According to Wikipedia.com, comedians use self-deprecating humor “to avoid seeming arrogant or pompous and to help the audience identify with them.” Sounds like a good strategy for anyone looking to build trust and rapport with another human being. Sounds like an especially good strategy for anyone in the consulting profession. Ask any client who has worked with consultants over the years – they’ll have at least a few horror stories to tell about the Big Important Expert they hired. That creates messes we are all left to clean up.

Self-deprecation is an art that should be routinely practiced by anyone who claims the title “consultant.”

Here’s some material for your toolkit (original author unknown):

Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear from a Consultant

1. You’re right; we’re billing way too much for this.

2. Bet you I can go a week without saying “synergy” or “value-added”.

3. How about paying us based on the success of the project?

4. This whole strategy is based on a Harvard business case I read.

5. Actually, the only difference is that we charge more than they do.

6. I don’t know enough to speak intelligently about that.

7. Implementation? I only care about writing long reports.

8. I can’t take the credit. It was Ed in your marketing department.

9. The problem is, you have too much work for too few people.

10. Everything looks okay to me.

Share this with your clients. They’ll enjoy laughing at your expense. And they’ll appreciate your ability to laugh at yourself!

Caveats are forewarnings that compensate for what we are about to say. An example might be, “I wish I had better news …” Acknowledging the sometimes harsh truths that follow, we rob them of their power.

Another style of caveat is to speak with humor: “You’re gonna love me for this …” By using humor, we lighten a tense situation.

After the caveat, the next part is simple: Tell it like it is. Say, for instance, “This job is going to take longer and cost more.” Do it in ten words or less.

“Name It and Claim It” functions as a meta-tool: by speaking the thing we fear most, we disarm its power. It is a form of emotional risk management. By incurring a small amount of discomfort, we reliably defuse much larger amounts of discomfort later.

By telling the truth, we solve problems and simultaneously build trust. The result: our client opens up to us. He takes our advice, seeks us out, and listens carefully to what we say. Isn’t that what we’re really being paid for?

*”Name It and Claim It” can be found in The Trusted Advisor by David Maister, Charles Green, and Rob Galford. We think it’s a must-read for anyone in professional services.

If you think this article doesn’t apply to you, think again. Business advisors who don’t ever create a false or misleading impression – in other words, lie — are like unicorns: not inconceivable, but pretty unlikely.

Here’s how we get trapped in our own misguided logic.

On the Truth side:

- We underestimate the value of truth-telling. When we are forthright and willing to face facts, clients often perceive us as virtuous.

- We overestimate the cost of disapproval for telling the truth. Clients who face an uncomfortable reality usually see it as something to be dealt with and to move beyond.

On the Lie side:

- We underestimate the cost of disapproval if the truth is revealed. We rationalize that we aren’t really lying (we are being optimistic, maintaining a “can do” attitude). Except we are lying by avoiding or omitting the truth, and getting caught affects our reputation for the long term.

- We overestimate the probability of getting away with lying. We convince ourselves that somehow we’ll be saved from ever having to face the truth. How many times did you think you were fooling your parents as a child only to find out they knew what you were up to all along?

In short, lying seems to make sense in a psychological way and therefore masquerades as the rational choice. But even when analyzed from a purely self-serving perspective, truth-telling is under-rated.

Next up: how to come clean in a way that builds trust instead of breaking it.

In the article that Charles H. Green and I co-authored in early 2007, we asserted that business advisors (or for that matter, people) who don’t lie are like unicorns: not inconceivable, but pretty unlikely. I am no exception. I bet the same is true for you.

Charlie and I used the term “lying” to be deliberately provocative. We borrowed a Merriam-Webster definition (”to create a false or misleading impression”) and, within that definition, defined five common ways that business advisors lie to clients. Here they are, listed from the most rare to most common:

- Saying an untruth

- Speaking truth by technicality

- Telling “harmless” fibs

- Lying by omission

- A peculiar form of lying known as exceeding expectations

I have a tendency to lie by omission – not wanting to raise difficult issues in the hope that they will just magically disappear.

And you? An honest self-assessment is part of any extraordinary consultant’s regular practice. As the old saying goes, the truth shall set you free.

I got lots and lots of practice on that improv comedy stage! And my eyes also opened wide to so many parallels between what it takes to be an extraordinary improv comedian and what it takes to be an extraordinary consultant.

Improv comedy is comedy that’s made up completely on the spot, based on audience suggestions. Like the hi-jinx on the TV show, Whose Line is it, Anyway. Extraordinary improv comedians are masterful at:

- Teamwork and collaboration. An improv comedy stage is a completely level playing field. There are no hierarchies, no titles. It’s all about working together towards a common goal.

- Decision-making. Being completely in the moment makes it possible to act on information provided on the spot.

- Innovation. Turning off the inner editor allows creative thoughts to flow without inhibition. There is no such thing as “analysis paralysis” among successful improv comedians.

- Adaptability. Being flexible; bringing humor and ease to a constantly changing environment; dealing with the unexpected.

- Listening and focus. Improv comedy takes active listening to a whole new level. Accepting and adding to an “offer” is essential.

- Being of service. Improv comedy requires that you check your ego at the door and truly be of service to others; it’s all about making them look good.

- Trust. Improv comedians create a profound connection with each other – the foundation that makes an extraordinary performance possible. They know and believe their fellow improv-ers “have their back” and therefore take action from a place of confidence and faith.

See any links to the world of professional services? I’d say there are a few.

Has anyone out there used improv comedy to sharpen your consulting skills?

P.S. if you’re looking for a 4.5-minute break in your workday, watch our clients perform improv comedy with us: http://www.bossanovaconsulting.com/services/improv.php#Video