ends with a heart-felt and passionate plea that’s hard to disagree with: “So we need to make trust fashionable again. We need to again make trust — the courage to give it and the honour of receiving it — the highest goal and the best accolade for lawyers, so that those unwilling to (or unworthy of) trust are seen as the exceptions, not the rule.”

Title: Restoring the Culture of Trust

 

5. Charles H. Green’s Trust Equation emphasizes Reliability (predictability, consistency) as a key element of trust-building. Elizabeth Cook would agree. In her blog, The Really Big Check, she points to punctuality as a way to demonstrate consistency. Elizabeth describes punctuality as good business: “It shows you respect others’ time, as well as your own.” She offers some practical advice for what does and doesn’t constitute a good excuse for being late. This post is a good reminder that sometimes the best Trusted Advisor practices are really simple and straightforward.

Title: Trusted Advisor Tip

 

6. I can’t resist another reference to the Trust Equation as a way of introducing Cordell Parvin’s Choose Words Carefully. Looking at the components of the Trust Equation (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / Self-Orientation), trust is built largely through words. What about actions, you say? Absolutely! That’s how Reliability is created – when actions match up with promises (words). What about motives, you ask? Yes, that too! That’s how low Self-Orientation comes through – when good intentions and mutually-beneficial goals are communicated (words). So Cordell’s post is apropos to trust-building, as it lists several key phrases to avoid with clients…starting with “No problem” and ending with “You should.”

Title: Choose Words Carefully

 

Trust in Leadership and Management

Transparency7. Michael McKinney, author of Leading Blog, shares excerpts from the work of well-known leadership experts Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman, and James O’Toole on the subject of transparency. Michael draws out five leadership lessons and brings attention to a particularly interesting point with this one: “All of us would do well to reflect on how receptive we are to the suggestions and opinions of others and alternate points of view. Leaders need to question their willingness to hear certain voices and not others. They need to make a habit of second-guessing their enthusiasms as well as their antipathies, since both can cloud their judgment.” What have you held great enthusiasm for lately that might be worth a second look?

Title: 5 Leadership Lessons: Transparency

 

8. Steve Roesler’s “How’m I Doin’?”: More Feedback, Relationships and Success got my attention with his opening paragraph: “Let’s get something out in the open: I don’t like the word feedback. It’s a buzzword. Once a word falls into that category it loses its power and effectiveness. It becomes a cliche. Like buzzword.” Candor with a touch of clever is always refreshing.

But my interest didn’t end there. Steve goes on to share some context for what he calls “the feedback thing.” (Did you know the practice started with the Space program back in the 1940’s? I didn’t either.) Then he offers five practical tips for finding out how you’re doin’. My favorite is number four: “Your best relationships are with people who say ‘no’ to you. This isn’t about someone refusing to give you feedback. It’s about the paradoxical dynamic that surrounds difficult news. It takes a high level of trust to say ‘no’ to someone. As a result, we learn to develop trust with people who say ‘no’ as often as they say ‘yes’.” Hear hear.

Title: “How’m I Doin’?”: More Feedback, Relationships, and Success

 

9. The More Meetings, The Less Trust, by Carmine Coyote begs to be accompanied by a Dilbert cartoon. Carmine Coyote’s rant—errr, post—begins with this: “In the list of activities that waste time and cause worthless frustration at work, meetings rank very near the top.” Carmine continues, “There are briefing meetings, liaison meetings, working parties, project groups and a host of other meeting types; and while all offer endless opportunities to drone on about something of little importance to anyone else, the worst aspect of so many useless gatherings is their tendency to create situations where your work can be vetoed or undermined.” The reason for such a continual waste of time and energy? Carmine says it’s simple: pervasive distrust. Click through to discover the simple antidote.

Title: The More Meetings, The Less Trust

 

Trust in Strategy, Economics and Politics
10. Many people (particularly in the U.S.) were recently stunned by Tim Russert’s unexpected death. Drew McLellan of Drew’s Marketing Minute provides some interesting insight into why he and so many others who never personally knew Tim Russert were left with such feelings of loss at his passing. Drew says, “Tim Russert earned the country’s trust. Which is the sign of a brilliant journalist but it is also the foundation of a brilliant brand. How’d he do it?” Drew answers with five trust-building characteristics. I found number four of particular note. Referring to Tim, Drew says, “He wore his emotions on his sleeve. While his reporting stayed objective, his enthusiasm for the whole thing was apparent. He loved what he was doing, he loved talking politics. He loved the battle and the debate. That was a big part of how we knew he was authentic. He didn’t try to keep us at arm’s length. He invited us in to share in what he loved.” Drew reminds us that the recipe for building trust includes a tablespoon of risk-taking, a pinch of authenticity, and a dash of the unexpected.

Title: Tim Russert — A Lesson in Branding

_____________________________________

The dog days of summer are upon us, and holidays beckon, so the Carnival of Trust will take an August hiatus and return in September. Enjoy your summer and we’ll see you in a month and half!

BossaBlog, the home blog of BossaNova Consulting Group, the firm that teaches consulting to consultants, will be the July 2008 host of the Carnival of Trust!

Please submit postings that deal with personal trust, business trust and political trust , as well as pieces on the nature of trust.

There is a hard limit of 10 postings per Carnival. We will personally make the decisions about inclusion, in an inevitably subjective manner intended to push thinking ahead in those broad areas of trust.

So if you’ve written a blog post on trust in the last year and haven’t submitted it, please dust and send it in to us. The submission deadline is tomorrow at midnight.

Also, be sure to have a look at some past juicy carnival selections.

HandshakeCharlie Green of Trusted Advisor fame has a new online self-assessment to gauge your level of trustworthiness. We think it’s a great little tool, with 20 simple questions and an elegant and short report at the end, based on your entries. Take it today at www.trustedadvisor.com/trustquotient.

We got a nice acknowledgment this week in Charlie Green’s Trust Matters blog. His post is about the single best way to become trusted. Check it out!

If you haven’t seen the “Cat and the Crow” video that’s been circulating the Internet for a while, it’s worth a peek. Check out what’s possible when two enemies don’t know they’re supposed to be enemies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZjZQ6KkiUk

Imagine if we humans applied the generosity and wisdom demonstrated by these two simple creatures. Especially in the business world.

There’s a simple yet profound lesson articulated at the end: “If you’re able to gain trust in someone … than anything is possible.”

Ain’t that the truth.

Ever wonder why you get along so well with one client but just can’t seem to make headway with another? It could be that you have different Social Styles. This week’s blog offers tips for how to relate - and get results - with clients who have different Social Styles from your own.

In our last post, we acknowledged that, while it’s important not to stereotype or “box” others in, models that define typical style preferences can be helpful. We think the Social Style Model (www.tracomcorp.com) is easy to understand and immediately apply.

The combination of Assertiveness (the degree to which you ask or tell during interactions) and Responsiveness (the degree to which you tend to control or emote) reveal your Social Style as Analytical, Driving, Amiable, or Expressive. Click here for a description of each social style.

Taking that one step further, here are tendencies and tips for each Social Style category during times of stress:

trust diagram

For a detailed list of recommended approaches for each quadrant, check out Tracom Corp’s web site (www.tracomcorp.com). The key is to figure out your primary style first, and then your clients’. You can close the gaps from there.

Ever wonder why you get along so well with one client but just can’t seem to make headway with another? It could be that you have different Social Styles. This week’s blog offers a simple and useful framework for understanding and remedying disconnects between you and your clients (or between you and anyone, for that matter).

Human beings have natural behavioral patterns. While it’s important not to stereotype or “box” others in, models that define typical style preferences can be help us understand how to relate to our clients - especially when they are different from us. We like the Social Style Model (www.tracomcorp.com) because it’s easy to understand and immediately apply.

The Social Style Model uses two dimensions of human behavior:

trust diagram

1. Assertiveness is the degree to which you ask or tell during interactions
2. Responsiveness is the degree to which you tend to control or emote.

In combination, these two dimensions reveal your Social Style:

The challenge arises when you and your client have different Social Styles but don’t realize it. For example, an Amiable consultant (like me) may misinterpret a Driving client’s focus on actions and results as a lack of caring for his staff, and may frustrate her by spending too much time on relationships. Similarly, a Driving consultant may mistake an Amiable client for someone who is not bottom-line oriented.

So how do you minimize the gap in styles and maximize your ability to get the job done? Check out our next blog post to find out.

We were recently asked to create a Consulting 101 for a group of IT executives at a very big company. In today’s blog, we share the eleven “Rules to Consult By”, a distilled list that represents what the best of the best in consulting practice on a regular basis. Here we’ve turned it into a short self-assessment. See how you do! Be honest.

trust diagram

If you’re an “Often” on 8 out of 11, congratulations! If you’re a “Sometimes” on five or more, create specific reminders or actions to take in the next week to get back in the best practices groove. If you’re a “Never” or “Rarely” on one or more items, let us know and we”ll offer up some tips to help: info@bossanovaconsulting.com.

Client meetings are a great opportunity to build trust with many clients at once. Today’s blog is the fourth (and last) in a series that focuses on how to build trust with your clients when you morph from Consultant to Facilitator (Click here to read the first article in the series, Building Group Trust: The Credible Facilitator.)

We’ve used the components of the Trust Equation as our framework. So far, we’ve covered Credibility, Reliability, and Connectedness; now we turn to Service Orientation.

trust diagram

Service Orientation exists in the domain of motives. Service-oriented facilitators make it clear that they are relentlessly focused on their client’s wants and needs at all times. Service-oriented facilitators are also committed to making sure that any and all interactions are all about the group–not about the facilitator. (Note that this component is reflected as Self-Orientation in the denominator of the Trust Equation - the idea here is to minimize a focus on self as much as possible.)

Service Orientation is so important that we’ve identified 20 tips for establishing yourself as a Service-oriented Facilitator:

1. Find out how your client defines success and how you can help them achieve it

2. Deliver “early and ugly” in the design phase - collaborate and iterate

3. Let go of trying to appear clever, bright, witty; it’s not a show and it’s not all about you

4. Put the PowerPoint deck aside - use stories, easel charts, and creative handouts instead

5. Don’t name-drop

6. Be self-deprecating

7. Give voice to your fears

8. Take risks

9. Don’t jump to a solution; give the group ample time to define and grapple with a problem

10. Know your own traps/triggers and make it your job (not your clients’) to manage them

11. Don’t interrupt

12. Answer direct questions with direct answers

13. Practice active/reflective listening — constantly

14. Be really honest even (especially) when it makes you look bad

15. Give others credit for successes

16. Take responsibility for failed communications

17. Confront issues as they arise (e.g., when ground rules are broken) -being preoccupied with them keeps your attention on your own preoccupation

18. Be willing to turn leadership of the group over to the group at an appropriate time

19. Let someone in the group have the last word, even (especially) when you”re dying to add your piece

20. Take time to solicit “plus/delta” feedback; hear it all with grace and good humor

Clients who experience you as Service-oriented can be heard saying, “I trust that she cares about xyz.” As a result, they’ll trust your leadership of the group.

Credibility, Reliability, Connectedness, and Service-orientation: four secret ingredients to turning any client meeting of any size into an opportunity for a double-whammy: exceeding expected results while simultaneously building trust.

Email us to receive our one-page handout called “50+ Tips for Building your Trustworthiness as a Facilitator.”