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December 2011 Improv Tip of the Month

December 21, 2011 in Improv, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

Everyone wants a standing ovation. Try this with your team–it’s a great way to (re)define who you are as we move into the new year.

Name, Logo, Tag Line, Ad Campaign!

Divide the group into subgroups of three to four people each. Task them with creating a branding campaign for the entire group, including name, logo, tag line, and some sort of ad campaign (like a television commercial). Give them a compressed time period (10 – 20 minutes total) to complete the task. In the debriefing, invite the entire group to mix and match ideas until you reach a “best of breed” solution.

The learning: The group that came up with the knock-em-dead tag line may not have been the most successful with the other tasks. This highlights the importance of checking your ego at the door and collaborating across the entire organization to produce the best overall result.

Try it and post your results in a comment below.

Legal + Innovation = Matt Homann

December 5, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Legal + Innovation = Matt Homann” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

Charlie Green and I were recently interviewed by Matt Homann of LexThink and the [non]billable hour blog on the subject of trust and the legal profession. Among other things, Matt wanted to know how lawyers can deal with difficult clients (is firing inevitable) and how to embrace non-traditional pricing models.

Rebel with a Cause

Matt joins Mike McLaughlin on the list of people Charlie suggested I follow on Twitter—and I’m once again grateful. Matt is a self-described Legal Thinker, Innovational Keynote Speaker, Creative Facilitator, and Dad. He’s also the founder of LexThink LLC, a legal innovation consultancy (cool phrase!) that delivers conferences, retreats and workshops for lawyers and other professionals who want to get creative about growing their businesses and serving their clients better. In 2009, Matt was named a “Legal Rebel” by the American Bar Association Journal.

Matt’s [non]billable hour blog posts are refreshing, creative, and provocative. I was hooked when I read his blog about using Haiku as a way to quickly develop an elevator speech that responds to the question, “What do you do?”

Other thought-provoking posts include:

Q & A

Matt asked us some challenging questions, including:

  • In this down economy, where clients seem more focused on price, does trust matter more or less than before?
  • How can lawyers leverage trust to embrace more collaborative pricing models, where risks and rewards are shared between client and lawyer?
  • If I’m a lawyer with a difficult client, what should I do? Isn’t it just easier to fire them?
  • When should law firms start teaching Trust?
  • What specific advice do you have for solo and small firm practitioners with a general practice who feels compelled to take nearly every client who walks in the door?
  • What questions were you expecting and haven’t yet been asked about your new book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook? How would you answer them? (Charlie answered, “Why don’t people trust lawyers? And is it a bum rap?” I answered, “What one chapter would we advise people to read, if they could only read one chapter of the book?”)

Check out Matt’s blog post today to find out how we answered.

Connect with Matt on LinkedIn and Twitter.

Real People, Real Trust: An Entrepreneur Wins with Partnership

December 2, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Real People, Real Trust: An Entrepreneur Wins with Partnership” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

John Dunn has worn many hats in his 25 years as a professional including consultant, change management expert, bed and breakfast owner, and most recently, screenwriter. Find out how John used the principles of trust-building to create a wildly successful business venture—strategies anyone can use to win business while making a difference for a community.

It Starts with a Mindset

John and I met a few months ago while working for a mutual client. Over lunch one day, I learned about his business ventures including the bed and breakfast he launched and ran from 2001 to 2006. I was immediately struck by his out-of-the-box approaches to developing a successful business—starting with a mindset of collaboration not competition.

“There were five B&Bs in the town we were serving, including mine. I suppose I could have looked at the other four as competition, but I believed there were an abundant number of customers and no way to accommodate all of them 365 days a year without leaving business on the table. I knew that the only thing preventing us from tapping into the full potential of the market was letting the public know about all of us. And I knew the best thing to do would be to have all five inns working together, viewing ourselves as a unit and viewing the hotels in town as our collective competition.

“My life philosophy is there’s plenty of everything—customers, money, everything. You just have to direct it to you.

“I’ve also been in business long enough that I know some people prefer data over a philosophy. So, I researched the number of people who came to our town and determined what we were missing in the market. The numbers showed clearly that if we created a strategic alliance and pooled our resources, we’d then have a competitive advantage over large hotels with big marketing budgets.”

An Offer to Help

John took a systematic approach to convincing each B&B to adopt his mindset and approach—first, he built trust individually, then he approached the group as a collective.

“Of the other four B&Bs, two were already established and the other two were in the process of opening. I took time to introduce myself to all the other owners and talked to each of them about what I believed was unique about my inn. I shared information readily and freely. Then I offered my help with anything they needed. For example, I had relationships with the city that could help the new businesses figure out how to comply with city codes. Once all the B&Bs were open and running, I went back and proposed my idea of working together to be stronger in the marketplace.”

Team Agreements

I asked John if he got push-back. “There was some resistance at first, and we had to have the conversation about how we could really collaborate rather than compete. One critical success factor was agreeing to be transparent. When we were upfront with each other we found we were able to make it work. We also decided we all had to be in full agreement to do something, and that we were all responsible for ideas on how to execute. For example, we decided that everyone would decorate for the holidays. Then someone came up with the idea of having a local florist put a uniquely decorated tree in every inn. One tree was raffled off and the others were available for sale. A lot of people benefited from the creative ideas that came out of our partnership—not just us.”

Systems Thinking

John says another key was in thinking of all the B&Bs as a whole.

“I’m a big believer in win/win. Sure, I would’ve loved it if my B&B filled first. But my over-riding belief was if we had 35 rooms and 50 people looking for rooms, even if mine were the last ones filled they’d still be filled.

“I kept reminding myself that the way you get more done is through leverage. For example, we could leverage money by collectively pooling our marketing budgets. So when the Chamber of Commerce held an event and wanted tables for all the inns, we had a joint table marketing all of us. That meant we could take turns at the event so we could all be at our inns keeping our customers happy. We instantly had 12 to 16 staff members to do marketing instead of two or three.”

Putting the Customer First—For Real

John and the other B&B owners consistently put customer needs ahead of any one B&Bs’ needs.

“We agreed that the primary way to differentiate from the bigger hotels in town was through our personal connections with customers and through exceptional customer service. So if a customer called my B&B and I didn’t have what they needed, I’d put him on hold and call each B&B until I found what he was looking for. Others did the same. We all viewed the entire inventory as our own, we knew it well, and we were committed to doing whatever it took to help our customers out.”

John’s mindset of “customer” extended to the community as well.

“I knew another way we could all differentiate was by promoting our historical buildings. So twice a year, in the spring and near the December holidays, we rented a trolley and opened up all the B&Bs to the public so they could take historical tours. I established a relationship with the historical neighborhood association for a nearby neighborhood so that our tours were timed to align with theirs, giving people more opportunities to see historical properties. And I partnered with the local historical museum by including admission into the museum as part of the tour ticket. All the pieces worked together and everyone gained something.”

“Real World” Application

The results John got speak for themselves: a 25% increase in occupancy rate over a year (which is a big number in the hotel business) and double the number of advertising impressions without any additional investment.

I asked John if he thought his approaches could create a similar return in the corporate world. His answer was a resounding, “Yes.”

“When you think about it, what we did was actually quite simple: we looked at ourselves as a unique product and created strategic partnerships that would create leverage so we could all grow and be better. Companies have been doing this for years. Take ERP implementations. I worked for a global consulting firm that had the capacity to build their own product, but instead joined forces with SAP. That partnership created a much more compelling value proposition for the customer. The key is to maximize opportunity with as few resources as possible.”

John emphasizes that the strategy isn’t viable without the mindset that goes along with it.

“I do a lot of consulting with nonprofits and the hardest thing to get through their heads is the notion of leveraging their values and products with others’ values and products. They have trouble with it because their organizations are built on a mentality of scarcity—they’re always fighting for budget, asking for money, and have a perception there’s never enough. So they naturally think, ‘I can’t partner with another because they might steal my donor list.’

“If nonprofits believed there was an abundance of money out there for everyone, then every single one of them would be successful. It really comes down to mindset, mental models and belief systems. That’s what I spend time on when I’m consulting with them.”

Dream Big, Win Big

There’s a unifying theme in all John’s endeavors: how to manifest the impossible with the possible. He’s jazzed about his new career as a screenwriter?three of his scripts have been optioned by known producers. John says, “Making movies is a way to interact with bigger and bigger audiences and change lives on a much grander scale.”

Here’s to big dreams with big results.

Connect with John on LinkedIn .

——–

The Real People, Real Trust series offers an insider view into the challenges, successes, and make-it-or-break-it moments of people from all corners of the world who are leading with trust. Check out our prior posts: read about:

Chip Grizzard: A CEO You Should Know;

Ralph Catillo: How One Account Executive Stands Apart;

Anna Dutton: A Fresh Perspective on Sales Operations;

Heber Sambucetti: A Learning Consultant’s Approach to Leadership;

and Janet Andrews: What Trust-based Strategy Consulting Looks, Feels, and Sounds Like.

Meet Anthony Iannarino: Pragmatic, Insightful, Focused. (He also loves our book.)

November 25, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Meet Anthony Iannarino: Pragmatic, Insightful, Focused. (He also loves our book.)” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

Anthony Iannarino, creator of The Sales Blog, recently reviewed our new book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust. Anthony is a thoughtful subject matter expert on what he calls “the new art of sales and sales management.” We’re pleased to introduce Anthony to you, if you haven’t met him already.

Adventures in Selling

Once again proving that my resistance to Twitter is often misguided, Charlie and Anthony first “met” in the Twittersphere, and when I joined the party Charlie suggested I follow Anthony. It’s not the first time Charlie gave me good advice.

Anthony’s blog posts are pragmatic, insightful, and focused. He writes daily on adventures in sales and selling, sales management, the sales process, and what it takes to succeed. But what really resonates for me about Anthony’s posts is the drum he beats about the underlying belief system that leads to success in sales. Some of my favorites include:

When Anthony’s not blogging, he’s juggling myriad roles: President and Chief Sales officer for SOLUTIONS Staffing, a best-in-class regional staffing service based in Columbus, Ohio; Managing Director of B2B Sales Coach & Consultancy, a boutique sales coaching and consulting company where he works to help salespeople and sales organizations improve and reach their full potential; and father of a thirteen-year-old boy and twin eleven-year-old girls. He has plenty to keep him occupied and we appreciate the time he took to read our book.

His review of the book, by the way, is Classic Anthony: pointed and thorough. Read it for yourself and find out what chapters he recommends zeroing in on. And don’t forget to turn to page 205 when you get your copy to read Anthony’s story about when to walk away.

Follow Anthony on Twitter, connect to him on LinkedIn, or friend him on Facebook.

Story Time: Risky Business

November 23, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Story Time: Risky Business” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

Our Story Time series brings you real, personal examples from business life that shed light on specific ways to lead with trust. Our last story told of the upside of being willing to walk away. Principle pays off in today’s story.

A New Anthology

When it comes to trust-building, stories are a powerful tool for both learning and change. Our new book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust (Wiley, October 2011), contains a multitude of stories. Told by and about people we know, these stories illustrate the fundamental attitudes, truths, and principles of trustworthiness.

Today’s story is excerpted from our chapter on risk-taking. It vividly demonstrates the potential upside of sticking to your guns.

From the Front Lines: Telling a Difficult Truth

Lynn P., a career systems consultant serving largely government clients in the United States, tells a story about taking a risk under pressure.

“Eleven years into my career, I took over a major project. A key phase, testing, was way behind schedule, and the Testing Readiness Review was only two weeks away. Passing the review was a very big deal: it meant completing a milestone and getting a payment for my company.

“I was due to present to all the clients and the senior managers of my own company. It was intimidating—and I was intimidated.

“I was under significant pressure to keep the program moving by passing the review. I also knew that we were not ready to pass.

“Knowing it could cost me my job, I went line by line through our assessment, citing the facts as I saw them. I said we did not pass the review and that we would need to delay to correct the critical items.

“There was complete silence in the room.

“My top executive asked, ‘Are you sure?’

“I said yes.

“After the meeting, both my client and my senior managers approached me informally to commend me for ‘sticking to my guns’ and recommending what I believed to be right.

“Apparently, I had created trust—a lot of it. Over the next 18 months, I was given roles of increasing responsibility, and was eventually promoted to program manager.

“I now believe it was this event that drove the client to increase my role. The experience gave me greater confidence in my own judgment and skills. And finally, it was this program’s success that ultimately propelled my career to the next level.”

The willingness to take a risk by being principled can pay off hugely—as long as you’re doing it for the principles, not the payoff.

—As told to Charles H. Green

When have you stuck to your guns? What payoff did you get?

++++++

“Consult This” Consults Us

November 22, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

““Consult This” Consults Us” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

Charlie Green and I recently recorded a podcast interview with Mike McLaughlin on the subject of trust and professional services. We covered a lot of ground in 16 minutes, including the one piece of advice we’d each give consultants about building trust with clients.

Consult This

Mike is an accomplished thought leader in the world of professional services. A former partner with Deloitte Consulting, he’s the author of two books (Winning the Professional Services Sale and Guerrilla Marketing for Consultants, in collaboration with Jay Conrad Levinson), the founder of MindShare Consulting LLC, and the publisher of Management Consulting News, a monthly newsletter that delivers practical ideas to thousands of professionals around the world. He also writes another monthly newsletter, The Guerrilla Consultant, which extends the concepts and strategies in his first book.

Mike regularly taps into experts on a variety of relevant topics, and posts his own insightful content on his blog, Consult This. Some examples include:

  • Let Them Take Credit. How, by giving up the credit, you actually earn credit (and more business).
  • What’s in a Name? How the job titles we use on business cards, email signature lines, and web sites convey a world of meaning to others, some of which isn’t helpful.
  • When it All Hits the Fan. Why we should consider ourselves lucky when a client calls us on the carpet for a customer service failure.

We were honored to be among the likes of Peter Block and Peter Bregman, whom Mike has interviewed in the past, among others.

Q & A

Mike asked us some interesting questions. He wanted to know:

  • Do buyers trust professional service providers more, less, or about the same as they did when The Trusted Advisor was published?
  • If you’re meeting a client for the first time, what are the best steps to take to begin to build trust?
  • On the flip side of the coin, what common behaviors do you see that detract from building trust?
  • What do you say to the pushy sales manager who wants you to “accelerate” the sale before trust is established?
  • If you’ve lost trust with a client, what can you do to regain it?
  • If you could give a consultant just one piece of advice about building trust with clients, what would it be? (Charlie and I had different answers for this one.)

Check out his blog post to find out how we answered.

Connect with Mike on LinkedIn and Twitter.

Three Star Leadership

November 21, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Three Star Leadership” can also be found on the Trust Matters Blog.

Charlie Green and I were recently interviewed by Wally Bock of Three Star Leadership Enterprises on the subject of trust and leadership. He wanted to know what bosses in general can take away from our new book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust.

From the Front Lines

Wally and I met via Twitter—he was a distinctive and caring voice in the crowd when I first joined the fray. Wally is a coach, consultant, and popular speaker to audiences in North America and elsewhere. He focuses on front-line leadership, and brings to his work all that he indelibly learned as a Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps—first and foremost that a leader’s job has two parts: accomplish the mission and care for your people.

Wally’s latest book, Ruthless Focus, features companies that have been successful for years by training their sights on a single, simple, core strategy. Wally also created the Working Supervisor’s Support Kit, among other resources. He’s committed to providing day-to-day practical advice on how to be a great boss.

Wally blogs thoughtfully and regularly on the subject of leadership at all levels in his Three Star Leadership blog. His aim: to give you insight, information, and pointers to resources to do a better job and live a better life. Example blog posts include:

Q & A

Wally asked us provocative and wide-ranging questions. He wanted to know:

  • How is The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook different from the original The Trusted Advisor?
  • What, exactly, makes this a “fieldbook”?
  • What can a boss take away from here, regardless of the level where they find themselves on the org chart?
  • In addition to the things any boss will get, is there something for each of the following:
    • A first line boss such as a police sergeant, call center boss, utility company crew chief or sales manager?
    • A middle manager, probably with a technical specialty such as accounting, marketing, or logistics?
    • A general manager in any size organization?
    • What is the single most important take-away from the Fieldbook?

Check out Wally’s blog post to find out how we answered.

Connect with Wally on LinkedIn and Twitter.

How to Create a Culture of Trust

November 4, 2011 in BossaNova Recommends, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“How to Create a Culture of Trust” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates.

We’re pleased to announce the release of our latest eBook: How to Create a Culture of Trust.

It’s the sixth in the new Trusted Advisor Fieldbook series by Charles H. Green and Andrea P. Howe.

Each eBook provides a snapshot of content from The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, which is jam-packed with practical, hands-on strategies to dramatically improve your results in sales, relationship management, and organizational performance.

How to Create a Culture of Trust reveals:

  • Two key levers: virtues and values
  • The difference that leading from principles makes
  • The biggest trust-destroyer in an organization

P.S. Did you miss out on Volumes 1 through 5 of The Fieldbook eBook series? Get them while they’re still available:

  1. 15 Ways to Build Trust…Fast!
  2. How to Sell to the C-Suite
  3. Six Risks You Should Take to Build Trust
  4. How YOU Can Raise Trust in Your Organization
  5. The Dos and Don’ts of Trust-Based Networking

Take a look and let us know what you think.

Hot off the Presses: The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook

November 3, 2011 in BossaNova Recommends, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Hot off the Presses: The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates.

We are very happy to officially announce the publication of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust. Published by Wiley Books, it is now being sold at fine bookstores worldwide and online at major booksellers.

Whose shoulders does it stand on? The book’s pedigree begins with the classic The Trusted Advisor, by Charlie with esteemed co-authors David Maister and Rob Galford in 2000. In 2005, Charlie wrote Trust-based Selling, which squared the circle of trust and sales.

What’s up with the leadership emphasis? Since 2000, the world has gotten flat, connected and linked—trust drives success. The relevance of trust to leadership has increased 470% (our subjective estimate). We connect the dots.

What’s new? Material on creating a trust-based culture; networking; risk-taking; selling to the C-suite; rapid trust creation; leadership. And more.

Why a “fieldbook”? It’s practical, tactical. Loaded with how-to’s. Deals with the nitty-gritty of situations from business development to dealing with untrustworthy partners. It has so many lists it has a list of lists.

Who likes it? Tom Peters, David Maister, Chris Brogan, Neil Rackham, Jim Quigley, and more…

Find Out More

We want to make it easy for you. You can:

Tell Us What You Think

Real People, Real Trust: What Trust-based Strategy Consulting Looks, Feels, and Sounds Like

October 24, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Real People, Real Trust: What Trust-based Strategy Consulting Looks, Feels, and Sounds Like” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog and is co-authored by Jennifer Vanmeter.

Janet Andrews is a senior-level consultant at SRA’s Touchstone Consulting Group, a strategy and management-consulting firm. Janet spends her days running from one U.S. federal government building to the next, working with executives on issues of national interest. Discover Janet’s six tips for building trust-based relationships while getting the job done.

A Matter of Focus

“Janet’s reputation can be described as polished, thoughtful, and methodical,” says Jen Vanmeter, a colleague of Janet’s who teaches Trusted Advisor programs in-house and who co-wrote this blog. “She’s known for her smarts, her work ethic, and her integrity—she does exactly what she says she’ll do, when she says she’ll do it.” Jen continues, “She’s incredibly busy, and yet she takes time to pay attention. Even in a quick hallway chat, she’s focused on you, not the meeting she’s dashing off to.”

Jen and Janet spoke at length about how to build trust-based relationships in the midst of demanding and high-stakes projects. Here are Janet’s six maxims for client relationships that really work.

1. Know Yourself; Know Others Even Better

When Janet thinks about building trust in business relationships, she makes it a point to step back and think what is most important for the person she’s talking to.

“If you have a client who leads with social connection, then that’s where you need to put your foot out first. If someone is results-oriented, they might not want to chat—they want to know what we did for them today. This colors how I position things; it helps me think, ‘How do I start off that conversation?’ That awareness of my own style and preferences helps me see that what I want to lead with maybe isn’t what will work best for them.”

2. Remember It’s Their Truth, Not Yours

“Sometimes your version of what is right isn’t right for your client,” Janet says. “When I want my clients to do the right thing according to me, rather than the right thing according to their reality, I can easily become frustrated and therefore less effective.

“When I view their world with a lens of objectivity and put aside judgment of ‘that choice is good or bad,’ then I can walk into conversations with a more open mind. And I’ve noticed that clients respond in kind. When I remember they’re the ones that are living it, not me, then I focus on doing my best to advise them. Yes, I’m trying to sway them, but I keep in mind the decisions and choices that come out of it are theirs to own.

“Am I disappointed sometimes? Of course. But I keep reminding myself that whatever conclusion they come to, it is their truth. It’s my job to give them my best thinking. Pushing them on something they don’t want—or don’t want yet—is going to break trust, not build it, no matter how ‘right’ I think I am.”

3. Focus on the Dialogue, not the Difficult

While Janet acknowledges that there are always difficult conversations to be had in any business relationship, she says they don’t have to be personally difficult.

“Earlier in my career, I might have taken more of a defensive posture with clients whose style can be aggressive or combative. Now, I see a tense conversation as less of a conflict, and more of a dialogue. And when I feel less tense, my clients seem to also.”

4. Bravely Go First

“If there’s an elephant in the room that no one wants to bring up, I take a deep breath and bravely go first—once I’ve put aside my own judgments. If you can somehow frame the elephant by thinking about the other person’s motives, viewpoint, and how they like to lead, it can bring down their barriers to listening, so a dialogue—not a stand-off—can ensue.”

5. Slow Down and Listen

Janet emphasizes the importance of listening, which can be challenging in the fast-paced world of strategy consulting. “Learning to be less focused on dictating how the play is going to end, and more focused on listening along the way, has been a real shift for me in my career.

“I remember once we were working on a key deliverable for a client. We’d been back and forth a couple of times on drafts. The client was mad at our team for not taking her comments seriously enough, and the team was frustrated because they thought she was being difficult. All it took was a real conversation and some patience to break the logjam. Slowing down to really listen made me realize that we were all arguing the same point. When I acknowledged that, she agreed and we were able to move on.”

6. Don’t Sweat It When You Don’t Click

“Not all my clients consider me their trusted advisor. That used to worry me—of course I want everyone to like me. Now I recognize that sometimes it’s not going to click. So part of being a trusted advisor is being self-aware enough to recognize when it’s time to pass that relationship off to someone else who might be better suited for the relationship.”

Janet’s self-knowledge, her commitment to continuous improvement, and her willingness to focus on relationships as well as results clearly make a difference—for her colleagues as well as her clients.

Connect with Janet on LinkedIn.

——–

The Real People, Real Trust series offers an insider view into the challenges, successes, and make-it-or-break-it moments of people from all corners of the world who are leading with trust. Check out our prior posts: read about Chip Grizzard, a CEO You Should Know; Ralph Catillo: How One Account Executive Stands Apart; Anna Dutton: A Fresh Perspective on Sales Operations; and Heber Sambucetti: A Learning Consultant’s Approach to Leadership.

StoryTime: When to Walk Away

October 20, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“StoryTime: When to Walk Away” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

Our Story Time series brings you real, personal examples from business life that shed light on specific ways to lead with trust. Our last story told of an unexpected way to recover lost trust. Today’s anecdote zeroes in on the importance of personal integrity.

A New Anthology

When it comes to trust-building, stories are a powerful tool for both learning and change. Our upcoming book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust (Wiley, October 31 2011), contains a multitude of stories. Told by and about people we know, these stories illustrate the fundamental attitudes, truths, and principles of trustworthiness.

Today’s story is excerpted from our chapter on dealing with untrustworthy people. It vividly demonstrates the value of being willing to walk away from a deal any time, and the paradoxical outcome that often follows.

From the Front Lines: Walking Away from the Table

Anthony Iannarino, President and CEO of SOLUTIONS Staffing in Columbus, Ohio, tells about facing an accusation from a client.

“After going through two long Request for Proposal processes, I was finally presenting to the 14-person buying team for a dream client. One panel member I knew to be hostile asked a critical question. I knew he wouldn’t like my answer, but I was truthful. He voted No—but I still won the job.

“At the contract signing, the ‘No Vote’ person read the contract and said: ‘I see here you have failed to meet the commitment you made to us in your presentation.’

“I replied: ‘I am sorry for any confusion, but I was very clear that I couldn’t provide that service. I told you that doing so would destroy our ability to provide you with the whole package we proposed, including the price.’

“The No Vote said: ‘You lied. You would have said anything in there just to get our business.’

“I got up and said: ‘Then I am afraid I can’t sign this contract. If you believe I lied to get your business, then I cannot take your business. I have never lied to get any business.’ And I got up to walk out.

“At this point the main buyer intervened. He contradicted the ‘No Vote’ and upheld my account of the presentation. The contract was signed.”

It was Anthony’s willingness to put integrity ahead of the sale that, paradoxically, made the sale.

—S. Anthony Iannarino (President and Chief Sales Officer, SOLUTIONS Staffing)

Are you, like Anthony, willing to walk the talk—even if it means walking out the door?

+++++++++++++

Connect with Anthony on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, or his blog.

Read more stories about trust:

An unexpected approach to developing new business with trust

Leading with trust in the C-suite

An unexpected way to recover lost trust

The Dos and Don’ts of Trust-Based Networking

October 17, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“The Dos and Don’ts of Trust-Based Networking” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates.

We’re pleased to announce the release of our latest eBook: The Dos and Don’ts of Trust-Based Networking.

It’s the fifth in the new Trusted Advisor Fieldbook series by Charles H. Green and Andrea P. Howe.

Each eBook provides a snapshot of content from The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, which is jam-packed with practical, hands-on strategies to dramatically improve your results in sales, relationship management, and organizational performance.

The Dos and Don’ts of Trust-Based Networking reveals:

  • How trust-based networking is different from every-day business networking
  • Ten best practices for trust-based networking
  • Specific dos and don’ts for online networking

P.S. Did you miss out on Volumes 1 through 4 of The Fieldbook eBook series? Get them while they’re still available:

  1. 15 Ways to Build Trust…Fast!
  2. How to Sell to the C-Suite
  3. Six Risks You Should Take to Build Trust
  4. How YOU Can Raise Trust in Your Organization

Take a look and let us know what you think.

P.P.S. There are just three weeks until the release of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook. Receive a free Trust Quotient diagnostic ($30 value) when you pre-order The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook before October 31, 2011 midnight EST. Send your receipt to bookoffer@trustedadvisor.com. We’ll send you access to discover your trust strengths and weaknesses.

October 2011 Improv Tip of the Month

October 14, 2011 in Improv, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

This month’s improv tip is from Shawn Westfall, BossaNova’s Improv Guru:

Think about your favorite sitcom, sketch, or movie characters. What do they have in common? A comic perspective: a committed way of seeing the world that’s uniquely theirs. Norm on “Cheers” doesn’t just like beer: he views the world through the bottom of a beer glass. Ron Burgandy from “Anchorman” isn’t just an anchorman; rather, he wears his local-TV anchorman status as a kind of armor to get him through his day.

The things you are committed to say quite a lot about the kind of person you are; as well, your clients can sense when you aren’t committed to them, or not as fully engaged as you should be.

The next time you feel your commitment to a client, colleague, or task flagging, ask yourself why. Then, ask yourself what it might take to re-engage completely and openly with that client, colleague or job.

Your answer might surprise you, and also open up previously unforeseen opportunities for you, your colleagues and your clients to engage in unprecedented ways.

Real People, Real Trust: A Learning Consultant’s Approach to Leadership

October 12, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Real People, Real Trust: A Learning Consultant’s Approach to Leadership” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

Heber Sambucetti is a senior learning consultant with Accenture, working routinely with some of Accenture’s most seasoned executives. Find out what Heber sees as the distinguishing traits of a trusted advisor, and learn how he has successfully turned the most challenging relationships into prosperous ones.

Foundations

Heber (pronounced EH-ver) and I met in 2010 when I led a Being a Trusted Advisor program for the team he works with. I was immediately struck by his candor, caring, and professionalism.

I began my Real People, Real Trust interview with Heber in the same way I’ve done in the past, asking, “What does it take to be a trusted advisor?” Heber’s immediate response was remarkably similar to Anna Dutton’s; he said, “Above all else, you need to be sincere and genuine.”

Heber continued, “That’s the only way you can create the right type of environment for a business relationship to prosper. You need to come with a pure intent to help others, and truly care about the person across from you.

“Secondly, don’t be afraid to bring emotions to the business environment. That’s a necessary element to create a certain level of intimacy—and by that I mean a sense of familiarity, closeness, and an understanding of each other. That way, not only do people see who you really are, but it makes it possible for you to ask the tough questions and deal with the tough stuff when it counts. If someone’s angry, you should be able to address that—as in, ‘What’s got you angry? I sense frustration.’ Sometimes people are afraid to explore this side of things. Validating other people is important. Sticking to the task only gets you so far.

“Those are your foundational pieces—the genuineness, the pure intent, and focusing on more than just the tasks at hand. And then you need to be able to consistently deliver whatever it is you’ve agreed upon, and bring something better for their business. That requires understanding what success is for them. And don’t forget about what you care about too. If it’s a one-way relationship it will never work.”

Fighting Fires

During our conversation, I discovered that Heber was a firefighter and Emergency Medical Technician in a prior life—something I never would have guessed, having interacted with him exclusively in a corporate environment. I asked him what parallels he saw between the world of consulting and the business of saving lives.

“In the fire department, I really learned first-hand the importance of establishing an environment of trust. When you feel like you’re part of a family, then you don’t want to let the family down, and you genuinely care about people you’re helping. You’re taught how to bring the best of yourself every day. The consequences of failure are extreme—your team member or a citizen loses a life. There is an unwritten rule that you all go in and you all come out; you don’t leave anyone behind.

“Sure, the stakes are different in business—mistakes in the corporate world won’t cost a life, no matter what the pressures you may feel inwardly, and I remind my team of that every day. But I still live by all those principles: be of service and always give it your best.”

Surviving the Heat

I asked Heber if he had a “proudest moment”—a time when he knew something important had shifted in a relationship.

“Once I turned a relationship from the individual being incredibly chastising and critical of everything—someone much more senior than me—to that person being a champion and educator. One day, after a series of interactions, I just had to lay it on the table. I said, ‘If you want to make me feel like sh** and perspire every time I talk to you, then you’re on target. But here’s the thing: I think I can learn from you. It’s true I don’t know everything, and we have a common goal of success with this project, so I need you to teach me instead of criticizing me.’ The person was taken by complete surprise and the relationship took a dramatic turn for the better. It was an intense moment. I ran out of deodorant. But I just had to say what was there.”

Heber then made a point to speak about taking responsibility for relationships gone wrong.

“When a relationship isn’t working, it’s easy to approach it from the perspective that you’re not doing anything and this person is beating you down. The question I always ask myself is, what am I doing to make the relationship better—or worse? What’s my piece to own? How have I let it fester? Holding yourself and others accountable are keys to relationships that work.”

Best Advice: You Snooze You Lose

I asked Heber for his best advice for someone who’s trying to increase trust in a relationship.

“First, ask yourself why you want to improve the relationship with that person; what’s in it for you. Always ask why. If the answer is, ‘Because I need to make my numbers and have them sign on the dotted line,’ think again. Would you want someone to approach you that way? No. OK, then try again from a different perspective. Put yourself in their shoes.

“Most people have a gut feel for what others are thinking and feeling, they’ve just hit the snooze button on it. They don’t want to look at it—it’s too raw, too emotional, too difficult, so snooze it is. And then they’re surrounded by alarm clocks all on snooze. That’s not sustainable.

“This applies personally as well as professionally. If I ever hit the snooze button with my son, he tells me right away. Children have a magical way of reminding you straight out that you’ve hit snooze—‘You promised me we’d play soccer, Dad.’ ‘We’ll do it tomorrow.’ ‘That’s what you said yesterday, Dad.’

“So I do what I can to minimize how many snooze buttons I have in life.”

Warming the Heart

Heber’s approach to building relationships reminds me of Heber: straight up, wise, humorous, warmhearted.

I don’t know about you, but I’m glad to have the Hebers of the world to keep me honest and out of danger.

Connect with Heber on LinkedIn.

——–

The Real People, Real Trust series offers an insider view into the challenges, successes, and make-it-or-break-it moments of people from all corners of the world who are leading with trust. Check out our prior posts: read about Chip Grizzard, a CEO You Should Know; Ralph Catillo: How One Account Executive Stands Apart; and Anna Dutton: A Fresh Perspective on Sales Operations.

How YOU Can Raise Trust in Your Organization

October 10, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“How YOU Can Raise Trust in Your Organization” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates.

We’re pleased to announce the release of our latest eBook: People Behaving Badly: How YOU Can Raise Trust in Your Organization.

It’s the fourth in the new Trusted Advisor Fieldbook series by Charles H. Green and Andrea P. Howe.

Each eBook provides a snapshot of content from The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, which is jam-packed with practical, hands-on strategies to dramatically improve your results in sales, relationship management, and organizational performance.

People Behaving Badly: How YOU Can Raise Trust in Your Organization reveals:

  • The three steps to constructive confrontation
  • What to do when constructive confrontation doesn’t work
  • When to walk away

P.S. Did you miss out on Volume 1, 2, or 3 of The Fieldbook eBook series? Get them while they’re still available:

Take a look and let us know what you think.

P.P.S. There are just three weeks until the release of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook. Receive a free Trust Quotient diagnostic ($30 value) when you pre-order The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook before October 31, 2011 midnight EST. Send your receipt to bookoffer@trustedadvisor.com. We’ll send you access to discover your trust strengths and weaknesses.

Story Time: An Unexpected Way to Recover Lost Trust

September 23, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Story Time: An Unexpected Way to Recover Lost Trust” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

When it comes to trust-building, stories are a powerful tool for both learning and change. Our new Story Time series brings you real, personal examples from business life that shed light on specific ways to lead with trust. Today’s anecdote zeroes in on an unexpected way to recover lost trust and appease an unhappy client: listening.

A New Anthology

Our upcoming book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust (Wiley, October 2011), contains a multitude of stories. Told by and about people we know, these stories illustrate the fundamental attitudes, truths, and principles of trustworthiness. In the coming months, we’ll share a selection of stories from the new book with you.

Today’s story is excerpted from our chapter on listening. It vividly demonstrates the value of hearing someone out, resisting the temptation to problem-solve too quickly, and being willing to always do what’s in your client’s best interests—even if that means letting go of the work assignment.

From the Front Lines: Listening to Recover Trust

Catherine Gregory, Senior Principal at SRA International in its Touchstone Consulting Group in Washington, DC, tells a story of the business value of listening.

“I had a team of four working on a long-term project with an important client who especially valued seeing the same faces year after year. In the course of three months, the entire team turned over. I had to deliver the bad news as each team member departed.

“After several turnovers, my client vented to me his frustration. I listened, and then listened some more, as he expressed his concerns and aggravation. He concluded with, ‘I know you are doing all you can. I just had to get that out.’ He was still unhappy and we were able to move forward together.

“Once things were stable with the team, I brought up the possibility of phasing out our support and letting him phase in a contractor who he felt would be more reliable. He didn’t want anyone else; he wanted our team.

“This experience proved to me without a doubt that listening is a critical business skill, and a way to recover trust in the face of challenging circumstances.”

—Catherine Gregory (Senior Principal, SRA International, Touchstone Consulting Group, Washington, DC)

Who in your life is waiting for you to give them a good listening to?

Now Presenting…Four Experts on Powerful Presentations

September 22, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Now Presenting…Four Experts on Powerful Presentations” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

I’ve been giving business presentations for nearly 20 years. The more I do it, the more I appreciate just how hard it is to do it really well. Today’s blog post features four resources to help with various aspects of speaking and presenting. Please add your favorites!

Get it Together

The same ol’ same ol’ approach to designing your presentation may not be getting the results you want. Nick Morgan (@DrNickMorgan) shares 5 Quick Ways to Organize a Speech.

Nick says:

“Too many people structure their presentations by pulling together slides and then assembling them like a deck of cards, in what seems like an OK order.  That usually means that no one except the presenter can divine where the speech is headed.

“That’s a bad idea.

“At the heart of a successful presentation is a clear structure.  Which one should you use?  The best structure for what you’re trying to do depends on the nature of your talk.”

Nick then shares five possible situations in the organizational world for which you might be called upon to present, with a suggested outline for each.

Present with Presence

Sims Wyeth (@simswyeth) writes regularly about a variety of delivery techniques likepausing as a presentation skill.
Sims says:

“Taking time to think when you’re on stage makes you more interesting to watch. It gives you presence and gravitas. It fills your body with a mysterious power-electric activity under the skin.”

Who doesn’t want a little mysterious power-electric activity under the skin!

(By the way, I recently signed up for Sims’ weekly Presentation Pointers and am really enjoying them. They are brief, insightful, and usable—a great combination.)

The One “Thing” to Avoid

Patricia Fripp (@PFripp) writes about the importance of being deliberate with the words we choose in How to Sound Intelligent in a Speech or Sales Presentation.
Patricia says:

“The one thing you should always avoid when you speak is—“thing.” What a fuzzy, flabby, non-specific word! Never be vague if you want to be believed. Use exact, precise words—words with power and value.”

Yes, ma’am.

Kill the Presentation Altogether

You wouldn’t treat a job interview like a sales presentation, complete with 40-slide deck, would you? S. Anthony Iannarino (@iannarino) turns our traditional ideas of how to conduct a sales call upside down in You Think You Are Presenting. You Are Being Interviewed.

Anthony says:

“Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you absolutely must present your company using your standard slide deck and when you must share some basic history. Even then, that presentation should not dominate your time with your dream client.

“Your dream client considers you a candidate for hire. They are considering making you part of their team and giving your responsibility for some outcome. The reason they need a dialogue instead of a monologue is because they are trying to get to know you. They are trying to make a good decision.”

Goodbye presenting, hello listening.

Six Risks You Should Take to Build Trust

September 19, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Six Risks You Should Take to Build Trust” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates.

We’re pleased to announce the release of our latest eBook: Six Risks You Should Take to Build Trust.

It’s the third in the new Trusted Advisor Fieldbook series by Charles H. Green and Andrea P. Howe.

Each eBook provides a snapshot of content fromThe Trusted Advisor Fieldbook, which is jam-packed with practical, hands-on strategies to dramatically improve your results in sales, relationship management, and organizational performance.

Six Risks You Should Take to Build Trust reveals:

  • How taking risks actually reduces risk
  • A powerful tool for making difficult conversations easier
  • Six ways to build your risk-taking muscle

P.S. Did you miss out on Volume 1 or 2 of The Fieldbook eBook series? Get them while they’re still available:

Take a look and let us know what you think.

P.P.S. There are just six weeks until the release of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook. Receive a free Trust Quotient diagnostic ($30 value) when you pre-order The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook before October 31, 2011 midnight EST. Send your receipt to bookoffer@trustedadvisor.com. We’ll send you access to discover your trust strengths and weaknesses.

Story Time: Leading with Trust in the C-Suite

September 16, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Story Time: Leading with Trust in the C-Suite” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates.

When it comes to trust-building, stories are a powerful tool for both learning and change. Our new Story Time series brings you real, personal examples from business life that shed light on specific ways to lead with trust. Today’s anecdote zeroes in on being trustworthy in the C-suite.

A New Anthology

Our upcoming book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust (Wiley, October 2011), contains a multitude of such stories. Told by and about people we know, these stories illustrate the fundamental attitudes, truths, and principles of trustworthiness. In the coming months, we’ll share a selection of stories from the new book with you.

Today’s story is excerpted from our chapter on selling to the C-suite. It vividly demonstrates the value of speaking directly, and asking questions that are simple and humble. (And if it leaves you wanting more, check out our eBook, “How to Sell to the C-Suite.”)

From the Front Lines: Asking a Simple Question

Paulo Novaes, a Senior Manager working in Mexico for a global consulting firm, tells a story about the power of asking questions.

“At the due diligence stage of selling to a global bank, I was gathering information on how they work: their existing skills and where the gaps might be. This was a company which traditionally did everything in-house, and we would be their first outsourcing partner.

“The executive in charge told me with great passion of all they had accomplished, the skills they had, and procedures they had put in place, and so on. It was impressive.

“I had to ask a simple, critical question: ‘Why do you need us?’

“Once the client recovered from his surprise, he came back with set of answers: ‘You have the experience, the methodology, the capability to add to all we have built. Also, yes, we are good, we are proud, and have reached a limit in efficiency, with what we can do by ourselves. We need an external partner to complement what we’ve done, who is able to design a solution to fit our needs.’

“The client sold himself on our services in that moment.

“What I learned: sometimes you have to ask basic questions. Simple and humble is often better. Rather than struggle to find what’s beneath the surface or between the lines, the best way to advance is to be as direct as possible—even at the risk of going against cultural norms. If you speak directly—in a polite manner and with respect—the customer will thank you. You are saving their time and getting a better result.”

—Paulo Novaes (Mexico)

That’s Paulo’s story. What makes a difference in the C-suite in your experience?

Real People, Real Trust: A Fresh Perspective on Sales Operations

September 15, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Real People, Real Trust: A Fresh Perspective on Sales Operations” can also be found on the Trust Matters blog.

Anna Dutton is a Sales Operations Director for Blackboard, a company that brings technology to the world of education. Find out what Anna sees as the distinguishing traits of a trusted advisor, and learn two concrete steps she recommends for anyone who wants to bring more transparency and trust to their business relationships.

In a Word: Genuine

Anna (pronounced “Ahna”) and I met in 2009 when she was leading a team of 10 inside salespeople and wanted to share the principles of Trust-Based Selling with the group. In our exploratory conversations, Anna’s thoughtfulness, poise, authenticity, and commitment to people being the best they can be really shined through. Anna has the world at her fingertips— she has 15 years of business experience in roles as diverse as banking, tourism, and human resources, and she speaks three languages fluently. Yet she is as down-to-earth as they come.

I began my Real People, Real Trust interview with Anna the same way I began my conversation with others I’ve featured, by asking a simple question: What does it take to be a trusted advisor? Without a moment of hesitation, Anna said, “Being genuine.”

“Genuine for me means not being afraid to tell the truth, to say what you think, to say something that others may not agree with. It’s about really having integrity with the people you have relationships with.

“Most of my colleagues and former team members would probably tell you that I will always say the truth and not hide from it.  I want them to know they can rely on me, they can be honest with me, and that I always have their back. This extends into my personal life, too. It’s important for people to know where I’m coming from and that I will always meet them halfway.”

Delivery Matters

Anna emphasized the difference that delivery makes.

“Of course, I always consider how to say things. Delivery makes a difference. People have come to count on an expression I often use: ‘I’m sorry I just have to be blunt.’ They laugh now when they hear it, which brings some levity to what might otherwise be a tense conversation.

“Here’s what I’ve noticed over the years: I have never had someone say, ‘I wish you hadn’t told me that.’ I will apologize for being so transparent, but I will never need to apologize for saying the truth.

“I changed roles a few months ago, and had an exit dinner with my team. They said, ‘We trusted you; we knew you always had our back.’ The irony was that they further created that trust amongst themselves and strengthened their ties so much that they could focus on helping each other excel and succeed.  Projects and deliveries and tasks aside, this is what matters in life.”

The Courage to Stay the Course

Anna spoke to me in her characteristically frank way about the courage it takes to live from the principle of transparency.

“When you’re committed to telling the truth, you have to accept that some people won’t like it, and that not everyone will be willing to take the journey with you. Courage is being willing to take the risk and accept the consequences. Ironically, when you do that, you realize the consequences aren’t so bad. Truth-telling not only forges stronger relationships, but people respect you more, and ultimately, they thank you.

“I’m not saying it’s easy. I always have to remind myself that the benefits outweigh the negatives, and remind myself that I won’t stand for anything less. I definitely have my share of vulnerable moments. When I can remember what’s lost by not being genuine in this way, I know it’s worth the risk.”

The Journey

Anna attributes the learning of these important lessons to her own personal experiences, as well as people in her life who have served as role models, like one boss who stands out as a real trusted advisor. “I was so sad when he retired last year, but I take his lessons with me every day,” she says. Anna has also learned a lot from living and traveling all over the world.

“I had an atypical upbringing: being a first generation American and growing up in Italy, Spain, and the States.  I often related to different cultures, different people, and different perspectives.  I had to take risks to create relationships and to connect with my changing world. Life taught me many lessons, and I went from child afraid to say what she thought to someone who can, as a direct result of facing life’s challenges.”

Anna continues, “I also think that being great at relationships requires being a dedicated student of relationships. I’ve read a lot, learned a lot from experts, and I’m friends with people who are psychologist and organizational development experts. Our dinner parties are often marked by spirited and thoughtful conversations about human dynamics.”

(By the way, two books Anna highly recommends are A Fortune-Teller Told Me: Earthbound Travels in the Far East by Tiziano Terzani—a book that reinforces how just changing how you do things can cause dramatic changes in the world around you—and Type Talk at Work: How the 16 Personality Types Determine Your Success on the Job by Otto Kroeger with Janet M. Thuesen and Hile Rutledge, which emphasizes the importance of knowing your audience and how you communicate.)

Best Advice in Two Steps

I asked Anna what advice she had for anyone wanting to bring more transparency and trust to their business relationships. She suggested two concrete steps:

1.      Write down what you’re afraid of and really be honest with yourself.“Understand why you’re afraid of these things. Do whatever work you need to figure it out and address it—talk with friends, go to therapy, whatever. You have to understand what’s underneath it first.  You can’t create trust if you have fear.”
2.      While you’re figuring it out, just tell the truth for a week without coloring or altering and see what happens. “Worst case: you may annoy some folks, and see that they will not join you. I’m not suggesting you tell someone ‘You’re a horrid person’; you might say something like, ‘This situation is not working and this is why’ or ‘I’m nervous about this engagement and this is why.”

Anna says, “Being a trusted advisor is a process; it’s not like you learn it and then—boom—you do it every day. Plus as you evolve as a person, as you develop and grow, your approach may change. You’ll have bad weeks, and good weeks.  But more than anything, it’s a philosophy, an approach to life.”

Connect with Anna on LinkedIn.

—————————————————

The Real People, Real Trust series offers an insider view into the challenges, successes, and make-it-or-break-it moments of people from all corners of the world who are leading with trust. Check out our prior posts: read about Chip Grizzard, a CEO You Should Know and Ralph Catillo: How One Account Executive Stands Apart.

“How to Sell to the C-Suite” can also be found on the Trust Matters Blog.

How to Sell to the C-Suite

August 12, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“How to Sell to the C-Suite” can also be found on the Trust Matters Blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates LLC.

We’re pleased to announce the release of our latest eBook, “How to Sell to the C-Suite.”

It’s the second in the new Fieldbook series, celebrating the forthcoming release of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust (Wiley Books, October 31, 2011), by Charles H. Green (@CharlesHGreen) and Andrea P. Howe (@AndreaPHowe).

Each eBook provides a snapshot of content from our Fieldbook, which is jam-packed with practical, hands-on strategies to dramatically improve your results in sales, relationship management, and organizational performance.

“How to Sell to the C-Suite” reveals:

  • What’s different about selling to C-level executives
  • A powerful 3-part preparation plan for C-suite sales
  • 9 best practices for successful C-suite selling.

Did you miss out on Volume 1 of The Fieldbook Series eBooks? Get it while it’s still available: 15 Ways to Build Trust…Fast!

Take a look and let us know what you think.

If you’re not already receiving these in your inbox, please sign up here.

Leading with Trust: Story Time

August 11, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Leading with Trust: Story Time” can also be found on the Trust Matters Blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates LLC.

When it comes to trust-building, stories are a powerful tool for both learning and change. Our new Story Time series invites you to pause for a time-out from your hectic day to gather ‘round for an insightful tale. Today’s anecdote sheds light on an unexpected approach to developing new business with trust.

The Magic of Stories

Stories tell the lessons of leading with trust in a vivid and memorable way. They help us make sense of what it means to trust and be trusted. Stories appeal to the heart as well as the head, they bridge the gap between differing audience types, and they provide meaning and order to our existence.

They also inspire what every leader wants—action—by providing intellectual insight into specific trust behaviors to adopt, along with the emotional motivation to do so.

A New Anthology

Our upcoming book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust (Wiley, October 2011), is infused with a multitude of stories. Told by and about people we know, these stories illustrate the fundamental attitudes, truths, and principles of trustworthiness. Over the next several months we’ll share a selection of stories from the new book with you.

Today’s story is excerpted from our chapter on developing new business with existing clients. It vividly demonstrates the personal nature of trust and the value of adopting a long-term view.

_________________________________________________

From the Front Lines: In It for the Long Haul

A savvy private wealth manager in Canada told me the long-term view he takes with his clients.

“I once offered to do some free investment planning for a client’s 12- and 14-year-old children. My co-worker was confused why I was wasting my time with children.

“’Are you kidding?’ I said. I regularly meet with clients’ children and explain the concept of saving, investing and risk. Even at the ages mentioned I have had success in making the experience relevant for the children and ultimately appreciated by the parents.

“I believe in long-term focus and relationships. While working with clients’ children has resulted in referrals (a happy outcome to be sure) that is never our primary intent. Our purpose is to build long-term relationships by continuously delivering a remarkable experience for our clients and their families.”

—As told to Charles H. Green

Excerpted from The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust by Charles H. Green and Andrea P. Howe. Order your copy today!

15 Ways to Build Trust…Fast!

August 4, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“15 Ways to Build Trust…Fast!” can also be found on the Trust Matters Blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates LLC.

In case you missed it, here’s your opportunity to get a copy of our latest eBook, “15 Ways to Build Trust … Fast!”

It’s the first in the new Fieldbook series, celebrating the forthcoming release of The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading with Trust (Wiley Books, October 31, 2011), by Charles H. Green (@CharlesHGreen) and Andrea P. Howe (@AndreaPHowe).

These eBooks are distillations of some of the content from our Fieldbook, which is designed to provide you with a complete set of tools to improve your ability to lead as a trusted advisor. “15 Ways to Build Trust … Fast!” debunks the myth that trust takes time to develop, and provides concrete tips for accelerating trust in any business relationship. Next up: selling to the C-suite—how to put the executive first, the relationship second, the sale third, and your own ego last.

If you’re not already receiving these in your inbox, please sign up here.

Don’t forget to check out our Trust Tip collection for more quick tips on building trust.

The Great Twitter Debate: She Said, He Said

July 29, 2011 in Tips of the Trade, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“The Great Twitter Debate: She Said, He Said” can also be found on the Trust Matters Blog.

My co-author Charlie Green (@charleshgreen) and I (@andreaphowe) are both on Twitter. We have rather different ideas about it, however. We talked about our differing perspectives the other day, and decided to share our thoughts. What’s your view?

May I Have Your Attention Please

Andrea: I have a lot of mixed feelings about Twitter. In a world marked these days by a lot of distractions, Twitter is a big one—one more thing that helps shorten my attention span. This troubles me because being focused, present, paying attention—not being distracted—are the thrust of what you and I both teach and talk about.

Charlie: Well, if you’re going to tend bar, you’d better make sure your drinking problem is under control. Twitter is indeed mostly about short attention span. Then again, so are racquetball and improv comedy. Each of them is about impressions, reacting in the moment.

Twitter is where you come to scan, not to find soul mates. There is a time and a place for everything.

Andrea: You know I don’t visit bars much. I do have a soft spot for improv comedy, though. Good point.

Popularity Contest or Personal Growth?

Andrea: As much as I like to think of myself as a somewhat-enlightened grown up, I just can’t seem to avoid the negative emotional component of the Twittersphere. Twitter takes me back to junior high school popularity contests. Sometimes I feel great, like “I’m popular, wow.” Other times, it’s depressing as hell—“Why’d I lose 5 followers today? What did I do wrong?” (laughing).

Charlie: You can take the kid out of the junior high school; the important thing is to take the junior high school out of the kid. I actually see Twitter as a personal growth tool. It forces you to recognize that not every 140-second ADD burst from a stranger is an attack upon your being. It really doesn’t mean much at all.

Andrea: You know I’m a sucker for personal growth. I’m just not sure Twitter is where I want to work this stuff out.

The Downside of Early Adoption

Andrea: As long as I’m listing my complaints, let me add this one: Doing it well requires way too many steps. There’s using different client software programs, mastering Twitter etiquette, making the effort to acknowledge followers appropriately. It can take a lot of steps to create a good Tweet. So much for scanning and reacting in the moment. I’d rather let the process work itself out. Call me (Tweet me?) when the tools are better. I’m not an early adopter; I’m here purely under protest.

Charlie: On this we can agree. Twitter is still immature, and while it is changing—every month something gets easier—it’s still too cumbersome. I want more integration, more platforms, more easily available stats, and so forth.

You don’t want to be an early adopter? I don’t blame you a bit. I am an early adopter myself, but you do a pay a price for the privilege.

Authentically Pre-Scheduled

Andrea: Let’s talk about scheduling tweets. It smacks of being strategic rather than authentic; it doesn’t feel real. If this is such a conversational tool, then why pretend otherwise by pre-writing and then auto-delivering?

Charlie: I think you’re confusing “authentic” with “real-time.” Chat rooms and IRC have been around for decades. Authentic to me means real, not necessarily ‘right now.’ I have no desire to hang around for an hour watching the feed until someone looks me up and replies. I’ve got better things to do.

Also, not everybody reads when I want to write—that’s the great thing about time-shifting technologies. By spreading tweets around, I get to more people, and more people get to me.

Andrea: Hmmm. Interesting point about “authentic” versus “real-time.” I’m going to have to think about that one.

The Big Cocktail Party

Andrea: Maybe what irks me most is that the nature of Twitter tends toward superficial interactions. While there is some substantive stuff getting exchanged out there, a lot of Twitter seems more like idle party chit chat than real connection. And I have never been a big fan of cocktail parties.

Charlie: Remember that song, “Lookin’ for Love in All the Wrong Places?” Of course Twitter is chit chat, of course it’s a big cocktail party. Why do you think they call it Twitter?

Seriously, there’s a place for shallow, and a place for deep. Twitter is shallow; blogs are deeper. Articles are deeper yet. Or books—books are real deep.

But if you want to do a surface scan on what tons of people are thinking or saying about a particular topic—hey, God bless Twitter. And compared to real cocktail parties, at least you don’t have to drink or worry about how you look.

Hello, World

Andrea: Despite all my complaints, I do tweet. And I do see one very powerful thing about Twitter: it connects people who otherwise might not be connected. It lets people share perspectives and interesting pieces of information. Link-shortening is a blessing.

Charlie: Amen to that. Twitter is the new blog comments. Twitter is the new RSS feed (though we both use Feedly and I use AllTop to source some material). It is a whole ‘nother level of content-sharing between article/blog headlines and the articles themselves—and it lets you express your own views along the way.

Twitter lets me efficiently state to the world who I am, by way of sharing what I read and my take on it. You could call that branding.

Also, contrary to all the cocktail party metaphors, I’ve met some really cool people through Twitter–and then I’ve gotten more acquainted with many of them through email, by phone, and in-person. It is a fine way to meet interesting folks relevant to one’s business.

Parlez-vous?

Andrea: One last thing. I wish I didn’t have to invest the time to learn a whole new language with Twitter: “RT,” “TY,” the myriad other abbreviations, and the effort it takes to say something sensible in 140 characters. We humans can barely communicate well in our native tongue. Isn’t our time better spent trying to master our own language?

Charlie: That’s what I keep saying to the French when I visit Paris! But I haven’t been able to convince them yet to speak English.

Andrea: Tell me you did not just try to compare Twitter to Paris.

What’s your perspective? Join the conversation. Post a comment to this blog. Tweet about it. Email us. Or—gasp—give us a call.

Real People, Real Trust: How One Account Executive Stands Apart

July 27, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Real People, Real Trust: How One Account Executive Stands Apart” can also be found on the Trust Matters Blog.

Ralph Catillo is an Account Executive with Gallagher Benefit Services, one of the largest employee benefit agencies in the northeast region of the United States. Read Ralph’s no-holds-barred replies to questions about what it really takes to be a trusted advisor—and how the lessons he has learned apply at home as well as at work.

First Impressions

I know Ralph because he was a champion for a Trusted Advisor immersion workshop I led for his company in 2010. The first time we ever spoke on the phone, I was immediately struck by two things about him: his humor and his candor. Within minutes of interacting with Ralph, it’s crystal clear that he has nothing to hide. You get the sense that he’s quick, yet not in a rush; he’s knowledgeable, yet more interested in what you have to say than what he knows.

I began the interview for this article by asking Ralph a simple question: What does it take to be a trusted advisor? With characteristic dry wit, he immediately said, “I show up with a brown bag full of cash. It’s all been laundered.” Then he got serious for a moment, because more than anything he’s a thoughtful guy. His answer was simple: it takes honesty and purpose.

The 1-2 Punch of a Trusted Advisor: Honesty and Purpose

“You have to be 100% transparent, and 100% with no agenda other than doing the right thing. That’s really all there is. If you put aside your agenda, and your role, and really just come from the perspective of what is the best thing for this situation, whatever it may be, then you’re on the right track.

“The challenge is, the best thing for this situation might not be clear from the onset. So you have to get comfortable being in a zone of not knowing, where others are sometimes uncomfortable, and just put it all out there. You don’t have to have the answer, and you definitely don’t have to be the smartest one in the room. Everyone—me included—gets tripped up trying to be the smartest in the room, as opposed to coming at it with open ears and eyes. The best idea usually comes when you don’t come at it from an angle.”

As for honesty, Ralph says, “We’re in the services business, so it’s all about relationships. You have to be yourself. When you’re not, it’s unhealthy and unproductive.”

I asked Ralph about the courage it takes to do what he prescribes. He laughed. “Courage? I think it’s a lot more courageous to try to skirt an issue or be someone you aren’t—you put yourself at much greater risk. If I put all my cards on the table and I don’t get the business, well, at least I know I did everything I could.”

Nature or Nurture

I asked Ralph if he came by his approach naturally, or if he had learned it over time.

“I’ve evolved to it. When you’re in school, you’re trained to get the right answer. No one teaches you how to have conversations and day-to-day interactions. Then you take that right-answer mindset into business and it doesn’t work. In fact, that’s why I think so many managers struggle and fail—because they try to force what they think is right on others.

“I’ve definitely butted heads with people a lot along my own learning curve. Fortunately, I had a great role model and mentor along the way.”

Mentoring and Stewardship

Ralph credits David Friedman with his mindset about building trust in relationships. David, who joined his father and a part-time secretary 28 years ago in a small insurance practice located above a storefront on Main Street in Moorestown, NJ, later became the company’s first and only President when they incorporated as RSI in 1994 (later merging with Gallagher). Ralph says, “My first foray into trust-based relationships was through the RSI Fundamentals, which David created.”

The Fundamentals, which have since been published as a book, are 30 tenets that inform every employee’s day-to-day behavior. They include directives like:

  • Work from the assumption that people are good, fair, and honest.
  • Create a feeling of warmth and friendliness in every client interaction.
  • Take responsibility.
  • Be quick to ask and slow to judge.

“Those 30 Fundamentals changed my whole thought process and approach. Because of the Fundamentals, we’re deliberate about the mindset we bring to our interactions. We use a common language. And we have the right people too—we’re careful about hiring.”

Ralph credits David for David’s personal mentoring and stewardship of Gallagher Benefit Services. “It’s thanks to David that our company has developed and sustained this kind of culture. I’m not a lone ranger in my organization; it’s a top-down thing. That doesn’t mean it isn’t sometimes a challenge. It’s still uncomfortable to walk the talk, and not everyone is great at it. But at least we have a shared understanding about what we aspire to.”

It’s Business; It’s Personal

Ralph sees a lot of parallels between trust in business relationships and in personal relationships.

“Consistency breeds trust. I see that as a professional, as a friend, and as a father. With my kids, all I want them to do is communicate, without fear of repercussions. That takes a lot of time and experiences and leading by example.

“Just yesterday my teen-aged son had his buddies over after school, before I came home from work. They’d come from the pool, and one of my son’s friends sat in my chair in his soaking wet suit. As soon as I got home, my son pulled me aside, told me what happened, and took responsibility for it. He was surprised when I thanked him for being up front and direct about it, instead of getting angry. I reminded him what I want more than anything is for him to just keep talking to me. A chair is a chair; it can be cleaned up. But the next time it might be something far more worrisome, like someone approaching him with drugs. I want to be a parent, and a resource, not the judge and jury.”

Keeping it Simple

Ralph’s perspective on leading with trust in all his relationships is a lot like the guy himself: uncomplicated, direct, thoughtful, real.

In the words of the famous artist, Leonardo DaVinci, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” Thank you, Ralph, for sharing your art with all of us.

Connect with Ralph on LinkedIn.

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The Real People, Real Trust series offers an insider view into the challenges, successes, and make-it-or-break-it moments of people from all corners of the world who are leading with trust. Check out our prior posts: read about Chip Grizzard, a CEO You Should Know.

Creating a Culture of Trust: Virtues and Values

July 21, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

“Creating a Culture of Trust: Virtues and Values” can also be found at the Trust Matters Blog and is co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates LLC.

This post comes from our upcoming book, The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook: A Comprehensive Toolkit for Leading With Trust, from the chapter on Implementing a Culture of Trust. Tools for trust initiatives include principles, or values, at the organizational level, and personal attributes, or virtues, at the individual level. The chapter explores five tools for implementing trust change initiatives: leading by example, stories, vocabulary, and managing with wisdom. This post explores two diagnostic tools: the Trust Temperament™ and the Trust Roadmap™.

We will be sharing selected portions of the book with our readers leading up to the publication date. The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook will be available from Wiley Books on October 31, 2011, or you can pre-order The Trusted Advisor Fieldbook today.

What Is a High-trust Organization?

Our definition: an organization of people who are trustworthy, and appropriately trusting, working together in an environment that actively encourages those behaviors in employees as well as stakeholders.

Creating a culture of trust requires a different emphasis than do most change initiatives. What works to reduce accident rates, increase customer-centricity, or become ISO-9000 compliant isn’t the same as what’s needed to create a high-trust organization.

Trust is about interpersonal relations. For people to trust and be trusted by others, they must take personal risks and face personal fears in ways that cannot, by their nature, be fully planned and structured in ways that typical change initiatives can rely on.

That suggests a different emphasis: an initiative built around personal change.

Two Keys to Trust Culture Change: Virtues and Values

Creating a high-trust culture boils down to two main thrusts: virtues and values. “Virtues” are the personal qualities that high-trust people embody, and “values” are what guide the organizations they work in. In trust-based organizations, virtues and values are consistent and mutually reinforcing.

We use these words very intentionally, because they’re commonly understood–and common language matters. Each deserves its own word and understanding, and both are required for trust culture change. In our experience, some companies rightly focus on organizational values, but few focus enough on personal virtues.

The virtues of trust are personal, and involve your level of trustworthiness and your ability to trust. The virtues of trust are contained in the trust equation: credibility, reliability, intimacy, and self-orientation.

It is virtuous for someone to tell the truth, to behave dependably, to keep confidences, and to be mindful of the needs of others. Unless people take personal responsibility for their own behavior around trust, the organization will never be a trust-based organization.

The values of trust are institutional, and drive the organization’s external relationships, leadership, structure, rewards, and key processes. The values of a trust-based organization are reflected in the four trust principles: other-focus, collaboration, medium- to long-term perspective, and transparency. An organization that espouses these values treats others with respect, has an inclination to partner, has a bias toward a longer timeframe, and shares information.

Trust-based organizations take values very seriously. If your organization has never fired someone for a values violation, then either you’ve been astoundingly successful in your hiring and development efforts, or you’re not a strongly values-driven organization.

Diagnosing Trust

To improve virtues and values, it’s helpful to know where you’re starting from—to have some kind of diagnostic. For virtues, there is the trust quotient: for values, there is the Trust Roadmap™.

Virtues.

The trust quotient is a self-diagnostic taken at the individual level, based on the four values of the trust equation. With individual data aggregated anonymously at the group level, you can profile the organization in terms of Trust Temperaments (the pair of highest-scoring values in the trust equation for an individual), as follows:

Trust Temperament™ Highest Ranked Attributes Motto
The Expert C, R “Lead, follow, or get out of the way.”– Anonymous
The Doer R, I “As for accomplishments, I just did what I had to do as things came along.”– Eleanor Roosevelt
The Catalyst C, I “A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.”– Martin Luther King, Jr.
The Professor C, S “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”– Albert Einstein
The Steward R, S “My goal wasn’t to make a ton of money. It was to build good computers.” – Steve Wozniak
The Connector I, S “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”– Anonymous

Values.

The Trust Roadmap is a diagnostic tool that surveys the Trust Values across components of organizations, as below:

Collaboration Medium- to Long-Term Perspective Transparency Other Focus
External Relationships
Leadership
Structure
Rewards
Processes

Generic and organization-specific questions are developed for each of the 20 cells, and the survey administered to groups of stakeholders: customers, employees, managers, for example. For example, the question for Leadership and Medium-to-Long Term Perspective might be “Your leaders are willing to sacrifice short-term gains for the long-term benefit of the organization.”

The survey results allow a management team to assess, in a structured manner, where the organizational values that drive trust are being implemented, and where they’re not; how those patterns vary across constituencies; and what they feel the priority should be in addressing the issues. In short, a Trust Roadmap.

Real People, Real Trust: A CEO You Should Know

May 23, 2011 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

Real People, Real Trust: A CEO You Should Know can also be found at the Trust Matters Blog.

Chip Grizzard (@chipgrizzard) is the CEO of Grizzard Communications Group, a nonprofit marketing and fundraising agency. Chip is the fourth-generation member of the Grizzard family to work at the 91-year-old company. Discover Chip’s candid replies to questions about what it really takes to be a Trusted Advisor and how to create a company that leads with trust, every day.

Seven Key Traits of a Trusted Advisor

I first met Chip in January of this year when he brought me in to teach his top 35 leaders about Trust-Based Selling. It was clear from the moment we met that he’s a very principled man with a real commitment to being the kind of leader that others want to follow.

When I interviewed Chip for this article, I asked him what he sees as the fundamental attributes of a Trusted Advisor. His answers highlighted seven key traits:

  1. Keep your promises. “You gotta do what you say you’re going to do. So many times people will casually say, ‘I’ll send you that’ or ‘I’ll call you about this.’ I routinely make mental notes about how often people follow through on their promises. It’s about 50% of the time or less. That drives me nuts and definitely impacts my perception of someone else’s trustworthiness, so I work hard to be sure I keep my promises. I watch my words a lot and don’t make off-hand comments. If I say it, I’ll write it down or get a text message to help me remember. And then I’ll do it.”
  2. Focus on others’ success. “The only way I’m successful is if I make others successful. You can’t fake caring about what others think or what’s important to them.”
  3. Stay in it for the long haul. “You can’t look for a short-term gain; you have do to what’s right for the long-term. We have a 60-year client relationship in one case; other clients have been with us 20 and 30 years. This is unheard of in our industry. We give them all we have and they know we’re in it with them.”
  4. Treat people right. “It really is so simple. Just treat people right. It doesn’t get any simpler. If you do that, then great things happen. The day we’re fired from one client is the day we start working to rebuild that relationship and win that business back. We always end a relationship as positively as we can. Any time you take a hard approach, you burn a bridge. Some agencies in our space take the harder approach. They carry that with them forever. We always strive to be fair—to ourselves as well as our clients.”
  5. Persevere. “It might take ten years to fix something, or to win someone’s business. So be it.”
  6. Never compromise. “Compromise is not negotiable. It’s not even something I think about. Our industry is very small and people move around a lot. News travels fast about how you treat others. Personal integrity matters.”

Here’s the seventh, which I’m adding to the list on Chip’s behalf:

  1. 7. Modesty. Chip didn’t speak of this trait directly; he demonstrated it. At the beginning of our interview, this very confident and highly successful leader said, “I hope I can help you. Please don’t feel like you have to use my answers if I don’t give you exactly what you need.” An hour after the interview was over, he emailed me a note to thank me for my time.

Moments of Truth

I asked Chip to talk about tough times in Grizzard’s very long history of exemplary client relationships. He shared one particularly poignant story.

“We made a big mistake once. Our client had big media plan that coincided with our direct mail drop. Because of our mistake, the mail arrived in homes before the big media push. In the client’s mind, this hurt results. He called and said, ‘This is very disappointing. We’ve done all this planning and you’ve let us down.’ I asked him what would make him feel like we addressed the situation to his satisfaction. He said, ‘I don’t think we should pay for this mailing.’

“There was a fair amount of money at stake. Right away, I said, ‘No problem, done.’ As painful as it was, it was the right thing to do. Ten years later, he’s still a client, despite having moved around to different organizations and locations. And every time I see him—every time—he says, ‘Do you remember when we had the problem with that mail drop and you took care of it?’ It had a huge impact on him, and he became a lifelong client as a result.”

Creating a Culture of Trust

Grizzard was recently named “Top Workplaces 2011” in Atlanta. The evaluation for the program was based on feedback from a survey that 94% of Grizzard employees completed (exceeding the average company response of 55%). This top honor is a direct result of the honest feedback in a number of areas related to Grizzard’s culture, such as organizational values, strategic vision, leadership, operations, pay and benefits and overall work environment and experience.

I asked Chip to share any advice he has for executives who are trying to create a culture of trust in their organizations. His response boiled down to one thing: being a strong role model. And from Chip’s perspective, it starts with him.

A Matter of Personal Integrity

“I never send a mixed signal related to integrity; my staff never sees me do it one way this way this time and another way another other time. Some people try to play both sides of the fence—to turn on the relationship charm and do the right thing at some points. But it’s not a part-time thing. You have to live it every day. It has to be real. And it’s not just a business thing.

“I just came back from a client conference where I saw people doing great things with clients during the day and crazy stuff at night with colleagues. Even if clients don’t see that, well, then your co-workers doubt your character. You can’t turn it on and off. You have to be consistent all the time—in your personal life, your social life, your professional life. I talk to my staff when I see them doing things outside of work that leave me concerned. Integrity applies to all aspects of your life.”

Teachable Moments

Chip made mention of a discussion his leaders were having during the program I led on Trust-Based Selling for Grizzard. The question on the table was, are there ever times when you shouldn’t tell a client the whole truth? Chip was in the room at the time (role modeling that he, too, had things to learn and it was worth his time to spend two days in a classroom). He reminded me what he said that day.

“My answer to that was simple: If you’re expending any energy on the debate, then it probably means you already have your answer about whether or not it crosses the line. I said it that day in front of all 35 of my leaders in the room, and since then I’ve heard two people repeating the same thing when talking to their staff. Teaching moments are key to living our values and our culture. They start with me.”

Recovering from Mistakes

I asked Chip what happens when he makes a mistake. Here’s what he said:

“I hope I’m not making a lot of integrity mistakes. I might make mistakes on how we’ve resolved a particular situation. In that case, I look back and acknowledge it, and apologize if necessary. I own it, try to explain it, and try to rebuild the relationship. I put in the time, the work, and the commitment to turning a situation around.”

Going the Distance

Chip is not only a leader with an impressive track record; he’s also an endurance athlete with a long list of sports accomplishments. Chip has competed in over 100 triathlons, including the Hawaii Ironman and Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon. I asked him what connections he saw between his athletic efforts and his success as a leader. His answer was inspiring:

“It’s very easy to not want to get up at 4 a.m. and go workout sometimes. If I stay up too late and do something dumb and I’m in the middle of training for an event, well, I get my butt out of bed and go suffer (laughing). On the endurance sports side, my work ethic and my passion make a difference for me. The same is true on the business side.”

May we all have the wisdom and tenacity to walk a mile—or run 26.2—in Chip Grizzard’s shoes.

Connect with Chip Grizzard on Twitter and LinkedIn.

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This is the first blog in a series on Real People, Real Trust—an insider view into the challenges, successes, and make-it-or-break-it moments of people from all corners of the world who are walking the talk of a Trusted Advisor. Know someone you’d like to nominate to be featured in our next article? Email Andrea Howe.

The Five Essential Trust Skills: Don’t Leave Home Without Them

March 30, 2011 in Consulting on the Edge, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

The Five Essential Trust Skills: Don’t Leave Home Without Them can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

A competency model won’t answer the mail when it comes to building trustworthiness—in fact, there’s risk in attempting to reduce trust to a series of behavioral definitions. At the same time, there is value in culling down the essential skills of a Trusted Advisor to a practical number.

I narrow it down to the following five: Listen, Improvise, Risk, Partner, and Know Yourself.

Common Denominators

The five essential skills share important characteristics:

They appear elementary—easily dismissed as too basic to merit our attention. (“I’ve been in sales for 20 years; I know how to listen by now!”) They’re deceptive that way.

They’re capabilities you can practice, and should practice over and over again. The five essential skills are to a Trusted Advisor what scales are to a maestro.

They’re inextricably linked. Improvisation requires risk, partnering requires listening, and all of them require knowing yourself well to be effective.

Essential Skills, Defined


There’s a lot to be said for simplicity, hence–five and only five. (Interestingly, Steve Arneson, formerly head of leadership development at Capital One, AOL, Time Warner Cable, and a division of PepsiCo, agrees in principle; he advocates for eight—not 67—essential competencies for leadership.)

Here are the five essential skills of a Trusted Advisor:

Listen. Every day, garden-variety listening—which is what most leadership development, consulting skills, and sales training programs teach—is listening with a purpose, and usually that purpose is self-oriented: to sell, to convince, to get smarter, to buy time. By contrast, the kind of listening that engenders trust—deep trust—is not purpose-driven listening to identify needs or to mine for data you may extract to justify the pitch/sell/recommendation/opinion you have to deliver. It is, instead, empathetic listening where the focus is actually on the act of listening itself.

Improvise. The business world is rife with the unexpected including tricky client situations and other uncomfortable and awkward moments that occur at the worst possible time. Let’s call these Moments of Truth. And in these moments, the skill of improvising—inventing, composing, or performing with little or no preparation—is precisely what you need. Improvisation is relevant to any would-be Trusted Advisor because Moments of Truth are inevitable and how you handle them says a lot about who you are.

Risk. There is no trust without risk. Certainly no deep trust. Yet most of us worry about doing something that feels risky—like speaking a hard truth or sharing something personal—because we don’t think we have enough trust in the relationship for that risk to be tolerated. The irony is it’s the very act of taking those risks that creates trust.

Partner. Look up “partner” in the dictionary and you’ll see “either of two persons dancing together” in the definition. The dancing metaphor is perfect for Trusted Advisor relationships. It conjures up images of give and take, synchronization, graceful movement, and being in tune and in step with one another.

Know Yourself. Introspection is the hallmark of a Trusted Advisor. Introspection doesn’t imply narcissism or self-obsession. In fact, the more self-aware you are, the lower your self-orientation tends to be. To “know yourself” is to have a full and complete inventory of your weaknesses, triggers, and hot buttons, as well as your strengths, interests, and sources of passion and purpose. Knowing yourself is about achieving a level of self-awareness that is required for good self-management—a leadership competency rightly elevated in status in the last decade thanks to Daniel Goleman, and re-emphasized in a recent study by Green Peak Partners and Cornell University.

That’s my take. What’s yours?

To Tell or Not To Tell: The Three-Question Transparency Test

February 16, 2011 in Consulting on the Edge, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

To Tell or Not To Tell: The Three-Question Transparency Test can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

We’ve all had those moments when we realized we knew something that someone else didn’t know and it was awkward. Think of the last time you were at lunch and you noticed your tablemate’s big, toothy grin adorned by a piece of big, leafy spinach—yep, that’s the kind of awkward we’re talking about. Even though most of us probably ascribe to a principle of Transparency—being honest, open, candid except when illegal or injurious to others—we’ve all made the choice at some point to say nothing.

The question is: did we do the right thing?

Use the Three Question Transparency Test to find out.

When a Lie by Omission Seems Like a Pretty Good Option

On the surface, it’s easy to say “Honesty’s the best policy!” Dig a little deeper and it’s not so clear.

Let’s look at some client examples to make this real—cases where you know something that he or she doesn’t (or might not), and you wonder “to tell or not to tell?”

  • Imagine you’ve discovered a mistake in your work. The impact is relatively minor. Does it help or hurt the customer relationship to call attention to it?
  • Or…you’ve discovered a mistake in your client’s work. The impact is significant. So is the likelihood of embarrassment (or worse) for them. Are you honoring or dishonoring the relationship by saying nothing?
  • What if you learn something unfavorable about a competitor—one your customer is currently engaged with. Are you the hero or the jerk if you bring it up?
  • And—maybe the worst of all—what do you do when you notice your client has spinach in her teeth?

End the Debate with the Three-Question Transparency Test

The next time you’re debating “to tell or not to tell,” ask yourself three questions:

  1. Is my reason for not telling actually for my benefit, rather than theirs? Let’s face it: we human beings have a natural tendency to avoid scary, uncomfortable stuff—and that includes not telling things when telling is precisely what will honor the relationship. Is it really in the other person’s best interest to say nothing or is your desire to avoid your own discomfort creating a platform for a nice, juicy rationalization?
  2. If I don’t tell and he finds out later, will he feel misled? This question invites you to see the situation from the other person’s vantage point—always a good practice when it comes to relationship-building. (By the way, if you’re banking on the fact that he won’t find out later, check your probabilities…and your motives.)
  3. Would I tell her if she were my friend? This is my favorite question because it really cuts to the chase and invites us to set aside the arms-length decorum (often masked as “professionalism”) that defines most business relationships.

If at any point your answer is yes, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Say what needs to be said (with compassion and diplomacy, of course – caveats help immensely.)

An Even Simpler Test

If three questions seem like too many, here’s the ultimate litmus test. Thanks go to Chip Grizzard, CEO of Grizzard Communications Group, who recently shared these words of wisdom. Chip says, “If you’re expending any energy on the debate, then it probably means you should say something.”

It doesn’t get much simpler than that.

In Theory and In Practice

While the principle of Transparency sounds good in theory, it’s actually very hard to live by. It takes courage. It takes a willingness to get comfortable being uncomfortable. It takes a commitment to removing yourself from the equation. And it takes a certain level of discernment to figure out when it’s hurting versus helping to sidestep the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Use the Three-Question Transparency Test—or the simpler “Grizzard Gut Check”—the next time you wonder whether to tell or not to tell.

Accelerating Trust: Woo Woo before you Do Do (Part II)

December 21, 2010 in Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

Accelerating Trust: Woo Woo before you Do Do (Part II) can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

Last week in Part I, I proposed a simple three-step approach to building trust quickly. I addressed the first two steps, which I suggested are the most important and least practiced (because they seem a little woo woo). Here’s the CliffsNotestm version:

1. Mind your mindset. Take stock of the stories you’re carrying in your head—about trust-building, about the people you’re meeting with, about yourself. Be vigilant. Bust the myths.

2. Set your intentions carefully. Be committed, not attached, to a specific outcome. Give people the psychic freedom to choose. Be someone around from whom they experience freedom, not pressure.

Today brings the next and last step:

3. Prove you’re trustworthy. Take action. Show ‘em who you are, and who you aren’t. This is the step where the pragmatic, concrete, achievement-driven parts of us get to breathe a sigh of relief.

How do you prove it? Here’s a list, based on Chapter 22 of “The Trusted Advisor” which identifies the highest impact and fastest payback things you can do to build trust. I’ve organized it by the four variables of the Trust Equation and zero-ed in on actions that requiremoments, maybe hours, but certainly not days or months:

0001jC

Credibility

  • Show you’ve done your homework
  • Take a point of view
  • Speak the truth, including ‘I don’t know’
  • Answer direct questions with direct answers
  • Express your passion for your subject
  • Combine your words with presence

Reliability

  • Make small promises and consistently follow through
  • Be on time
  • Use their terminology
  • Dress appropriately

Intimacy

  • Be willing to name the proverbial elephant in the room
  • Listen with empathy
  • Tell your client something you appreciate about him or her
  • Address your client by name
  • “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” — (a quote from “Trust-Based Selling”)

Self-Orientation

  • Build a shared agenda
  • Practice ‘thinking out loud’ with your client
  • Give away ideas
  • Steer clear of “premature solutions” (courtesy of Neil Rackham, author of SPIN Selling)
  • Ask great questions, from a place of curiosity.

Remember that according to our research, trustworthiness requires good ‘scores’ on all four variables in the equation. Choose a combination of actions, based on your audience and your own strengths and weaknesses. And don’t forget Steps 1 and 2—the woo woo before you do do—because the choices you make and the impact you have in the realm of doing are directly tied to your mindsets and intentions.

Think trust takes time? Think again. Unlearning our old ways of being in relationships with others takes time. Trust—not so much.

Accelerating Trust: Woo Woo before you Do Do (Part I)

December 13, 2010 in Consulting on the Edge, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

Accelerating Trust: Woo Woo before you Do Do (Part I) post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

When I lead our Being a Trusted Advisor and Trust-Based Selling programs, I ask participants early on what’s the “one big thing” they want to get out of their participation. Invariably, at least a quarter of people in the room will say something along the lines of “tools for accelerating trust-building.” And those who don’t say it usually vigorously nod their heads in agreement.

How to build trust quickly boils down to a simple three-step approach. Today I’ll tackle the first two steps—arguably the most important and least practiced.

  1. Mind your mindset. What are the stories you’re carrying in your head—about trust-building, about the people you’re meeting with, about yourself? Take stock. Be vigilant. Bust the myths. If you assume trust will take time, you’ll miss opportunities that are right in front of you (See Top Trust Myths: 1 of 2: Trust Takes Time) . If you assume it’s going to be difficult to bond quickly with your prospective client, well, you’re probably right. Being trustworthy is as much about attitude as it is about skill.
  2. Set your intentions carefully. Be committed, not attached, to a specific outcome. Let go. If you’re meeting a prospective client for the first time, you can be certain of the strengths of your offering while at the same time realizing that it may not be the best solution for her/him right now. If you’re taking over an account for your colleague, you can be confident in your abilities while also being open to the possibility that you’re not the right replacement. Attachment equates to high Self-Orientation, and I can’t think of a better way to lower or destroy trust quickly; it’s the obvious opposite of rapid trust creation. On the other hand, giving people the psychic freedom to choose increases trust. Be someone around whom they experience freedom, not pressure.

Here’s why Steps 1 and 2 usually get short-shrifted: they seem a little woo woo. You may be tempted to skip them in favor of something more concrete and action-oriented. It’s a common trap; don’t fall into it.

These steps are woo woo in the sense that they are more about being than doing. And it’s precisely the kind of self-work required to alter who you’re being that makes the difference between a good consultant and an extraordinary consultant, a so-so salesperson and a longstanding member of the President’s Club, and an average advisor and a Trusted Advisor.  (The woo-woo thing has some pretty solid science behind it too–thought drives actions which then result in outcomes. You can be scientific and believe this too).

Sure, the doing part matters—we’ll look at practical ways to accelerate trust in Part II of this blog—it’s just that the choices we make and impact we have in the realm of doing are directly tied to our mindsets and intentions. Lead with the woo woo and you’ll go beyond “good,” “so-so,” and “average” in a very short time frame.

Click here to read Part II of this 3-step system.

Are you Tuned In or Tuned Out?

November 2, 2010 in Improv, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

In our August blog, I made some bold statements about the transformational nature of impov comedy. Here’s a recap of what I said:

“In the nearly 20 years I’ve been working with groups, it is, without a doubt, most transformational team building experience I’ve ever witnessed. It’s much easier than ropes courses. It’s more immediately impactful than personality typing. It gets you out of your head and into the more creative parts of your brain—in an instant. Plus it just plain feels good to just plain laugh with your co-workers. And what could be better than laughing while advancing your business goals?”

I also offered a simple exercise you can start using with your team today called “Yes, but …” or “Yes, and …”?.

listen_3Here’s another one that’s just as quick, painless, valuable, and fun. It’s called “Tuned in or tuned out?”

What to do: Divide people into pairs. Have them introduce themselves to each other, conduct a short conversation, and find three things they have in common (3 minutes). Then, direct them to turn their backs on each other and remain silent. During the silence, the leader/facilitator asks group members increasingly difficult questions about how much they noticed about their partner, such as: “What color are their eyes? Their pants/skirt? Their shoes?”

The learning: Listening is the key to teamwork, and listening extends beyond words and even tone of voice and body language. Masterful listening requires us to pay attention to others on multiple levels.

Tip: Repeat the exercise another time with the same group (later in the day, week, or month) as a way of practicing the art of noticing.

Think of “Tuned in or tuned out?” as another essential practice for earning your team a standing ovation. While you’re getting good at noticing, others will be noticing you.

Are You as Credible as You Think? Probably Not.

October 12, 2010 in Consulting on the Edge, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

Are You as Credible as You Think? Probably Not post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

There are lots of ways to build trust with others (four, by our count) and Credibility is a big one. In our Trust Quotient research, Credibility shows up as second only to Reliability as the most favored way to build trust. (’Most favored’ doesn’t mean ‘most effective,’ but that’s another blog, another day.)

This makes sense, given the emphasis that most business people naturally place on increasing trustworthiness by demonstrating credentials, experience, and know-how.

The risk is that we stop there or—even worse—spend too much time there. Picture the March of 1,000 Slides.

There’s more to Credibility than meets the eye.

Three Dimensions of Credibility

When thinking Credibility, we mostly think words, as in what you say and how you say it. That means that having information, perspectives, opinions, and recommendations are all important—especially for people in professional services whose very existence depends on high quality advice-giving.

But there’s more. Speaking the truth matters too. A lot. As does delivering your message in a way that makes it easy for others to understand and relate to.

Top Ten List of Ways to Build Credibility

Here’s a Top 10 list of tried-and-true Credibility builders, categorized by Credibility’s three main dimensions.

Feature your expertise and credentials:

1.    Be diligent about researching your customer;

2.    Know about industry trends and information, as well as business news;

3.    Write about your areas of expertise—articles, blogs, white papers;

4.    Host events that bring key stakeholders together.

Improve your delivery:

5.    Use metaphors and stories to illustrate your point;

6.    Practice your delivery so you are clear … and clearly relaxed;

7.    Combine your words with presence—a firm handshake, eye contact (when culturally appropriate), a confident air.

Demonstrate your truthfulness:

8.    Offer your point of view when you have one;

9.    Respond to direct questions with direct answers;

10.   Be willing to tell a hard truth when it’s the right thing to do—including “I don’t know.”

And as a bonus:

11.   Never ever lie. (This includes tiny little white lies and lies by omission.)

This last category, truthfulness, gets at one of the paradoxes of trustworthiness: The thing we’re most afraid to say is often what will build the most trust.

By the way, our clients tell us the truth-telling part pretty much applies to all cultures. Even in Asian countries, where saving face is paramount, the Trusted Advisor’s dilemma is generally less about whether to tell the truth and more about how to deliver the truth in a respectful and culturally-appropriate way.

Credibility-Building Can Happen Lightning Fast

This expanded view of Credibility is good news for anyone new to a profession or new to a relationship. This part of trust–building your Credibility–doesn’t have to take time; being refreshingly honest can build trust in an instant.

Most clients and customers are so used to spin they will immediately take note. So you can actually leave the PowerPoint deck back at the office (or bring it as a leave-behind) and focus on engaging in a genuine, transparent, and honest conversation. Heck, you might even build some Intimacy in the process.

Take Stock and Take Action

Feeling stuck in a particular relationship? Do a credibility check. Start with the honesty dimension—it’s the least comfortable and highest payback. Ask yourself what you’re thinking and not saying, or saying to some but not to all.

Then do something about it. You’ll be glad you did.

Moments of Truth, Improvised

September 14, 2010 in BossaNova Recommends, Improv, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

Moments of Truth, Improvised post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

Anyone who’s been in professional services for more than a week has probably encountered a tricky client situation or two. Some examples:

  • A prospective client asks you point blank, “What experience do you have in xyz industry?” and even though you saw that question coming, you didn’t think it would be quite so direct, and the honest answer is zero, zip, nada—only you’re afraid to say so because you think it’s a deal-breaker and you’ve got other relevant experience that surely they’ll want to hear about before summarily dismissing you!
  • You thought the draft deliverable you turned in yesterday was pretty good until you got an email from your client saying how disappointed she is in the product and that, quite frankly, she’s seriously re-considering sending you to London for the next and largest revenue-producing phase of the project.
  • You’re seconds away from beginning a meeting with a very senior client, originally scheduled to discuss how to expand the successful work you’re doing together, but an hour earlier you accidentally overheard him in the lunchroom speaking with colleagues about dumping your company and hiring your number one competitor instead.

(By the way: 2 of those 3 really happened to us: which is the made-up story?)

I call these Moments of Truth—when something happens, and suddenly it feels like you’re alone on a sinking ship with no life preserver in sight, and you’d rather be anywhere but where you are.

Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ,” taught us to understand the science behind our reaction, using the phrase “amygdala hijack” to describe how our well-functioning “thinking brain” (the neocortex) gets completely overruled by the part of the brain that manages our survival. Then our amygdala-threatened-selves do stupid things like spin a great story of how we don’t exactly have direct experience in xyz industry but blah blah blah … or subtly (and maybe overtly) blame our colleague for the sub-par work product … or completely sidestep an awkward interaction altogether in favor of maintaining the pretense that everything really is OK after all. In other words: we’re in fight or flight mode, and often both at once.

Moments of Truth become Moments of Learning

We spend a lot of time dealing with Moments of Truth in our learning programs because they happen a lot in your business relationships. How you handle them speaks volumes about what you’re made of. It speaks to whether or not you have the mindset, motives, and agility of a Trusted Advisor. Being effective in a Moment of Truth requires more than mastering a few behavioral tricks; it demands a new way of thinking and being.

So we do a lot of out-of-the-box experiential learning that deals on the spot with your own live, real situations. Occasionally we use our own caselets for you to experiment with—ones that have been tested for a decade and earned a special place in the hearts of our alumni, like “The Lunchroom.” In other words, we do what most classroom learners universally dread: we role-play.

All right, collective groan–I know, I know, I hate role-playing too. It’s scary and contrived. And there’s never enough background or history or facts to be really comfortable in a role-play. It’s a common refrain during debriefs: “If only I’d known more about the situation I could have handled it better.”

But let’s be real: How many times have you prepped for hours for a meeting, only to learn in the first two minutes that the client just came out of another meeting in which a major decision was made that completely alters not only your agenda for this meeting but your entire set of recommendations for the engagement?

In a Moment of Truth, background and history and facts don’t matter one iota because your reptilian brain doesn’t care—it’s focused exclusively on the emotions of the moment. It has neither the time nor the inclination to process anything else.

Q. Faced with an MOT, what’s a Trusted Advisor to do?

A. Learn how to improvise.

The Practice of Improvisation: a Key Trusted Advisor Capability

To improvise is to “invent, compose, or perform with little or no preparation.” Which is exactly what is called for in a Moment of Truth—the ability to deal on the spot with something unexpected.

Believe it or not, you get better at improvising by practicing improvisation. (And that only sounds like an oxymoron—it’s actually very true). Practice is exactly how professional improv comedians (think, Whose Line is it, Anyway?) become so skilled at their craft.

They practice being quick to respond instead of over-thinking. They practice “yes-and” responses, where they build on what’s already been said, instead of contradicting or denying what someone else has already offered. They practice subordinating their own egos to support what’s being created by the collective instead of hogging the spotlight and stealing a scene. They practice giving up being clever and witty and funny and insteadget real.

How do they do this? They get together and … role-play. They do it again and again, always with new scenarios and relationships that are completely made up on the spot. And when it’s show time and the curtain goes up, they still have no idea what they’re going to create together because everything is based on audience suggestion. But what they do know is that they’re fully rehearsed at being responsive, collaborative, and authentic.

In Trusted Advisor terms, they’re credible, transparent, other-oriented, related.

And that is something worth practicing to get good at. So: role-plays? Yep, role-plays.

The Trusted Advisor/Improviser—a Brief Commercial

If you think your skills could use a tune up or you wish you felt more confident in the Moments of Truth you face with your clients and colleagues, we’d love to have you come practice with us Sept 28 and 29 in Washington, DC. Being a Trusted Advisor: Walking the Talk is a rare opportunity to immerse yourself in the mindsets and skill sets of a Trusted Advisor.

We’ll improvise. We’ll laugh a lot. And we’ll be sure you walk away with far greater value than you expected.

A Little Generosity Goes a Long Way: How a Small Kindness Can Have a Big Impact

August 25, 2010 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

A Little Generosity Goes a Long Way: How a Small Kindness Can Have a Big Impact post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

Story 1: Parking in a Premium Demand Zone
Washington DC, where I live, has recently begun upgrading its street parking system. Many of our old coin-operated “single-space” meters have been replaced with “multi-space” meters that take credit cards as well as coins. If you’ve never encountered a “multi-space” meter, it’s a one-machine-for-a-whole-city-block kind of thing. When you pay, you pay for however much time you want and you are rewarded with a little white slip of paper that goes on your dashboard, telling the ever-industrious meter monitors when they can write you a ticket.
While I do appreciate the convenience of paying by debit or credit card (that is, when the card reader works), I hate the fact that any unused time goes wasted—or more accurately, I hate that it goes to the City. You see, if I come back earlier than expected, there’s no meter to be left behind with time remaining for the lucky next-parker; there’s just a slip of paper that drives away with me. Gone are the days of collaborating with my fellow citizens to share the burden, and beat the City at their parking meter game. (I know, I know, I should Metro more.)
Just last week I returned to my car 47 minutes earlier than expected. Being the mature adult that I am, I couldn’t bear the thought of giving away those 47 minutes to the City (particularly in light of what I paid to be in a “premium demand zone”), so I waited and offered it to a couple who pulled into a space a few cars behind me.
You would think I had handed them a check for $1,000. They were nearly giddy with excitement and effusive with their thanks.
I walked away with a little spring in my step—I beat the system and did a good deed, all in one fell swoop.
Story 2: Thirteen for the Price of Ten
Later that very same day, I was at my local FedEx Office picking up a print job for a client meeting. While waiting in line, I spied these really cool new plastic document holders—the perfect organizers for my documents and a nice change from the usual two-pocket folder deal. The only problem was there weren’t enough on the shelf to meet my needs. When I asked the clerk if there were more, he nicely said no. Then his manager chimed in and suggested we take a look at another shelf together to see what we could find. Et voila, there they were in another color, just one short. I said I could make do, no problem, and the manager offered to give me an extra one in a different color to make up for their lack of inventory. Then when she rung me up, she charged me for two fewer still. Each document holder was worth $1.29. She saved me a total of $3.87.
You would think she had handed me a check for $1,000. The gesture was grand, even if the dollar value was not.
And I walked away with a little spring in my step—what a nice, helpful lady!
The Moral of the Stories
It was fascinating to be on the receiving end of a small kindness so soon after I had offered one. Both experiences taught me a big lesson.
We talk a lot about the difference generosity makes here at Trusted Advisor Associates. “Selling by doing” offers a gift without expectation of return, among other things (see Selling by Doing Not Selling by Telling for the complete picture) and reciprocity–the tendency to return a favor—is the number one factor of influence. In fact, people who walk the talk of a Trusted Advisor tend to view life from a context of abundance and are always looking for ways to genuinely be of service.
What I didn’t realize until now is how little a kindness can be and still have a huge impact. 47 minutes. $3.87. A few extra copies of a book. A call returned at lightning speed in the midst of a busy day. An offer to spend a little time reviewing a document … with no meter running. Small things send a signal about our intentions, and help us keep our motives clean. If we’re only in it for big, we’re not in it for real. If we’re willing to be generous in all moments, including the little ones, it becomes a way of life. And the paradox is, of course, that if we’re willing to let go of hitting it big, we usually ultimately do.
I’ll remember this next time I’m tempted to take no action because I think it’s not worth my effort or not grand enough to matter. When it comes to generosity, a little goes a long way.

Life seems to happen to me in twos. A few weeks ago I blogged about A Cautionary Tale for Marketers based on two stories—a “don’t do this” story and a “do do this” story. Today’s blog is two-fer of a slightly different type: two stories, both illustrating what a difference a small kindness can make.

Story 1: Parking in a Premium Demand Zone

Washington DC, where I live, has recently begun upgrading its street parking system. Many of our old coin-operated “single-space” meters have been replaced with “multi-space” meters that take credit cards as well as coins. If you’ve never encountered a “multi-space” meter, it’s a one-machine-for-a-whole-city-block kind of thing. When you pay, you pay for however much time you want and you are rewarded with a little white slip of paper that goes on your dashboard, telling the ever-industrious meter monitors when they can write you a ticket.

While I do appreciate the convenience of paying by debit or credit card (that is, when the card reader works), I hate the fact that any unused time goes wasted—or more accurately, I hate that it goes to the City. You see, if I come back earlier than expected, there’s no meter to be left behind with time remaining for the lucky next-parker; there’s just a slip of paper that drives away with me. Gone are the days of collaborating with my fellow citizens to share the burden, and beat the City at their parking meter game. (I know, I know, I should Metro more.)

Just last week I returned to my car 47 minutes earlier than expected. Being the mature adult that I am, I couldn’t bear the thought of giving away those 47 minutes to the City (particularly in light of what I paid to be in a “premium demand zone”), so I waited and offered it to a couple who pulled into a space a few cars behind me.

You would think I had handed them a check for $1,000. They were nearly giddy with excitement and effusive with their thanks.

I walked away with a little spring in my step—I beat the system and did a good deed, all in one fell swoop.

Story 2: Thirteen for the Price of Ten

Later that very same day, I was at my local FedEx Office picking up a print job for a client meeting. While waiting in line, I spied these really cool new plastic document holders—the perfect organizers for my documents and a nice change from the usual two-pocket folder deal. The only problem was there weren’t enough on the shelf to meet my needs. When I asked the clerk if there were more, he nicely said no. Then his manager chimed in and suggested we take a look at another shelf together to see what we could find. Et voila, there they were in another color, just one short. I said I could make do, no problem, and the manager offered to give me an extra one in a different color to make up for their lack of inventory. Then when she rung me up, she charged me for two fewer still. Each document holder was worth $1.29. She saved me a total of $3.87.

You would think she had handed me a check for $1,000. The gesture was grand, even if the dollar value was not.

And I walked away with a little spring in my step—what a nice, helpful lady!

The Moral of the Stories

It was fascinating to be on the receiving end of a small kindness so soon after I had offered one. Both experiences taught me a big lesson.

We talk a lot about the difference generosity makes here at Trusted Advisor Associates. “Selling by doing” offers a gift without expectation of return, among other things (see Selling by Doing Not Selling by Telling for the complete picture) and reciprocity–the tendency to return a favor—is the number one factor of influence. In fact, people who walk the talk of a Trusted Advisor tend to view life from a context of abundance and are always looking for ways to genuinely be of service.

What I didn’t realize until now is how little a kindness can be and still have a huge impact. 47 minutes. $3.87. A few extra copies of a book. A call returned at lightning speed in the midst of a busy day. An offer to spend a little time reviewing a document … with no meter running. Small things send a signal about our intentions, and help us keep our motives clean. If we’re only in it for big, we’re not in it for real. If we’re willing to be generous in all moments, including the little ones, it becomes a way of life. And the paradox is, of course, that if we’re willing to let go of hitting it big, we usually ultimately do.

I’ll remember this next time I’m tempted to take no action because I think it’s not worth my effort or not grand enough to matter. When it comes to generosity, a little goes a long way.

Improv-ing Teamwork: “Yes, but …” or “Yes, and …”?

August 19, 2010 in Improv, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

In the nearly 20 years I’ve been working with groups, improv comedy is, without a doubt, the most transformational team building experience I’ve ever witnessed. It’s much easier than ropes courses. It’s more immediately impactful than personality typing. It gets you out of your head and into the more creative parts of your brain—in an instant. Plus it just plain feels good to just plain laugh with your co-workers. And what could be better than laughing while advancing your business goals?

The true test of your ability to get the job done is when you’re working off script. How skilled is your team at dealing with the unexpected or innovating on the spot?

The reality is the skill of improvisation is something we can all hone, all the time. Here’s a simple exercise you can start using with your team today. It’s called “Yes, but …” or “Yes, and …”? It’s quick, painless, valuable, and fun.

What to do: Divide the group in half, giving them the task of planning a company party, where one half always says, “Yes, and …” after each team member suggestion and the other half always says, “Yes, but …” (5 minutes). In the debriefing, discuss who was most successful in the short time period and why.

The learning: Even at a basic level, finding common ground with your colleagues is important. An antagonistic relationship benefits no one and the judgment of a “Yes, but …” stifles team members.

Collaboration, creativity, and results grow out of an environment that is positive and affirming.

Tip: Stand in a circle and use “Yes, and …” every time you want to re-energize your brainstorming. Be consistent and persistent with it.

Think of “Yes, but …” or “Yes, and …” as an essential practice for earning your team a standing ovation. Ways to vary it and incorporate it into your day-to-day practices include:

  • Start all your routine team meetings with a quick round of “Yes, and …”—all you need is one person to kick it off with a statement or idea. Team members will be alert and ready for “business as unusual.”
  • Use it as an after-lunch energizer during a team retreat.
  • Use it as reinforcement for key learning about creativity, listening, or collaboration during a training event.

And if none of these strike your fancy, say “Yes, and …” and create one that does.

See How It’s Done

Do you hear “improv comedy” and wonder how it works?

It’s a lot like the show, Whose Line is It, Anyway?, where short scenes are collaboratively created on-the-spot based on a suggestion from the audience. The laughs don’t come from clever lines or witty repartee; they naturally arise from the unexpected. In fact, that’s one of the best things about improv comedy: everyone can do it. There’s no theatrical training or funny bone required. That’s because we all improvise, every single day. Life is improvised.

The best way to really get it is to see it for yourself. Click here to watch our clients perform improv comedy with us. You’ll get a lift by watching them explore new ways or working—and laughing—together.

A Cautionary Tale for Marketers: Do’s and Don’t’s from the Perspective of the Marketed-To

July 20, 2010 in Consulting on the Edge, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

This post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

Story 1: Don’t Do This

I got one of those broadcast email solicitations from a very reputable organization that hosts executive roundtables. Brian (a stranger to me) wanted me to attend an informational meeting. To his credit, he “had me at hello” with the very first lines of his email, which were both personal and complimentary: “Andrea, let me first say I LOVE the name of your company and the genesis of it…the ‘new beat’ story. Outstanding!”

“Wow,” I thought, “He’s taken the time to find out about BossaNova and make a personal connection to me. He gets me! He likes me! I like this guy!”

What followed was a directive to “Read on” with a photo of a jubilant baseball team and the assertion that “There are lessons you learn in Baseball that can apply to business leaders like YOU once you understand their importance and their impact” (with a bulleted list of those very lessons). His call to action at the end of the email was aggressive and impersonal.

Brian had me right off the bat and lost me soon after. I have nothing against baseball—not at all. I’m just not much of a sports enthusiast and, truthfully, get tired of the male-oriented metaphors. Brian’s very personal appeal followed by his very impersonal (and misaligned) form letter was a particularly lethal combo. Now, not only am I a “no” for the information session I was invited to, but I have an attitude about both Brian and his organization to boot. Three strikes, you’re out.

Story 2: An Approach to Emulate

A few weeks ago I was surprised by a knock at the door—an unexpected delivery of baked goods from a local sweet shop. The package included a hand-written note from Kacy, the office organizer I had hired exactly one year before. The sweets were to commemorate my first anniversary in my new home office, with a reminder that she was available should any lingering piles be in my way, and a request to tell others about her services if I was so inclined.

I immediately logged onto Facebook (well, by “immediately” I mean right after I had a cookie) and posted kudos for Kacy, along with a link to her web site. I sent her an email to thank her for the unexpected treat, alert her to the free Facebook advertising, and acknowledge her for the lesson in great marketing. She wrote me right back to thank me, saying, “I’m so glad you like them! I never know if someone’s going to be out of town or unavailable, but it always works out. In my client list, I have a column where I note the dates of our last sessions. Once a month or so I run through those and send the goodies out!”

The sweets hit the sweet spot, for sure, far more so than being hit over the head with a baseball bat. Maybe Kacy got lucky with her choice. Although it seems to me she could have sent me anything (even one of those giant foam fingers) and the good feelings from the unexpected personal acknowledgement would have prevailed.

A Plea to Marketers

The two anecdotes aren’t apples to apples—different relationship histories, different communication media, different calls to action. That said, I find them both illuminating.

To all marketers out there (including myself), here’s my plea:

  • DO make it personal
  • DON’T use a personal tactic to get someone’s attention and then switch to a more generic approach
  • DO find creative ways to appreciate the people who have given you business in the past
  • DO use the element of surprise
  • DON’T be afraid to ask for more work or for referrals.

The moral of the stories: Intimacy is a powerful tool in business. Use it wisely, especially with strangers. Mix it in with a little unexpected generosity and you’ll hit a home run.

Does This Make My “S” Look Big? True Customer Focus

May 20, 2010 in Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

This post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

I’ve led dozens of learning programs on being a Trusted Advisor.  One thing I’ve learned: without a doubt, the most popular element of the Trust Equation is Self-Orientation.

By “popular,” I mean it’s the one most people identify as a huge opportunity for improvement. Which makes sense, since it’s deliberately placed in the denominator to highlight its ubiquitousness.

Simply defined, self-orientation is about focus. If someone says about you, “I trust that she cares about _______” and fills in the blank with something that relates to them, then your “S” is little. And that’s good.  (“I trust that she cares about how this project will impact my career”; “I trust that she cares about what’s best for the team”; “I trust that she cares about our reputation.”)

Alternatively, if the words that complete the sentence relate to you in any way shape, or form, then you’ve officially got a Big “S.” And that’s bad.

We all know the stereotypical used car salesman – a classic “Big S” caricature. He’s disingenuous, in it for himself, armed and ready with manipulative tactics to get you to do what he wants. As I’ve come to better understand what “S” is all about, I’ve come to appreciate its subtlety. In reality, self-orientation sneaks into our interactions with others in more insidious ways. This means keeping it small can be challenging.

Think of self-orientation as referring to two levels of focus: results and needs.

High Self-Orientation Level 1: Results

Most of us are pretty clear about the results dimension–the more obvious of the two. We generally know what we should be doing to be other-focused in this regard. “Little S” strategies include:

asking lots and lots of questions from a place of curiosity to figure out what success really looks like

negotiating for true win-win,

doing the right thing, even if you’re incented otherwise. The latter includes the provocative notion of referring a client to a competitor if the competitor could do better for the customer.

“Big S” results behaviors (the bad ones, remember) include rushing to a solution, making a bad first deal, or “hoarding”—time, resources, ideas. “Gigantic S” equals stereotypical used car guy.

High Self-Orientation Level 2: Needs

The other dimension of self-orientation is needs.The question here is whether or not you’re focused on your needs–or on theirs.

For example:

-          Are you focused on your need to look smart (and so you invoke Death by PowerPoint … or simply talk a lot) or are you focused on their need to be heard (therefore you listen without distraction, even when it’s uncomfortable to be silent for what feels like a long time)?

-          Are you focused on your need to be liked (hence you avoid confrontation—sometimes or always) or their need to have all the data required to make good decisions (meaning you’re consistently willing to speak a hard truth if it’s necessary, even when it feels awkward to do it)?

-          Are you focused on your need to be the hero (so you subtly compete for attention or recognition) or are you focused on their need to feel confident (meaning you check your ego at the door and give them the credit)?

I chose these three examples because they’re the ones I struggle with the most. Even though my “S” scores on the Trust Quotient are actually pretty low, I’m well aware of my own quirks and foibles and I work every day to manage them—sometimes with greater success than others.

What Makes My “S” Look Big? Being Human

Self-orientation rears its ugly head most often when we feel some sort of fear—fear of looking bad, fear of rejection, fear of loss. All of these fears fall into the category of perfectly normal. And they’re what make your “S” look big.

What makes a difference is having the ego strength to see it, acknowledge it, to “get off your ‘S’,” and move on.   After all, obsessing about “Big S” mistakes is just more … “Big S.”

Ah, the joys of being human.

Old Faithful and Reliability

April 21, 2010 in Food for Thought, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

Old Faithful

This post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

Old Faithful is a geyser located in Yellowstone National Park, USA. It gets its name because it regularly shoots steam and water to great heights. In fact, with a margin of error of 10 minutes, Old Faithful will erupt either every 65 or every 91 minutes, depending on the length of the previous eruption. It’s been doing this since 1870.

While most of us who endeavor to be Trusted Advisors would probably prefer not to be associated with a “geyser” (myself included), there’s something we can all learn from this phenomenon of nature.

Reliability: The Good News/Bad News

Of the 12,000+ people who have completed our online Trust Quotient™ survey to date, Reliability comes out 16 percentage points higher than any of the other three elements of the Trust Equation. This isn’t really surprising, given that Reliability is the easiest to grasp and execute. Reliability is logical, concrete, and action-oriented.

The bad news is we’re not as good as we think.

Case in point: I’m always interested to see how participants in our programs handle the pre-work assignment we send via email a couple of weeks before the program begins. Responses are due to be emailed back within a week. It takes 10 – 20 minutes to complete the work. People generally fall into one of three categories:

  1. Turn it in late with no acknowledgment (slightly more than half)
  2. Never turn it in (some)
  3. Turn it in on time (very few)

So while Reliability seems like a “slam dunk” in the world of trustworthiness, there’s room for us all to improve. (And by the way, I am no exception, witness how I’ve been doing lately on my goal of writing one blog post per week.)

The Road to Being More Reliably Reliable

Generally, people experience you as reliable when:

You feel familiar to them. They’re at ease with you. They have a good sense of who you are and feel they know you. You use their terminology and templates. You establish routines in your relationships (regular meetings, emails, etc.). You dress appropriately.

You are consistent and predictable. People know what to expect from you, and they get it. You set expectations up front and report on them regularly. You are rigorous about using good business practices, such as meeting agenda and notes. You make lots of small promises and consistently follow through. They can count on you to be the same person at all times, and the same to all people.

You work to make sure there are no surprises when you’re around. You use others’ vocabulary and respect and reflect their norms and environment. You make sure that their expectations of you are consistent. You produce documentation of consistent quality and create deliverables with a consistent look and feel.

You do what you say you will do. You keep and deliver on your promises, and see keeping your word as a matter of personal integrity. When you are unable to fulfill on a promise, you immediately get in communication to acknowledge the impact and reset expectations.

Reliability is Reliability is Reliability

Here’s the rub: Consistency matters. If you apply these best practices more with your clients and less with, say, your Trusted Advisor instructor … then your reliability score suffers.

Perfection is not the goal here; impeccability is (See Impeccability vs. Perfection: Who’s Got Your Back?). There’s always room for error and for our humanity. When it comes to trust, what matters is being rigorously self-aware, transparent about our strengths and weaknesses, and willing to hold ourselves to higher and higher standards of execution.

Writing this post was one action I chose to boost my own Reliability today. What’s yours?

Impeccability vs. Perfection: Who’s Got Your Back?

April 14, 2010 in Food for Thought, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

This post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

At first glance, the difference between Impeccability and Perfection is slight.

Taking a closer look, they are very different characters, each with a profoundly different impact when it comes to building trust. Here’s the punch line, delivered by a recovering perfectionist:

Impeccability is your friend; Perfection is not.

A Character Study: Perfection vs. Impeccability

Let’s envision Perfection and Impeccability as two characters in a play.

In physical appearance, both are well-dressed. Perfection’s shirt is buttoned to the top; Impeccability’s open collar reveals a crisp, white T-shirt underneath. Perfection sits with his back rigidly straight; Impeccability assumes a relaxed yet confident stance. Perfection drums his fingers nervously on the table-top; Impeccability sits quietly.

As to their personalities: Where Perfection is determined with gritted teeth to always get it right, Impeccability is determined to be thorough and complete. Where Perfection endeavors to never make a mess, and experiences distress when the inevitable occurs, Impeccability recognizes that all humans make mistakes and chooses to see the inevitable as an opportunity to build trust. (see previous post: Why Mistakes Build Trust).

Perfection is controlling, stressed, and perpetually uptight; Impeccability is focused, at ease, his sense of perspective and humor intact at all times.

Perfection is often accompanied by Impatience, Judgment, and Frustration; Impeccability hangs out with Compassion, Confidence, and Self-Acceptance.

Impeccability vs. Perfection: One Level Deeper

Both Perfection and Impeccability are well-intended characters—striving to be the best they can be. Yet dig a little deeper and we see a key difference between the two: what’s driving them.

Perfection constantly feeds a need to satisfy something internal and self-oriented. Impeccability, on the other hand, is other-oriented at the core; his motivation is the satisfaction that comes with being of service and making a difference.

Even Perfection agrees that Impeccability is much more pleasant to be around. Impeccability is much easier to relate to. He endeavors to do his best and humbly accepts that he will fail at times. He cleans up his messes with transparency, swiftness, and an appropriate amount of lightheartedness. In doing so, he leaves room for others to be human.

Put yourself in your clients’ shoes. With whom would you rather spend your time?

Can You Train For Trust?

April 5, 2010 in Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

This post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog and was co-authored by Charles H. Green of Trusted Advisor Associates LLC.

Can you train for trust?

The question needs to be broken down; but the quick answer is — yes. Let’s talk about how. And then we want to invite you to experience it yourself.

Disclosure: this blog-post is part advertisement. Trusted Advisor Associates is offering an open enrollment Being a Trusted Advisor program  in New York, New York. Read on to find out more, or just click here to sign up.

Now, back to training for trust; let’s break it down.

How to Approach Training for Trust

1. Be clear what you’re teaching. There is training for trustworthiness, and there is training for trusting. They are not the same. It’s the combination of one’s trustworthiness and another’s propensity for trusting that creates trust. Trustworthiness can be learned and is a lower-risk proposition–focus your energy and resources here. (See Trust, Trusting and Trustworthiness)

2. Keep it simple. Break an amorphous, complex topic into bite-sized, digestible pieces. Use a few solid, core models of trust. We use the three Trust Models: the Trust Equation, the Trust Creation Process, and the Trust Principles.

3. Make it stick. Thought-provoking concepts are necessary…and far from sufficient. We recommend four specific learning techniques to make a lasting impact:

a. Generous use of anecdotes—stories have a way of conveying the paradoxes of trustworthiness better than any rigorous intellectual model;
b. Realistic cases—in particular, role-play exercises, cases and video vignettes;
c. Muscle Memory—there is no substitute for ‘feeling’ the techniques, with hands-on demonstrations by experienced trainers and a lot of experimentation by participants;
d. Ongoing application to current business situations—with instructors and coaches guiding you through it in real time, live ammunition, no safety net.

Above all else, trust is learned by doing. What action will you take today to increase your trustworthiness?

Back to the advertisement: Being a Trusted Advisor is being held in New York, New York, April 22-23, at the Columbia University Faculty House. This program develops the mindsets, skills, and day-to-day practices of a Trusted Advisor. It includes built-in reinforcement–a one-on-one coaching call for each participant–along with a personalized Trust Temperament(tm) and autographed copy of either “The Trusted Advisor” or “Trust-based Selling.” Click here to sign up.

We hope to see you in New York City!

Three Little Words

February 4, 2010 in Food for Thought, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

This post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

My mother always told me that bad luck comes in threes. At the risk of pushing my luck, I’m going to disagree with her–at least when it comes to trustworthiness. Here are three phrases, each three words long, that are an essential part of any Trusted Advisor toolkit: “That makes sense,” “Tell me more,” and “I don’t know.”

“That Makes Sense”

Charlie speaks this phrase all the time and it’s remarkably effective. I say “speaks,” rather than “uses,” because it’s not a tactic; it’s a genuine expression of empathy.

When said from the heart, “That makes sense” is an incredible intimacy-builder. It’s no accident it also happens to be what relationship guru Harville Hendrix teaches couples to practice saying with each other when working through tough personal issues. Simply put, it’s validating. In a business context, “that makes sense” is particularly disarming in response to an opposing viewpoint…or something you don’t really want to hear.

Note that saying “that makes sense” is not the same as saying “I agree.” With “that makes sense,” you’re simply looking at the world from the other person’s vantage point and seeing how things might be pieced together. And unless you’re speaking to someone whose mental faculties are completely compromised, I promise you things do make sense over there, and there’s a way to see it, somehow or another.

“I see you’re concerned about investing a lot of money and time without being sure of the return. That makes sense.”

“Sounds like it’s imperative to have the right executive sponsor in place before we move forward. That makes sense.”

“It makes sense to consider all the options before you decide which firm you want to hire.”

“Tell Me More”

“Tell me more” is a simple and elegant way to invite someone to share information with you. Distinct from a targeted, intellectually-impressive question, “tell me more” implies an absence of time pressure, agenda (as in motives), and a desire to show off. Its subtext: “The agenda is yours, my time is yours, and my focus is devoted to you, not me.” Its beauty is in its simplicity and its other-orientation.

“I Don’t Know”

I’ve been in and around the consulting industry for close to 20 years and know very few consultants who are comfortable not knowing an answer to a question (myself included). On the contrary, we’ve convinced ourselves that clients not only want answers, they want the right answers…right away.  (See The Point of Listening is Not What you Hear but the Listening Itself.) Which leads to a lot of well-intended bad behavior, like ever-so-slightly exaggerating what we do know in order to fill in the gaps.

The alternative is having the courage to say “I don’t know” when you don’t know–being forthright in a way that appropriately conveys your overall confidence (so high, in fact, that you’re OK to admit what might be perceived as a weakness) and your commitment to find the most accurate answer. As counter-intuitive as it may be, “I don’t know” actually builds credibility (and therefore your trustworthiness) because it shows you are honest. ( For more about how the things we want to say the least usually build the most trust, read Trust and Golf: How Neither Makes Sense).

The Proof

Of course, we could add “I love you” to the list of word triplets, but then things start to get a little too squishy. (Or do they?)

I’ll end with this instead: intimacy, other-orientation, and credibility increase trustworthiness. “That makes sense,” “Tell me more” and “I don’t know” improve your score on each. Therefore, three little words really can make you more trustworthy.

Quod erat demonstrandum.

P.S. By the way, with the new year upon us and so many of the usual resolutions already long-forgotten, it’s worth checking out Chris Brogan’s recent blog post, My 3 Words for 2010. Trusted Advisor Associates’ three words for the year (in draft) are Community, Rich-Soil, and Starpower. My personal ones are Leaps, Delicious, and Gravitas. And you?

When a Win-Win…Is Not

January 27, 2010 in Food for Thought, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

This post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

Special thanks to Noelle who participated in a Being a Trusted Advisor program Charlie and I led recently. Noelle told a similar story in class that was the inspiration for this post.

I had an experience with US Airways recently that shed light on the difference between what I’ll call a Sears Win-Win* and a Real Win-Win. In short, the difference boils down to incentives.

The Story of an On-Time Departure

It seems that US Airways is placing a lot of emphasis on on-time departures these days.  Works for me! As I was getting settled on a recent flight, I noticed that the flight attendant working my section was particularly smiley and up-beat, urging everyone to get buckled up and ready to go in a most effervescent way.

I acknowledged her demeanor as she paused near my row. “We’re working hard for an on-time departure today and it looks like we’re going to make it!” she beamed.

“Wow,” I said, a bit taken aback by the commitment and the positivity.

Then she added, “And there’s $50 in it for me if we leave the gate on time!”

(Apparently, US Airways implemented a new program in 2009 where employees below the director level can earn up to $150 per month in incentive pay when they achieve top-three rankings for on-time performance, mishandled baggage reports or customer complaint numbers.)

“Oh,” I said.

And then we left on time…and arrived on time.

Why Motives Matter

On the surface, this sure looks like a win-win: I won because we left and arrived on time; the flight attendant won because she got her bonus. The corporate incentive program worked! Or did it?

I say it didn’t. Not really. It clearly achieved a desirable result (me arriving on time). And that result came with–what’s the word I’m looking for–baggage (me feeling like chopped liver). Which is why I call this a Sears Win-Win, not a Real Win-Win. If we look throught the lens of the Trust Equation, my friendly flight attendant’s Self Orientation was sky high. And therein lies the problem: the source of her interest was her own benefit, not mine.

How Do We Make the Ending Happy?

Here are some conclusions I draw from this story:

  • Incentives are great. And they’re not enough
  • When one or more parties in a business transaction leaves that transaction without feeling cared about, it’s a loss, not a win.
  • Motives aren’t only spoken; they’re exuded
  • Real Win-Win’s are motivated by caring, not by numbers.

Which begs the question, how do you incent–and incite–someone to care?

Any answers out there?

*Reference courtesy of Frank Zappa

Intimacy 201

December 15, 2009 in Consulting on the Edge, Food for Thought, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

by Andrea Howe on Tuesday, December 1, 2009

At first blush, intimacy is a strange word to use in a business context. “What, I’m supposed to intimate with my clients?” In the sense that being intimate means being familiar, informal, and emotionally connected…yes, indeed.

Intimacy is one of the four components of theTrust Equation and it usually gets the short-shrift. For most, it’s more natural to build trust by increasing credibility and reliability. And yet, without intimacy, business transactions are just that–transactions–and the “safe haven” experience that is the hallmark of Trusted Advisor relationships is a pipe dream.

Here is a Top 10 list of intimacy-builders to help answer the question, “How do I build intimacy with my clients?”

Caveat: While the three  groupings (Be Positive, Be Personal, Be Bold) are relatively universal, the specifics underneath are written from a U.S. orientation (mine) and should be adapted as appropriate to fit different cultural norms.

Be Positive

1. Tell your client something you appreciate about him. Don’t just think it; say it. “Amal, before we dig into our agenda today, I just wanted to say I really appreciate how you handled the meeting yesterday. You were clear and direct while also listening to the concerns that were raised. I think it made a difference for the staff.”

2. Celebrate successes together. Give the tendency to be a Task Master a little reprieve. Suggest meetings, coffees, lunches–whatever–that are specifically focused on reflecting on/toasting a job well done.

Be Personal

3. Use your client’s name when you communicate with him/her. They say your own name is the sweetest music to your ears. Address your client personally in your emails, voicemails, and conversations.

4. Use colloquial language. Check the consulting jargon and multi-syllablic words at the door. Practice human talk. Simple. Straightforward. To the point.

5. Be empathic in all your interactions. Empathy creates emotional correctedness. Stop to demonstrate that you’re really tuned in to what your client is saying (both the words and the “music”) before you ask your next question or make your next recommendation. “It’s clear this is a stressful situation, Frank” or “I can appreciate the difficulty in that” or “That sounds like a victory worth celebrating!” (see #2)

6. Be willing to express your own emotions. They’re legit too. “Gee, Johannes, I must confess to feeling pretty frustrated by what you just said” or “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.”

7.  Share something personal. The next time you’re doing the Monday morning how-was-your-weekend-fine-thanks-yours bit, don’t let it stop at a superficial exchange. “My weekend was great, Surita, thanks for asking. My parents were in town and Sam and I really enjoyed the built-in babysitting. We got a much-needed break.”

Be Bold

8. Acknowledge uncomfortable situations. Caveats are conversational jewels: “Wow, this is awkward…” or “I wish I had better news…” or “The timing with this is embarrassing…”

9. Say what needs to be said. Practice doing it in 10 words or less. “We’re not going to make the deadline” or “We just don’t have the executive sponsorship we need” or “Jim is leaving the team.” The direct approach works especially well in combination with caveats (see #8).

10. Take responsibility for mistakes. Yeah, it’s risky. It’s also human (we all make ‘em) and refreshingly real. “Janet, part of the problem here is that I dropped the ball.”

Of course, none of these “techniques” creates intimacy if they’re forced or disingenuous or robotic. It’s okay (and perfectly natural) to be a little awkward and unpolished–in fact, that just creates more intimacy.

Why Mistakes Build Trust

November 18, 2009 in BossaNova Recommends, Food for Thought, Trusted Advisor, Uncategorized by Andrea | No comments

My mechanic taught me something the other day about being a Trusted Advisor. He screwed up in a big way. And I ended up trusting him more as a result.

An Old Car and an Intimate Relationship with AAA

I love old cars and I drive a 19-year-old Mazda Miata as my primary vehicle to prove it. This necessitates an intimate relationship with AAA, as well as Gray’s Auto in Arlington, VA, where I’ve taken my cars for years with good results. A few weeks ago my car overheated on the way to an appointment. AAA came to the rescue, depositing me at Gray’s where Kevin and crew graciously inserted their unexpected visitor near the top of the list of waiting customers. it took days (and a lot of money) to diagnose and fix the problem. When I arrived at the scheduled time to pick up the car, it wasn’t ready–still being test-driven. It didn’t pass the test. I sat in the grimy waiting room for nearly three hours until it was (ostensibly) ready to go. Then half a mile into my drive home it overheated again–dead as a doornail in the right-hand lane of a busy DC thoroughfare. It was Saturday; growing dark; raining. I wasn’t the happiest of campers.

I called Kevin. He was embarrassed and frustrated, and tried valiantly to find a wrecker (on their dime) to retrieve me faster than AAA could. No luck. “We’ll stay open for you,” he assured me.

Ninety minutes later my haul and I were back at  Gray’s, where Kevin and crew waited to take care of me. They handled the situation beautifully. They were responsible and apologetic, not defensive and guilt-ridden. They didn’t explain or justify or blame; they simply said, “We’ll take care of it.” Then Kevin’s boss insisted on driving me home, stopping along the way for take-out (on his dime) so I wouldn’t have to worry about dinner. And in the end, there was no additional charge for the final repair, even though they’d spent considerable money on parts and labor replacing another failed temperature sensor. We joked when I picked up the car the second time about a mutual desire not to see each other again for at least a couple of months.

Trust Doesn’t Just Trump Screw-ups:  Screw-ups Can Create Trust

So why do I trust Kevin–and Gray’s Auto–more as a result of this experience? Because I’ve seen their true colors. I know what they stand for. And I am confident that, given another challenging situation, they will rise to the occasion. Could they have fixed the problem the first time? Maybe; I don’t really know and I don’t actually care. What I’m left with is an experience of being looked after by people who chose to do right by me, which far outweighs the costs (tangible and intangible) of a one-time goof.

Mistakes are an opportunity for us to show the world what we’re made of–to make known how we handle ourselves and who we choose to be in a moment of truth. Don’t be afraid to screw-up. When you do (and you will because we all do), don’t cover it up with excuses or defensiveness or blame or avoidance tactics. Show your clients who you are for them. Do the right thing and they’ll learn they can count on you for far more than parts and labor.

Trust and Golf: How Neither Makes Sense

October 5, 2009 in Food for Thought, Trusted Advisor by Andrea | 1 comment

I’ve been reading Trust Agents by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith.

I was particularly struck by the way they told Robert Scoble’s story (a success story, but not usually painted as a trust story).  They call Scoble one of the first trust agents ever on the World Wide Web.

Though hindsight is 20-20, many people watching Scoble’s moves at the time would have labeled him at best irreverent, irresponsible, and committed to career suicide … at worst a complete idiot. But looking at him through the lens of what it takes to become trustworthy, I’m siding with Brogan and Smith—what he did was brilliant.

The Scoble Story

In 2004, Scoble, then a Microsoft employee, took to blogging about serious issues Microsoft and its end users were experiencing. He even candidly sung the praises of Firefox, Microsoft’s Internet Explorer competitor.

Not only did Scoble not get fired, he got readers. And Microsoft got business. Brogan and Smith report, “People began eating up everything he said. If his very next blog post had praised Notepad as ‘the best app ever,’ his readers probably would have said, ‘You’re so right!’”

Scoble attributes part of this phenomenon to something he learned when he helped run retail stores in the 1980’s. If he told a customer that a competitor had a better selection, they often came back and asked to do business with him anyway, “’cause I like you better.”  (Maybe he got it from the Macy’s Santa Claus in Miracle on 34th Street, who recommended competitor Gimbel’s on occasion).

What’s Golf Got to Do with It?

One of the reasons trust is so hard to get a grip on is that it’s rife with paradox. For example, the thing we’re most afraid to say or do is precisely what will build the most trust. Or, in Scoble’s case, the best way to generate sales is to have the courage to be brutally honest about your product’s weaknesses and your competitor’s strengths.

Here’s the link to golf (pardon the pun): I am not a golfer. To me, the only logical way to get that tiny little ball to travel hundreds of yards off the first tee towards that tiny little cup is to hit it as hard as possible. If you’re a golfer, you just shook your head in dismay because you know what my strategy will yield: a nice left hook into a thick forest of trees.

Scoble came to be seen as someone who could be trusted because he knew that building trust is like a golf swing: hype your product and you slice the ball; be honest and land it square on the green.

Golf Aside, Motives Matter

Leaving the golf metaphor behind for a moment, it’s important to remember that motives really do matter. Buyers have a sixth sense for manipulation. Had Scoble been talking trash about his products with the intention of closing deals, his strategy would have backfired. Which leads us to another paradox: the more you try to build trust with the intention of closing deals, the less deals you close.

Take a look at your business model. How might the lessons of golf—and Scoble—improve your game?

How to Be a Self-Deprecating Horn-Tooter

September 16, 2009 in BossaNova Recommends, Trusted Advisor by Andrea | No comments

I recently ran for a seat on the condo board of the brand new community I live in. I lost. In front of about 60 people.

My reaction was a mixture of gratitude (“I think I just got spared a LOT of work”), huffiness (“How could they pass ME over?”), and a dash of embarrassment (“Oh no, I think I just looked like an IDIOT in front of a large group of people”).

In reflecting on what worked and didn’t about my little platform speech (I had three minutes to pitch myself to the group), I realized there are some important lessons about trust-based selling to tease out of my defeat.

What Worked

My dominant strategy was to lead with high Intimacy and low Self-Orientation, and to differentiate myself a bit. How? By telling them first why they might NOT want to elect me. I shared openly that I’m a first-time home buyer and had never before been on a condo board – in fact, I had just made my first condo payment ever. My self-deprecation was effective, I think, in that it got a good laugh and set their expectations about what they could and couldn’t count on me for (couldn’t: Board/home ownership expertise; could: honesty and lightheartedness).

What Didn’t Work

There was one thing I didn’t do that left my constituents understandably less than confident in my abilities. I was too humble. I fell into the trap that (sweeping generalization coming) many women do of being tentative about tooting my own horn.

Sure, I told them a little bit about my professional background (close to 20 years in consulting, the latter half with an emphasis on teaming and relationship skills, which lends itself well to community-building endeavors). But I didn’t let them know that when it comes to starting something up (new community, new board), I’m your woman.

I didn’t tell them that eight years ago I launched a business that now boasts a client roster of global companies that generate millions and billions in revenue each year. I didn’t tell them about the community service program I created that, within six months of its inception, was given a prominent mention in SELF magazine and then acquired by a national non-profit.

(Even as I write this, my brain is screaming: Enough with the tooting horns already!)

Bottom line: I didn’t think about what would be of value to them, link that to what I brought to the table, and say it out loud.

What I’d Do Next Time

Of course, this is all speculation; I might have lost because they didn’t like what I was wearing – who knows. I think it’s safe to say, though, that next time I’d be more effective (and certainly less huffy and embarrassed) by doing the following:

- Take five minutes to prepare. Think about what my fellow condo association members might really want in their first set of officers, and know what the link is to my experience and skills.

- Lead with the same opening – why you don’t want to elect me. It’s honest. Plus it’s a little contrarian, and I like that.

- Toot toot toot away. Confidently, succinctly, matter-of-factly, with an emphasis on the aspects of me that directly address their interests and concerns.

I’d leave them with a more complete picture of me–not one that’s either over- or underexposed.

Seems to me these guidelines apply no matter who we are, what we’re selling, and to whom we’re pitching the sale: prepare and be honest about both your strengths and your weaknesses.

That and choose your clothes carefully.

The Great Empathy Famine

May 13, 2009 in Food for Thought, Trusted Advisor by Andrea | No comments

empathyI spent the weekend in California. It started as a mini-vacation—joining a friend’s 50th birthday celebration. It ended with most of the time in my hotel room with the flu.

At first, my demeanor was positive (why compound physical misery with a bad attitude) but steadily declined as I negotiated all the logistical changes required to extend my stay until I could haul my ailing self back across the country.

Of all the service providers with whom I interacted (hotel desk clerks, cleaning ladies, airport rental car attendant), not one acknowledged my matter-of-fact revelation that I was asking for help because I was sick and couldn’t go home.

Why Is Empathy So Hard to Find?

Now, I wasn’t looking for sympathy from these folk (well, maybe a tad). It just would have been nice if, when they learned of my situation, they had given some hint that they had actually heard what I said. "Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” would have completely sufficed. Or “Oh dear!” Even “Bummer, dude.”

But no. Nothin’. Nada. When I finally emerged from my room, the cleaning lady had an attitude – the Do Not Disturb sign that hung on the door for 48 hours straight had kept her from doing her job.

The Alamo car check-in guy dutifully read – word-for-word – the statement on the back of my agreement justifying the additional $10.99 late return charge. Waiving the $10 might have made me a customer for life. Just saying, “I’m so sorry that my job requires me to tack on this extra fee under the circumstances” might have led me to consider renting from Alamo again.

These are not unhappy or unfriendly people. Hey, it’s California. They get a lot of sun. And it’s not like they were in roles not requiring interpersonal skills — I’ll give the hotel housekeeper a pass, but the rest were front-line customer service types. And honest, I wasn’t being a cranky-whiny-pain-in-the-you-know-what sick person – I promise.

I’m not sure what the problem was. Perhaps they weren’t really listening. Or they just didn’t know what to say.

Empathy Isn’t Really All That Difficult

The thing is, empathy isn’t that hard. It comes in many forms: “I’m terribly sorry,” or “I’m sure that wasn’t how you wanted to spend your weekend here!”  or even “That sucks!” (sorry, Mom, I know you hate that word).

Just acknowledge — rather than avoid — the emotional reality of the human being on the other end of the phone/service counter/board room table.

Are you uncomfortable in this touchy-feely zone? That’s perfectly normal. But it’s also a bad excuse for doing nothing. Awkward empathy beats no empathy any day of the week.

In our Trusted Advisor and Trust-Based Selling  programs we spend a lot of time practicing empathy. Put in the terms of the Trust Equation, empathy creates intimacy and intimacy builds trust.

Empathy is imperative in professional services; listening is what drives influence. Just asking good questions is not enough to be a good listener.

Having your client get that you got him — emotionally as well as cognitively — is what earns you the Top Listener award, which in turn earns you the right to be heard.

Next time you ask your client how her weekend was, and she mutters “Not quite what I expected,” try putting the meeting agenda aside just long enough to say, “I’m sorry to hear that” or – context-permitting – “Bummer, dude.”

And if your client ever reveals something that leaves you feeling itchy and unsure what to say, say that (“Oh … I’m not sure what to say”). Any attempt will do.
 

Trusted Advisor: 12 More Ways to Walk the Talk

February 20, 2009 in BossaNova Recommends, Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade, Trusted Advisor by Andrea | No comments

I just led a program called Being a Trusted Advisor for a global consulting firm. The list of collective “ahas” that was generated at the end of class is worth sharing. As always, the beauty lies in the simplicity of each item on the list; the mastery lies in their application. Here’s a Top 12 list, in no particular order, with a little bit of voice-over added:

1. High trust means high risk. There is no trust without risk, period.

2. People trust people. Branding and marketing efforts are valuable, absolutely. And trust is personal. It occurs (or not) human-to-human.

3. It’s OK to say what you’re thinking. This is especially true when you’re thinking isn’t fully formed and perfectly articulated. “Thinking out loud” demonstrates your willingness to be honest, humble, and sometimes messy.

4. Don’t rush to problem-solving. This is the second biggest destroyer of trust. We, the overachievers, naturally want to prove our credibility by showing how quickly we can come up with the right answer. But we have to earn the right to give advice before we can give it – if we want that advice to be heard.

5. It’s OK to be honest, even if it makes you look bad. Honesty is an essential aspect of credibility.

6. Get the chatter out of our brains. Our own thoughts, worries, fears, and pre-occupations create noise that interferes with our ability to truly tune in to others.

7. “Rip off the band-aid.” When there’s bad news to deliver, deliver it right away.

8. Get the elephant out immediately. A close cousin to #7. What seems un-discussable (the proverbial elephant in the room) is usually precisely what needs to be discussed to build trust.

9. Get the words and the “music.” Listening – really listening – requires attention to facts as well as emotions, surface as well as nuance.

10. A problem shared is a problem halved. This one speaks to the principal of collaboration, which is usually easier said than done.

11. “This isn’t about me.” Another great mantra. Self-orientation is a huge trust-destroyer.

12. Stop being clever; be human and honest instead. Enough said.

Which one will you choose to put into practice by COB today?

Trust Matters: Trusted-based Business Development in a Recession

February 18, 2009 in BossaNova Recommends, Trusted Advisor by Andrea | No comments

We were honored to collaborate recently with Trusted Advisor Associates on a series of blog posts devoted to selling in down times, organized by the Four Trust Principles. Use these links to access about 50 suggestions for developing business in tough economic times:

Monday Thinking about sales from a trust perspective
Tuesday Principle 1: Client / customer focus
Wednesday Principle 2: Collaboration
Thursday Principle 3: Medium-to-long-term perspective
Friday Principle 4: Transparency

I Screwed Up

February 6, 2009 in BossaNova Recommends, Food for Thought, Trusted Advisor by Andrea | No comments

Thanks go to President Obama for timing his first major Presidential misstep to coincide with my delivery of a “Being a Trusted Advisor” workshop.

In class, we had been talking about human nature and the gravitational pull to avoid admitting culpability and generally looking bad when—voila—there appeared the perfect teaching point on the front page of the New York Times.

Whatever your politics, there are two key lessons to be derived from the “I screwed up” message that President Obama delivered on the heels of Tom Daschle’s withdrawal from consideration as the next secretary of Health and Human Services:

1. Take full responsibility. He pointed his own finger at himself. He didn’t say “I regret the unfortunate circumstances and misinformation that led to the selection of Mr. Daschle.” He didn’t hitch his wagon to Daschle’s admission of his own mistake. No, Obama said, “I screwed up.”

2. Keep it simple. He used plain talk. Three simple words. I told workshop participants to use no more than ten words when there’s a hard truth to be told. Obama came in seven under.

Telling the truth when the truth makes you look good (as in, “Mr. Client, I have 20 years of experience solving the kinds of problems you are facing right now”) increases your credibility by demonstrating your expertise.

Telling the truth when the truth makes you look bad (as in, “I screwed up”) is a trust trifecta: your honesty boosts your credibility, your humanity creates intimacy, and your willingness to subordinate your own ego lowers your self-orientation.

It’s another part of the trust paradox: doing what makes you look bad (telling the truth) makes you look good. As long as you really mean it.

Are You a Competent Jerk or a Lovable Fool?

December 15, 2008 in BossaNova Recommends, Food for Thought, Trusted Advisor by Andrea | No comments

This post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

Tiziana Casciaro and Miguel Sousa Lobo wrote in “Competent Jerks, Lovable Fools, and the Formation of Social Networks” in the Harvard Business Review (June 2005) about how people choose who they work with.

“In most cases, people choose their work partners according to two criteria. One is competence at the job…the other is likability.”

Arrayed on a two-by-two competency vs. likeability matrix, everyone prefers to affiliate with the lovable star–no one with the incompetent jerk. No surprise there.

But what happens when we are forced to choose from the last two quadrants–lovable fool and competent jerk? Place your bets, now.

Based on data from four diverse organizations and over 10,000 work relationships, Casciaro and Lobo discovered (drum roll…) –

Yep, you guessed it. We prefer the lovable fool – even though we may not readily admit it.

We say out loud that we prefer skills and expertise (it sounds unprofessional and illogical not to) and that being “nice” is a nice “bonus.” But in practice, their study showed that your personal feelings about your colleague play a more important role in forming work relationships than do your evaluations of their competence.

“In fact, feelings worked as a gating factor: If someone is strongly disliked, it’s almost irrelevant whether or not she is competent; people don’t want to work with her anyway. By contrast, if someone is liked, his colleagues will seek out every little bit of competence he has to offer.”

Feelings trump rational thought. Again.

Implication: our clients would rather we be lovable fools than competent jerks. Which means we’d be better off if we spent more time boosting our likability than our competence, despite what our clients say out loud.

There may be a better business case for charm school than for business school.

Learning that STICks

December 10, 2008 in BossaNova Recommends, Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Next week we’ll be unveiling our new white paper called Learning that STICks – a practical guide to avoiding disappointing returns on soft skills training.

Learning that STICks is learning that is Sustainable, Transformational, Intelligent and Collaborative. STICky learning is flexible; it can expand or contract to fit time, budget, and resource constraints. But in every case, being STICky pays off.

To give you a taste of what Learning that STICks is all about, here are some examples of quick ways to implement STICky learning:

- Convene an action learning team with the specific goal of improving one or more real-life client relationships over a three-month period (Sustainable). Include time to define and debrief specific action steps as well as time for members to give each other feedback and reflect on what mindsets are in play (Transformational). Have participants complete a before and after self-assessment to identify their strengths and development areas in terms of thinking smarts, relating smarts, and being smarts (Intelligent). Invite managers to join the action learning team once a month to provide guidance and feedback (Collaborative).

- Have participants in a learning program work together to prepare a “brown bag” series (Sustainable) on “Emotionally Intelligent Consulting” (Intelligent). Make storytelling an integral part of the presentations (Transformational). Invite a client panel to participate to share their experiences and perspectives (Collaborative).

Here’s the key: learning that STICks addresses all of the essentials in some form or other. You might say the elements must be –um, “stuck”— together to be effective. For example, learning programs that are Sustainable but not Transformational may do a great job of reinforcing new skills but never crack open the limiting mindsets that impair a consultants’ ability to carry out those skills. Learning programs that are Intelligent but not Collaborative may create a cadre of well-rounded consultants but miss the “wow” that’s created when key stakeholders are focused on exceptional client service.

We’ll let you know when Learning that STICks is available on our website. No registration is required to download the paper, but if you’d like to receive automatic notification, please click here to register for our monthly BossaNews.

Zen and the Art of Trusted Advisorship

November 19, 2008 in BossaNova Recommends, Tips of the Trade, Trusted Advisor by Andrea | No comments

This post can also be found at the Trust Matters blog.

In our Trusted Advisor workshops and coaching engagements, we spend a lot of time on listening. Why? Because not listening is one of the top two causes of trust breakdown. (The other — accelerating too quickly to a solution – is another form of not listening.)

Listening is critical to advice-giving because it’s through listening that we earn the right to offer advice.

There are many reasons we humans do a crappy job of listening. One of my favorites: the little internal voice that clogs our brain with incessant chatter.

(Don’t have a little voice in your head? Your little voice is the one that says, “What little voice? I don’t have a little voice.”)

A 30-second snippet from a typical internal dialogue:

Client: [insert reasonable work-related comments here]

Your little voice: “Uh oh. I should have spent more time preparing for this meeting. You know, I’m not sure I like this guy.”

Client: [insert reasonable work-related comments here]

LV: “I do like his tie. The suit, not so much.”

LV: “Did I remember to take my black suit to the drycleaner?”

Client: [insert reasonable work-related comments here]

LV: “I wish he’d hurry up and finish so I can re-focus this conversation. He’s taken us way off course.”

And so it goes. Like static on a radio station, the little voice interferes with our ability to tune in.

Which begs the question: How to reduce the static to improve our listening so that we, in turn, will be listened to?

Unfortunately, that little voice will never go away – it comes with being human. But there are ways to minimize it. Here are my Top Three:

1. Prepare your mind. This suggestion comes directly from The Trusted Advisor (page 200, if you must know). Train your brain to notice random chatter, and substitute some wry wisdom of your own choosing. Examples:

“I am not the center of the universe.

“It’s a ‘we’ game, not a ‘me’ game.”

“A point of view doesn’t commit you for life.”

“Knowing the truth is better than not knowing it.”

You can also make this part of your pre-flight checklist before your next big client meeting.

2. Get a little Zen. When the chatter arises, notice and observe it; raise your consciousness about it in the moment and gently but swiftly return your focus to the real conversation at-hand. This is similar to the practice that experienced meditators use of returning to the breath when “monkey mind” (a mind that jumps from thought to thought like a monkey jumps from tree to tree) takes over.

3. Think out loud. Get the chatter out of your head and into the conversation. This is especially valuable when your little voice is expressing a concern. Here are some examples:

LV: “He seems distracted.”

What you might say: “Let’s take a time out to be sure we’re going in the right direction with this conversation.”

LV: “I’m not sure she understands what I’m getting at.”

What you might say: “At the risk of appearing a little assertive here, may I be blunt?”

LV: “I am doing a lot of talking; someone shut me up!”

What you might say: “I’m hearing myself doing a lot of the talking here. What haven’t I asked about that’s important for me to know?”

This one requires some risk-taking. As does all trust.

You’re not crazy for having the little voice; you’re human. Do your clients – and yourself – a favor by training your brain to tune chatter out, client in. By listening, you earn the right to be listened to.

Andrea Howe has been in the consulting profession for nearly 20 years. A skilled speaker and facilitator, she has designed and delivered hundreds of off-sites, workshops, presentations and learning programs for people endeavoring to improve their business relationships. Read more…

New Resource! The Trust Matters Primer

October 2, 2008 in BossaNova Recommends, Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Charlie Green, co-author of The Trusted Advisor, has just released a compilation of his best blog posts in a great little e-book called The Trust Matters Primer: The best of the Trusted Advisor Blog.

Topics range from how to answer that million-dollar client question, “Why should we choose you?” to three keys to transforming client relationships gone bad. We’re delighted that one of our blog comments is featured in the primer (page 18).

Click here for access to the Primer: http://trustedadvisor.com/public/files/pdf/TrustMattersPrimer01.pdf

Click here for access to the Trust Matters blog: http://trustedadvisor.com/trustmatters/

For Consultants who Facilitate: Dealing with Group Dynamics

September 17, 2008 in BossaNova Recommends, Consulting on the Edge by Andrea | No comments

We just completed our second delivery of BossaNova’s Advanced Facilitation Skills for Consultants program. We saw once again that a consultant’s biggest fear when it comes to facilitating client events is, hands-down, dealing with difficult group dynamics – you know, managing the client who’s overly talkative, highly argumentative, prone to ramble, stubbornly skeptical, and the like.

To some extent, the answer to dealing with these difficulties lies in practice (which is why our training program includes a simulation where each participant gets to successfully deal with his or her worst meeting nightmare). To a large extent, though, group dynamics issues can be mitigated and even avoided long before the client event begins.

Here are some examples of what you can do at various stages of the Planning and Design phases of an event to turn your worst nightmare into a dream come true:

- Partner with the client. Be thorough with all the discovery questions you ask. Don’t be afraid to take the time to ask the tough or potentially sensitive ones about the history of the group, such as, “What’s the history of the group? What has occurred that might impact its work together?” “Are there any underlying problems or external forces that might impact this event?” “Are there any special characteristics of the group or its members?” “How will decisions be made in this group?”

- Define event purpose and outcomes. Make the effort to get agreement on these in advance with as many event participants as possible.

- Identify the event team. Involve more than your client sponsor; make one or more members of the client organization an integral part of your planning team. Concerned that a particularly belligerent or resistant event participant will derail the entire effort? Then make friends with the enemy – make him or her part of the team early on.

- Gather data. Engage all event participants in some way in advance of the event. Bare minimum: send multiple communications about the event before-hand. If constraints make it impossible to interview everyone (for example, the group is too large or the budget won’t allow for it), develop a quick and dirty email survey to solicit input from as many participants as possible. Inviting their voices to be heard before the event will have a dramatic impact on how they participate during the event. Don’t shrink away from the ones you most fear. The “pay me now or pay me later” principle applies here, for sure.

- Develop event design. Be strategic about the activities you choose and the way you group people throughout the event. For example, use “max-mix” breakout groups to diffuse tension and promote a diversity of perspectives and views.

Extraordinary facilitated events – and happily engaged participants — are as much about great planning and design as they are about skilled execution.

Trusted Advisor: 10 Ways to Walk the Talk

August 5, 2008 in Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

Charlie Green and I just led a two-day program that we call Trusted Advisor: Walking the Talk. I was struck by the list of “one big ahas” that participants created at the end of the program. The beauty lies in the simplicity of each item on the list; the mastery lies in their application. Here’s a Top 10 list, in no particular order, with a little bit of voice-over added:

1. Sell by doing, not by telling. Give your prospects an direct experience of working with you, not a description of what it will be like.

2. Don’t sell – help. Avoid “vultural client service” by focusing first and foremost on ways to be of greatest assistance to your client. Trust that the deals will come.

3. Trust doesn’t have to take time. Telling a hard truth in a direct and respectful manner is one way to build trust in an instant.

4. Be honest, immediately. See above.

5. Fess up when you don’t know. “I don’t know” are three words that most consultants are loathe to utter; paradoxically, they are perhaps the three most powerful words you can use to establish your credibility.

6. There are steps between problems and solutions (LOL). We’re so good at problem solving that we often forget those steps…and forget to really listen to our clients in the process.

7. Understand your client’s point of view. Take time to sit in his/her chair (literally and figuratively) and share with a committed listener (e.g., a colleague or coach) what the world looks like from this vantage point.

8. Take more risks, faster. Trust-building requires risk-taking. There really is no way around that.

9. Courage and self-awareness are the secret sauce to trust. Having content knowledge or industry expertise is great; knowing yourself and having the courage to take actions that set you apart from the pack are essential ingredients for trust-building.

10. It’s OK to show your feelings. How else can we expect our clients to reveal theirs?

Which one will you choose to put into practice by COB today?

July Carnival of Trust

July 16, 2008 in BossaNova Recommends, Food for Thought by Andrea | 2 comments

Carnival of Trust

 

Welcome to the July 2008 Carnival of Trust! The Carnival of Trust is a monthly, traveling review of ten of the last month’s best posts related to various aspects of trust in the world. My job this month was to pick those ten posts for you and provide an introduction to each post that makes you want to click through and read more. How’d I do?
Trust in Sales and Marketing
1. Sex, religion, and politics are widely taught as the three topics to avoid in any relationship. Paul McCord, who writes the Sales and Management Blog, begs to differ – at least on the political front. Paul invites an engaging discussion on the downsides of avoiding discussions of politics with sales prospects. Referring to the upcoming U.S. presidential election, Paul asserts “Many of us will spend the next few months doing a delicate dance of avoidance, trying to offend no one while insisting that we are open, honest, trustworthy individuals, intent only on meeting the prospect’s needs and becoming trusted advisors. We’ll try to build relationships based on getting to know our client while allowing them to get to know only three quarters of us.” I hadn’t thought of it that way and I couldn’t agree more.

Title: Avoiding Uncomfortable Discussions with Your Prospects and Clients Isn’t Going to Build Trust

 

2. Check out Bruce Rasmussen’s engaging personal tale called “Trust and the $5 Muffin Refund.” Bruce combines forthrightness and whimsy throughout this post, beginning with a marketer’s definition of trust (which he claims to paraphrase):

A can trust B if B has the opportunity to rip A off – and chooses not to do so.

Embedded in a story about muffins are some pretty provocative questions that Bruce asks about our own organizations’ proclivity to “do the right thing” by our customers.

Title: Trust and the $5 muffin refund

 

3. I love Mark Slatin’s wry commentary as much as his insights on selling and trust. He opens Slow Down to Sell: Get Results by Creating Value Before the Call with the following: “After a recent sales call, you had a strange feeling that you didn’t really connect with the buyer. You got all of your key selling points out, but they didn’t seem excited about anything but the collapsible Koozie with your company logo.” We’ve all been there in one way or another.

To the question, “What went wrong?” Mark suggests that value creation was missing. He provides three specific areas to research before you even meet your buyer – all fundamental and yet often overlooked. Mark also reminds us that relationships aren’t linear: “While a defined selling process designed to create buyer value from start to finish is an important part of the selling success, particularly in more complex sales, the overarching goal is to build a trusting relationship. The value creation process helps provide a roadmap.” Makes me wonder if the road to hell is paved with collapsible Koozies.

Title: Slow Down to Sell: Get Results by Creating Value Before the Call

 

Trust in Advising and Influencing
4. Can you trust your lawyer? Jordan Furlong of Law21 says absolutely, even daring to propose that “lawyers are amazingly trustworthy as individuals, possessing (in my perhaps biased view) more courage and moral fiber than can be found in many other walks of life.” Whether or not you agree with assertion (and I’ll confess to extracting it because I thought it would get your attention), Jordan’s post is worth a read. He suggests that the poor reputation for trust in the legal profession stems from a reluctance to trust others. “So we don’t trust our colleagues to live up to their partnership commitments or act in the firm’s best interests; we don’t trust our juniors with important cases or meaningful client contact; we don’t trust opposing counsel to act in good faith; we don’t trust clients to behave reasonably or honourably when reviewing our work or our fees.” Jordan ends with a heart-felt and passionate plea that’s hard to disagree with: “So we need to make trust fashionable again. We need to again make trust — the courage to give it and the honour of receiving it — the highest goal and the best accolade for lawyers, so that those unwilling to (or unworthy of) trust are seen as the exceptions, not the rule.”

Title: Restoring the Culture of Trust

 

5. Charles H. Green’s Trust Equation emphasizes Reliability (predictability, consistency) as a key element of trust-building. Elizabeth Cook would agree. In her blog, The Really Big Check, she points to punctuality as a way to demonstrate consistency. Elizabeth describes punctuality as good business: “It shows you respect others’ time, as well as your own.” She offers some practical advice for what does and doesn’t constitute a good excuse for being late. This post is a good reminder that sometimes the best Trusted Advisor practices are really simple and straightforward.

Title: Trusted Advisor Tip

 

6. I can’t resist another reference to the Trust Equation as a way of introducing Cordell Parvin’s Choose Words Carefully. Looking at the components of the Trust Equation (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / Self-Orientation), trust is built largely through words. What about actions, you say? Absolutely! That’s how Reliability is created – when actions match up with promises (words). What about motives, you ask? Yes, that too! That’s how low Self-Orientation comes through – when good intentions and mutually-beneficial goals are communicated (words). So Cordell’s post is apropos to trust-building, as it lists several key phrases to avoid with clients…starting with “No problem” and ending with “You should.”

Title: Choose Words Carefully

 

Trust in Leadership and Management

Transparency7. Michael McKinney, author of Leading Blog, shares excerpts from the work of well-known leadership experts Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman, and James O’Toole on the subject of transparency. Michael draws out five leadership lessons and brings attention to a particularly interesting point with this one: “All of us would do well to reflect on how receptive we are to the suggestions and opinions of others and alternate points of view. Leaders need to question their willingness to hear certain voices and not others. They need to make a habit of second-guessing their enthusiasms as well as their antipathies, since both can cloud their judgment.” What have you held great enthusiasm for lately that might be worth a second look?

Title: 5 Leadership Lessons: Transparency

 

8. Steve Roesler’s “How’m I Doin’?”: More Feedback, Relationships and Success got my attention with his opening paragraph: “Let’s get something out in the open: I don’t like the word feedback. It’s a buzzword. Once a word falls into that category it loses its power and effectiveness. It becomes a cliche. Like buzzword.” Candor with a touch of clever is always refreshing.

But my interest didn’t end there. Steve goes on to share some context for what he calls “the feedback thing.” (Did you know the practice started with the Space program back in the 1940’s? I didn’t either.) Then he offers five practical tips for finding out how you’re doin’. My favorite is number four: “Your best relationships are with people who say ‘no’ to you. This isn’t about someone refusing to give you feedback. It’s about the paradoxical dynamic that surrounds difficult news. It takes a high level of trust to say ‘no’ to someone. As a result, we learn to develop trust with people who say ‘no’ as often as they say ‘yes’.” Hear hear.

Title: “How’m I Doin’?”: More Feedback, Relationships, and Success

 

9. The More Meetings, The Less Trust, by Carmine Coyote begs to be accompanied by a Dilbert cartoon. Carmine Coyote’s rant—errr, post—begins with this: “In the list of activities that waste time and cause worthless frustration at work, meetings rank very near the top.” Carmine continues, “There are briefing meetings, liaison meetings, working parties, project groups and a host of other meeting types; and while all offer endless opportunities to drone on about something of little importance to anyone else, the worst aspect of so many useless gatherings is their tendency to create situations where your work can be vetoed or undermined.” The reason for such a continual waste of time and energy? Carmine says it’s simple: pervasive distrust. Click through to discover the simple antidote.

Title: The More Meetings, The Less Trust

 

Trust in Strategy, Economics and Politics
10. Many people (particularly in the U.S.) were recently stunned by Tim Russert’s unexpected death. Drew McLellan of Drew’s Marketing Minute provides some interesting insight into why he and so many others who never personally knew Tim Russert were left with such feelings of loss at his passing. Drew says, “Tim Russert earned the country’s trust. Which is the sign of a brilliant journalist but it is also the foundation of a brilliant brand. How’d he do it?” Drew answers with five trust-building characteristics. I found number four of particular note. Referring to Tim, Drew says, “He wore his emotions on his sleeve. While his reporting stayed objective, his enthusiasm for the whole thing was apparent. He loved what he was doing, he loved talking politics. He loved the battle and the debate. That was a big part of how we knew he was authentic. He didn’t try to keep us at arm’s length. He invited us in to share in what he loved.” Drew reminds us that the recipe for building trust includes a tablespoon of risk-taking, a pinch of authenticity, and a dash of the unexpected.

Title: Tim Russert — A Lesson in Branding

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The dog days of summer are upon us, and holidays beckon, so the Carnival of Trust will take an August hiatus and return in September. Enjoy your summer and we’ll see you in a month and half!

Call for Submissions: July Carnival of Trust

July 8, 2008 in BossaNova Recommends, Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

BossaBlog, the home blog of BossaNova Consulting Group, the firm that teaches consulting to consultants, will be the July 2008 host of the Carnival of Trust!

Please submit postings that deal with personal trust, business trust and political trust , as well as pieces on the nature of trust.

There is a hard limit of 10 postings per Carnival. We will personally make the decisions about inclusion, in an inevitably subjective manner intended to push thinking ahead in those broad areas of trust.

So if you’ve written a blog post on trust in the last year and haven’t submitted it, please dust and send it in to us. The submission deadline is tomorrow at midnight.

Also, be sure to have a look at some past juicy carnival selections.

How Trustworthy Are You?

May 14, 2008 in BossaNova Recommends, Consulting on the Edge, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

HandshakeCharlie Green of Trusted Advisor fame has a new online self-assessment to gauge your level of trustworthiness. We think it’s a great little tool, with 20 simple questions and an elegant and short report at the end, based on your entries. Take it today at www.trustedadvisor.com/trustquotient.

Build Trust by Getting Off Your “S”

May 9, 2008 in BossaNova Recommends, Consulting on the Edge by Andrea | No comments

We got a nice acknowledgment this week in Charlie Green’s Trust Matters blog. His post is about the single best way to become trusted. Check it out!

Making Friends with the Enemy

March 25, 2008 in Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

If you haven’t seen the “Cat and the Crow” video that’s been circulating the Internet for a while, it’s worth a peek. Check out what’s possible when two enemies don’t know they’re supposed to be enemies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZjZQ6KkiUk

Imagine if we humans applied the generosity and wisdom demonstrated by these two simple creatures. Especially in the business world.

There’s a simple yet profound lesson articulated at the end: “If you’re able to gain trust in someone … than anything is possible.”

Ain’t that the truth.

Reading Your Clients – Part Two

March 7, 2008 in Consulting on the Edge, Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Ever wonder why you get along so well with one client but just can’t seem to make headway with another? It could be that you have different Social Styles. This week’s blog offers tips for how to relate – and get results – with clients who have different Social Styles from your own.

In our last post, we acknowledged that, while it’s important not to stereotype or “box” others in, models that define typical style preferences can be helpful. We think the Social Style Model (www.tracomcorp.com) is easy to understand and immediately apply.

The combination of Assertiveness (the degree to which you ask or tell during interactions) and Responsiveness (the degree to which you tend to control or emote) reveal your Social Style as Analytical, Driving, Amiable, or Expressive. Click here for a description of each social style.

Taking that one step further, here are tendencies and tips for each Social Style category during times of stress:

trust diagram

For a detailed list of recommended approaches for each quadrant, check out Tracom Corp’s web site (www.tracomcorp.com). The key is to figure out your primary style first, and then your clients’. You can close the gaps from there.

Reading Your Clients

March 5, 2008 in Consulting on the Edge, Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Ever wonder why you get along so well with one client but just can’t seem to make headway with another? It could be that you have different Social Styles. This week’s blog offers a simple and useful framework for understanding and remedying disconnects between you and your clients (or between you and anyone, for that matter).

Human beings have natural behavioral patterns. While it’s important not to stereotype or “box” others in, models that define typical style preferences can be help us understand how to relate to our clients – especially when they are different from us. We like the Social Style Model (www.tracomcorp.com) because it’s easy to understand and immediately apply.

The Social Style Model uses two dimensions of human behavior:

trust diagram

1. Assertiveness is the degree to which you ask or tell during interactions
2. Responsiveness is the degree to which you tend to control or emote.

In combination, these two dimensions reveal your Social Style:

The challenge arises when you and your client have different Social Styles but don’t realize it. For example, an Amiable consultant (like me) may misinterpret a Driving client’s focus on actions and results as a lack of caring for his staff, and may frustrate her by spending too much time on relationships. Similarly, a Driving consultant may mistake an Amiable client for someone who is not bottom-line oriented.

So how do you minimize the gap in styles and maximize your ability to get the job done? Check out our next blog post to find out.

11 Rules to Consult By

February 27, 2008 in Consulting on the Edge, Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

We were recently asked to create a Consulting 101 for a group of IT executives at a very big company. In today’s blog, we share the eleven “Rules to Consult By”, a distilled list that represents what the best of the best in consulting practice on a regular basis. Here we’ve turned it into a short self-assessment. See how you do! Be honest.

trust diagram

If you’re an “Often” on 8 out of 11, congratulations! If you’re a “Sometimes” on five or more, create specific reminders or actions to take in the next week to get back in the best practices groove. If you’re a “Never” or “Rarely” on one or more items, let us know and we”ll offer up some tips to help: info@bossanovaconsulting.com.

Building Group Trust: The Service-Oriented Facilitator

February 12, 2008 in Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Client meetings are a great opportunity to build trust with many clients at once. Today’s blog is the fourth (and last) in a series that focuses on how to build trust with your clients when you morph from Consultant to Facilitator (Click here to read the first article in the series, Building Group Trust: The Credible Facilitator.)

We’ve used the components of the Trust Equation as our framework. So far, we’ve covered Credibility, Reliability, and Connectedness; now we turn to Service Orientation.

trust diagram

Service Orientation exists in the domain of motives. Service-oriented facilitators make it clear that they are relentlessly focused on their client’s wants and needs at all times. Service-oriented facilitators are also committed to making sure that any and all interactions are all about the group–not about the facilitator. (Note that this component is reflected as Self-Orientation in the denominator of the Trust Equation – the idea here is to minimize a focus on self as much as possible.)

Service Orientation is so important that we’ve identified 20 tips for establishing yourself as a Service-oriented Facilitator:

1. Find out how your client defines success and how you can help them achieve it

2. Deliver “early and ugly” in the design phase – collaborate and iterate

3. Let go of trying to appear clever, bright, witty; it’s not a show and it’s not all about you

4. Put the PowerPoint deck aside – use stories, easel charts, and creative handouts instead

5. Don’t name-drop

6. Be self-deprecating

7. Give voice to your fears

8. Take risks

9. Don’t jump to a solution; give the group ample time to define and grapple with a problem

10. Know your own traps/triggers and make it your job (not your clients’) to manage them

11. Don’t interrupt

12. Answer direct questions with direct answers

13. Practice active/reflective listening — constantly

14. Be really honest even (especially) when it makes you look bad

15. Give others credit for successes

16. Take responsibility for failed communications

17. Confront issues as they arise (e.g., when ground rules are broken) -being preoccupied with them keeps your attention on your own preoccupation

18. Be willing to turn leadership of the group over to the group at an appropriate time

19. Let someone in the group have the last word, even (especially) when you”re dying to add your piece

20. Take time to solicit “plus/delta” feedback; hear it all with grace and good humor

Clients who experience you as Service-oriented can be heard saying, “I trust that she cares about xyz.” As a result, they’ll trust your leadership of the group.

Credibility, Reliability, Connectedness, and Service-orientation: four secret ingredients to turning any client meeting of any size into an opportunity for a double-whammy: exceeding expected results while simultaneously building trust.

Email us to receive our one-page handout called “50+ Tips for Building your Trustworthiness as a Facilitator.”

Building Group Trust: The Connected Facilitator

January 8, 2008 in Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Client meetings are a great opportunity to build trust with many clients at once. Today’s blog is the third in a four-pack that focuses on how to build trust with your clients when you morph from Consultant to Facilitator. (Click here to read the first article in the series, Building Group Trust: The Credible Facilitator and click here to read the second article in the series, Building Group Trust: The Reliable Facilitator). We’ll use the components of the Trust Equation as our framework.

trust diagram

We�ve covered Credibility and Reliability so far; now we turn to Connectivity, which aligns with Intimacy on the Trust Equation.

Intimacy exists in the domain of emotions and emotional connectedness. The Connected Facilitator visibly demonstrates both empathy and discretion, which makes it possible for the group to flourish in a comfortable and safe working environment.

Here are 10 tips for establishing yourself as a Connected Facilitator:

1. Be rigorous about maintaining confidentiality when you collect and report group data (e.g., surveys or interviews)

2. Create a meeting design that supports discussion and disclosure (e.g., pairs sharing first before a whole group discussion) – especially around sensitive topics

3. Create a physical meeting space that is welcoming and orderly

4. Share something (appropriately) personal with the group; lead by example

5. Pay special attention to member participation throughout the meeting; use techniques like one-word check-ins and round robin reporting so all voices are heard

6. Use easel charts, white boards, and other visible recording devices to capture group input and actions

7. Use participants� language when creating a group record – even if you think it’s incorrect (grammatically or otherwise)

8. Acknowledge uncomfortable situations (e.g., “Wow, I notice the room got really quiet all of a sudden.”)

9. Demonstrate empathy; repeat back/summarize not only the content of what group members are expressing, but the emotion behind it

10. Use “process checks” periodically; step away from the content of the meeting to get feedback on participants’ overall experience of it.

Clients who experience an emotional connection with you have a sense of security, comfort, and ease in your presence. As a result, they’ll trust your leadership of the group, which means they will be more likely to express themselves and share information with you and with each other.

Unfortunately, emotional connectedness, or intimacy, is necessary and not sufficient for building trust. Last up: The Service-Oriented Facilitator.

Building Group Trust: The Reliable Facilitator

December 21, 2007 in Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Client meetings are a great opportunity to build trust with many clients at once. Today’s blog is the second in a four-pack series that focuses on how to build trust with your clients when you morph from Consultant to Facilitator (click here to read the first article in the series, Building Group Trust: The Credible Facilitator). We’re using the components of the Trust Equation as our framework.

trust diagram

First up was Credibility. Today’s topic: Reliability.

Reliability exists in the domain of actions. Reliability occurs when you prove yourself to be dependable and predictable over time.

Here are 10 tips for establishing yourself as a Reliable Facilitator:

1. Whenever possible, interact with the group prior to convening to introduce yourself and begin to demonstrate how you work.

2. Be sensitive to your clients’ cultural norms when designing sessions.

3. Stick to the agenda you’ve created unless you clearly re-contract with the group or group leader to make changes.

4. Create materials (easel charts, handouts, session notes) with a consistent look and feel.

5. Dress appropriately; don’t dress way “over” or “under” your clients.

6. Use the group’s terminology.

7. Check against objectives/expectations at key junctures and ending points.

8. Always return to “Parking Lots” and other similar group records to bring closure to outstanding ideas and actions.

9. Absolutely, positively end your session when promised (unless you have agreed otherwise in advance).

10. Deliver follow-up materials on time.

Clients who experience you as reliable can be heard saying, “I trust her to _______.” As a result, they’ll trust your leadership of the group.

Credibility and reliability are necessary and not sufficient for building trust. Next up: The Connected Facilitator.

Building Group Trust: The Credible Facilitator

December 19, 2007 in Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

trust photoClient meetings are a great opportunity to build trust with many clients at once. Today’s blog is the first in a four-pack that focuses on how to build trust with your clients when you morph from Consultant to Facilitator.

We’ll use the components of the Trust Equation as our framework.

trust diagram

First up: Credibility.

Credibility exists in the domain of words. It is created through your credentials, your truthfulness, and how you present yourself.

Here are 10 tips for establishing yourself as a Credible Facilitator:

1. Know your stuff! Stay up-to-date on facilitation tools and techniques.

2. Be accurate and complete with your design and preparation.

3. Prepare your easel charts and other supporting materials well in advance; create an organized and welcoming meeting space.

4. When you are in presenter mode, practice, practice, practice, so your delivery is relaxed.

5. Be familiar with your clients’ terminology and acronyms.

6. Say “I don’t know” when you don’t know.

7. Never lie. Ever. (Click here to read more on the topic of lying.)

8. Remain poised and secure when group members express different opinions.

9. Express your passion for your work and for the group.

10. Be humble; remember the group’s wisdom rules the day.

Clients who experience you as credible can be heard saying, “I trust what he says about xyz.” As a result, they’ll trust your leadership of the group.

All that said, credibility is necessary and not sufficient for building trust. Next up: The Reliable Facilitator.

Consulting and the Art of Self-Deprecation

November 29, 2007 in Consulting on the Edge, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Today’s blog brings humor to your desktop (or PDA), along with some perspective on what consultants can learn from comedians.

According to Wikipedia.com, comedians use self-deprecating humor “to avoid seeming arrogant or pompous and to help the audience identify with them.” Sounds like a good strategy for anyone looking to build trust and rapport with another human being. Sounds like an especially good strategy for anyone in the consulting profession. Ask any client who has worked with consultants over the years – they’ll have at least a few horror stories to tell about the Big Important Expert they hired. That creates messes we are all left to clean up.

Self-deprecation is an art that should be routinely practiced by anyone who claims the title “consultant.”

Here’s some material for your toolkit (original author unknown):

Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear from a Consultant

1. You’re right; we’re billing way too much for this.

2. Bet you I can go a week without saying “synergy” or “value-added”.

3. How about paying us based on the success of the project?

4. This whole strategy is based on a Harvard business case I read.

5. Actually, the only difference is that we charge more than they do.

6. I don’t know enough to speak intelligently about that.

7. Implementation? I only care about writing long reports.

8. I can’t take the credit. It was Ed in your marketing department.

9. The problem is, you have too much work for too few people.

10. Everything looks okay to me.

Share this with your clients. They’ll enjoy laughing at your expense. And they’ll appreciate your ability to laugh at yourself!

Truth, Lies, and Unicorns Revisited: How to Speak Honestly in Business

November 20, 2007 in Consulting on the Edge, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

This is our last post (for now) on the subject of lying in professional services (click here to read our first blog posting on the topic). Today’s blog offers a socially acceptable way to put hard truths on the table. It’s called “Name It and Claim It” and it starts with a caveat and ends with telling it like it is.

Caveats are forewarnings that compensate for what we are about to say. An example might be, “I wish I had better news …” Acknowledging the sometimes harsh truths that follow, we rob them of their power.

Another style of caveat is to speak with humor: “You’re gonna love me for this …” By using humor, we lighten a tense situation.

After the caveat, the next part is simple: Tell it like it is. Say, for instance, “This job is going to take longer and cost more.” Do it in ten words or less.

“Name It and Claim It” functions as a meta-tool: by speaking the thing we fear most, we disarm its power. It is a form of emotional risk management. By incurring a small amount of discomfort, we reliably defuse much larger amounts of discomfort later.

By telling the truth, we solve problems and simultaneously build trust. The result: our client opens up to us. He takes our advice, seeks us out, and listens carefully to what we say. Isn’t that what we’re really being paid for?

*”Name It and Claim It” can be found in The Trusted Advisor by David Maister, Charles Green, and Rob Galford. We think it’s a must-read for anyone in professional services.

Truth, Lies, and Unicorns Revisited: Why All Business Advisors Lie

November 15, 2007 in Consulting on the Edge, Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

Continuing our conversation on the pervasiveness of lying in professional services (click here to read our first blog posting on the topic), today’s blog explores why business advisors, when weighing the two options of telling the truth and telling a lie, often choose to lie. Yes, that’s correct, we lie even in cases where an objective analysis would suggest that truth-telling would benefit us more.

If you think this article doesn’t apply to you, think again. Business advisors who don’t ever create a false or misleading impression – in other words, lie — are like unicorns: not inconceivable, but pretty unlikely.

Here’s how we get trapped in our own misguided logic.

On the Truth side:

- We underestimate the value of truth-telling. When we are forthright and willing to face facts, clients often perceive us as virtuous.

- We overestimate the cost of disapproval for telling the truth. Clients who face an uncomfortable reality usually see it as something to be dealt with and to move beyond.

On the Lie side:

- We underestimate the cost of disapproval if the truth is revealed. We rationalize that we aren’t really lying (we are being optimistic, maintaining a “can do” attitude). Except we are lying by avoiding or omitting the truth, and getting caught affects our reputation for the long term.

- We overestimate the probability of getting away with lying. We convince ourselves that somehow we’ll be saved from ever having to face the truth. How many times did you think you were fooling your parents as a child only to find out they knew what you were up to all along?

In short, lying seems to make sense in a psychological way and therefore masquerades as the rational choice. But even when analyzed from a purely self-serving perspective, truth-telling is under-rated.

Next up: how to come clean in a way that builds trust instead of breaking it.

Truth, Lies, and Unicorns Revisited: The Pervasiveness of Lying in Professional Services

November 6, 2007 in Consulting on the Edge, Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

I am continually struck by how often I confront my own tendency to lie with clients. Yes, I said lie. Think you’re squeaky clean? Hmmmm … I’m not so sure. Try out our five-point checklist to gauge the depth of your own trustworthiness.

In the article that Charles H. Green and I co-authored in early 2007, we asserted that business advisors (or for that matter, people) who don’t lie are like unicorns: not inconceivable, but pretty unlikely. I am no exception. I bet the same is true for you.

Charlie and I used the term “lying” to be deliberately provocative. We borrowed a Merriam-Webster definition (”to create a false or misleading impression”) and, within that definition, defined five common ways that business advisors lie to clients. Here they are, listed from the most rare to most common:

- Saying an untruth

- Speaking truth by technicality

- Telling “harmless” fibs

- Lying by omission

- A peculiar form of lying known as exceeding expectations

I have a tendency to lie by omission – not wanting to raise difficult issues in the hope that they will just magically disappear.

And you? An honest self-assessment is part of any extraordinary consultant’s regular practice. As the old saying goes, the truth shall set you free.

Consulting Made Funny?

November 1, 2007 in Consulting on the Edge, Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

Comedy Image“Think improv comedy is just for laughs? Think again. It’s fertile training ground for dealing with the unexpected – you know, like in a sales conversation, when a client asks a zinger that you never saw coming. I discovered the magic of improv comedy a few years ago when I decided it was time to learn how to get past the “frozen-ness” I felt when something like that happened to me.

I got lots and lots of practice on that improv comedy stage! And my eyes also opened wide to so many parallels between what it takes to be an extraordinary improv comedian and what it takes to be an extraordinary consultant.

Improv comedy is comedy that’s made up completely on the spot, based on audience suggestions. Like the hi-jinx on the TV show, Whose Line is it, Anyway. Extraordinary improv comedians are masterful at:

- Teamwork and collaboration. An improv comedy stage is a completely level playing field. There are no hierarchies, no titles. It’s all about working together towards a common goal.

- Decision-making. Being completely in the moment makes it possible to act on information provided on the spot.

- Innovation. Turning off the inner editor allows creative thoughts to flow without inhibition. There is no such thing as “analysis paralysis” among successful improv comedians.

- Adaptability. Being flexible; bringing humor and ease to a constantly changing environment; dealing with the unexpected.

- Listening and focus. Improv comedy takes active listening to a whole new level. Accepting and adding to an “offer” is essential.

- Being of service. Improv comedy requires that you check your ego at the door and truly be of service to others; it’s all about making them look good.

- Trust. Improv comedians create a profound connection with each other – the foundation that makes an extraordinary performance possible. They know and believe their fellow improv-ers “have their back” and therefore take action from a place of confidence and faith.

See any links to the world of professional services? I’d say there are a few.

Has anyone out there used improv comedy to sharpen your consulting skills?

P.S. if you’re looking for a 4.5-minute break in your workday, watch our clients perform improv comedy with us: http://www.bossanovaconsulting.com/services/improv.php#Video

High Impact Client Presentations – Tip #5 of 5

October 30, 2007 in Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Today’s blog offers the fifth of five tips to help you avoid the all-too-common trap of speaking more than listening when you’re giving a client presentation. Use these tips any time you are trying to influence a group of people — regardless of your role, your audience, or your time boundaries.

Tip # 1: (Within the first 2 minutes) Get their voices in the room. Click here to read more.

Tip #2: (Within the first 5 minutes) Find out what they want to hear from you. Click here to read more.

Tip #3: (At the 6-minute mark) Don’t be afraid to throw out what you had planned based on what they tell you they want. Click here to read more.

Tip #4: (5 minutes before closing) See how well you met their expectations. Click here to read more.

Tip #5: (1 minute before closing) Know where they stand when you leave. Use a One Word Check-out. Ask, “How are you as you leave the room?” You’ll know immediately what impact you had and what your next steps are. This is often a really uplifting experience for everyone involved – including you! It’s amazing how quickly a room can go from “pooped” to “psyched,” especially when you’ve followed Tips 1 through 4. And if the reverse has happened, well, bummer. But wouldn’t you rather know – and know immediately – so you can deal with it … and adjust your approach for the next time?

Bottom line: Being influential comes as a result of listening first, not talking. This is true whether you’re a consultant outside an organization or a leader within one, speaking in a formal setting or gathered casually around a conference room table, delivering a presentation lasting 30 minutes or 3 days. Use all five tips for high impact client presentations.

These tips were originally presented in BossaNova’s TwentyFourSeven newsletter. Click here to see it and find other articles of interest.

High Impact Client Presentations – Tip #4 of 5

October 25, 2007 in Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Today’s blog offers the fourth of five tips to help you avoid the all-too-common trap of speaking more than listening when you’re giving a client presentation. Use these tips any time you are trying to influence a group of people — regardless of your role, your audience, or your time boundaries.

Tip #1: (Within the first 2 minutes) Get their voices in the room. Click here to read more.

Tip #2: (Within the first 5 minutes) Find out what they want to hear from you. Click here to read more.

Tip #3: (At the 6-minute mark) Don’t be afraid to throw out what you had planned based on what they tell you they want. Click here to read more.

Tip #4: (5 minutes before closing) See how well you met their expectations. If the venue allows it, ask everyone to share to what extent their interests were addressed. If this kind of one-to-one exchange just isn’t feasible, then summarize what you covered and how you attempted to address what they wanted to accomplish. Refer back to the list you made as part of Tip #2. Ask for a show of hands to indicate how successful you were.

Next up: Tip #5 of 5.

High Impact Client Presentations – Tip #3 of 5

October 23, 2007 in Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Today’s blog offers the third of five tips to help you avoid the all-too-common trap of speaking more than listening when you’re giving a client presentation. Use these tips any time you are trying to influence a group of people — regardless of your role, your audience, or your time boundaries.

Tip # 1: (Within the first 2 minutes) Get their voices in the room. Click here to read more.

Tip #2: (Within the first 5 minutes) Find out what they want to hear from you. Click here to read more.

Tip #3: (At the 6-minute mark) Don’t be afraid to throw out what you had planned based on what they tell you they want. This is the hallmark act of someone who really knows their stuff – and knows how to connect with people. Trade in a “perfect” pitch for one that’s perfectly in tune with your audience. It doesn’t matter if you stumble and fumble a bit in the process. Let your audience know they are so important to you that you’re willing to forego your put-together image to give them what they want.

Next up: Tip #4 of 5.

High Impact Client Presentations – Tip #2 of 5

October 18, 2007 in Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Today’s blog offers the second of five tips to help you avoid the all-too-common trap of speaking more than listening when you’re giving a client presentation. Use these tips any time you are trying to influence a group of people — regardless of your role, your audience, or your time boundaries.

Tip # 1: (Within the first 2 minutes) Get their voices in the room. Click here to read more.

Tip #2: (Within the first 5 minutes) Find out what they want to hear from you. How else do you know how to best use their valuable time – and yours? Once again, a simple question will do. One I use often is, “What would have to happen in the next __ minutes/days for you to walk away saying, ‘Wow, this was really valuable’?” If you’re speaking to a room of 10 people, you can afford to solicit an answer from everyone. If you’re speaking to a room of 50, take a random sample. There is always a quick and effective way to get the information you need to tailor your pitch for maximum impact.

BONUS: Record what you hear on easel chart paper or some other medium that can be seen by the whole group. This is another way to help people feel heard. Plus you’ll want to refer back to this list later.

Next up: Tip #3 of 5.

High Impact Client Presentations – Tip #1 of 5

October 16, 2007 in Food for Thought, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

Not too long ago I got to watch another consulting team give a sales pitch to my clients. Sadly, the consulting team missed a major opportunity to build rapport with their prospects and get into their world. Why? Because all they did was talk. Today’s blog offers the first of five tips to help you avoid the all-too-common trap of speaking more than listening when you’re giving a client presentation. Use these tips any time you are trying to influence a group of people — regardless of your role, your audience, or your time boundaries.

Tip # 1: (Within the first 2 minutes) Get their voices in the room. One of my favorite techniques is what I call a One Word Check-in. Simply ask, “If you had to describe how you are at this moment in just one word, what word would you choose?” (Notice I do not ask how they are “feeling” – a charged word for some people.) Your audience’s answers will give you an immediate sense of how they are doing, and how ready they are to engage with you. As a bonus, they’ll be that much more inclined to engage because you took a moment to inquire about them early on.

What do you do with what you hear? First and foremost, don’t even think about taking their answers personally. I once surveyed a group of 40 people and the majority shared words like “exhausted,” “tired,” “spent.” This had absolutely nothing to do with me. But was I glad I collected the data. Simply asking about – and acknowledging – their collective state immediately boosted the energy in the room. Plus I was able to tailor my presentation to adapt to the group mood. Conversely, if the vibe in the room is upbeat, ready, energized, you can get down to business that much faster and feel confidently you aren’t leaving people behind.

BONUS: Repeat each word you hear before you move onto the next person. This requires all of one extra second per person and you get two important things in return: (1) You help everyone hear how the room is doing (in a large room, sometimes you’re the only one with the benefit of a microphone or a booming presenter’s voice), and (2) You give each and every person the experience of being heard – one of the greatest gifts you can give another human being. All within the first 2 minutes of your pitch!

Next up: Tip #2 of 5.

The ROI of Business Friendships

October 11, 2007 in Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

We were recently featured on Karen Salmansohn’s SIRIUS radio show, BE HAPPY DAMMIT (LIME Channel 114). Karen publishes a “Be Happy Dammit Tips” Newsletter. Her April 27 issue quotes some fascinating statistics about the value of business friendships. For example:

- People with a best friend at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their work.

- Close friendships at work boost employee satisfaction by nearly 50%.

- People with at least three close friends at work are 46% more likely to be extremely satisfied their job – and 88% more likely to be satisfied with their lives.

- Employees who are good friends with their bosses are more than twice as likely to be happy with their work.

Friendship ImageThe relevance of friendship is not new to the world of professional services. David Maister writes about friendship in his article titled Young Professionals: Cultivate the Habits of Friendship . He asserts, “The way most clients choose among professionals is essentially identical to the way people choose their friends. At the point of selecting a professional to work with, clients go with providers who can:

(a) make them feel at ease; (b) make them feel comfortable sharing their fears and concerns; (c) can be trusted to look after them as well as their transaction and (d) are dependably on their side.”

It seems logical to infer that clients who view you, their business advisor, as a friend are at least doubly more likely to be engaged in the work you do and be satisfied with the results you produce.

Take stock: how many clients can you call “friend”?

Fear-Based Selling Alive and Well in Indonesia … and Right Here at Home

October 9, 2007 in Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

A recent travel experience in Bali, where persistent street vendors showed me what fear-based selling looks and feels like, helped me see the world from our clients’ perspective. Here’s a travelogue excerpt to tee this up:

“TRANSPORT? GOOD PRICE! MAYBE TOMORROW?”

Like the dogs in Ubud, there was one really big down side to tourist beach life: the very persistent vendors. The Balinese could use a lesson from Charlie Green on the value of trading in the hard sell for a more subtle approach. Reallllly got on my nerves after not too long. Very different from anything I’ve experienced in Thailand or Laos. A whole ‘nother level of persistence.

Walking down either the vendor-lined main street or beach walkway (pretty much the only way to get anywhere) routinely went something like this:

Vendor (with big smile): “Hello, how are you?”

Me (smile): “Fine, thank you.”

Vendor (with big smile): “You need transport?”

Me (smile): “No, thank you.”

Vendor (with big smile): “I make good price!”

Me (smile): “No, thank you.”

Vendor (with big smile): “Maybe tomorrow?”

Me (smile): “Won’t be here tomorrow.”

Vendor (with big smile): “You need ride to airport?”

Me (smile starting to fade): “No, thank you.”

Vendor (with big smile): “I make good price!!”

Seems harmless enough, but imagine walking another three feet to the next vendor (there are literally hundreds of them, side by side) … and repeating the exchange all over again. Exhausting. Truly. The resort I initially turned my nose up at became a safe haven after one pass. I actually began to dread going out!

What I later realized after talking to one driver (I succumbed) is that it’s all fear-driven. August is the height of tourist season and the resorts aren’t as populated as usual. Which means they’re clamoring for their survival and the shtick is an act of desperation.

Doesn’t make it any less irritating, but does cast a different light on it.

While I suspect we are all far too “professional” to ever show up like my Balinese vendor friends, I’m going to assert that we have our own subtle ways of being ineffective with our clients when we perceive our survival (emotional, psychological) is at stake. Think back to the last time you could taste a high-stakes deal but were afraid you might not close it.

My own personal brand of fear-based selling is a cat of a different stripe; when I’m confronting my own survival issues, I err on the side of being tentative with/withdrawn from clients. This looks like me not following up regularly, following up late, not following up at all, or following up with worry about being an imposition in the background. None of which serves my clients, as they end up feeling one or more of the following ways: confused, unsupported, irritated, anxious.

The questions for today are: What does your own personal brand of fear-based selling look like? And what’s the impact on your clients?

E-Mail Reply to All: ‘Leave Me Alone’

October 4, 2007 in Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

So goes the headline of an article on the front page of The Washington Post on May 25, 2007. Across the country, business professionals are facing an ever-increasing backlog of emails and throwing up their hands in frustration and overwhelm. The article spotlights Fred Wilson, a venture capitalist, who recently sent a broadcast email to his entire address book saying, “I am so far behind on email that I am declaring bankruptcy … I am starting over.” A December 2006 article in BusinessWeek, hailing a company that has officially declared Friday as a day of rest from email, seems to indicate a trend.

I’ve got my own love/hate relationship with email. As of the date of this writing, I have steadfastly refused to enable my fancy mobile phone to send and receive email messages (although I will confess that my resolve is weakening by the day). And I seem to be perpetually challenged to lead or facilitate client meetings where participants are constantly distracted by their “Crackberrys” (or actively managing their distraction because of the meeting ground rules that we’ve set). Email mania appears to be especially pervasive inside the large consulting firms who are BossaNova’s clients, where the addiction begs the creation of a 12-Step Program.

Irritation (and my own addiction) aside, I’m fascinated by the email phenomenon as it relates to building trust with clients. It seems to me there are pros and cons of email, as with anything. Using the components of The Trust Equation* as a guide, here’s my take:

CREDIBILITY: On the upside, email makes it easy to share information with clients that demonstrates your knowledge (a white paper can be delivered in the blink of an eye). On the downside, the “presence” dimension of credibility (how you convey what you know) is tough to master over email.

RELIABILITY: On the upside, email makes it easy to schedule (and change) appointments, send messages, and to generally be “in touch.” On the downside, email creates an emotional distance that makes it way too easy to change commitments (kind of like cutting someone off on the highway is easier when you assume he/she is a stranger).

INTIMACY: On the upside, email provides yet another medium for communicating about sensitive topics – some clients are more comfortable sharing thru the written word than through dialogue. On the downside, private information can be too easily shared with others by accident, creating the potential for huge breaches in confidentiality.

SELF-ORIENTATION: On the upside, email makes it easy to show you care – for example, by passing along a link to an article or other helpful resource. On the downside, email is a “cooler” communication medium than phone or face-to-face and leaves lots of room for misinterpretation.

What say you? Is email predominantly a client trust-builder or a client trust-breaker?

*The Trust Equation and other profound insights on building trust with clients can be found in The Trusted Advisor by David Maister, Charlie Green, and Rob Galford. For more information about our partnership with Charlie Green of Trusted Advisor Associates, click here: http://www.bossanovaconsulting.com/about/partners.php

“Early and Ugly” – an Oldie but Goodie

October 2, 2007 in Consulting on the Edge, Tips of the Trade by Andrea | No comments

This appeared in BossaNova’s 2006 summer newsletter, and it bears repeating.

“Early and ugly” is what a prized client said he wanted from his consulting firm. “Our very senior client was telling us he didn’t want to wait weeks or months for a polished deliverable; he wanted to be part of the action every step of the way,” reports Wayne Simmons, managing partner of ICOR Partners , a strategic management consulting firm servicing the public sector. “We were happy to hear it because that’s exactly how we like to work,” he added.

What a great reminder that not only is it OK to be “messy” with our clients, it’s often what they prefer. The Recovering Perfectionist in me needs this reminder repeatedly.

How messy do you dare to be?

A Country Music Star as a Trusted Advisor?

September 25, 2007 in Consulting on the Edge, Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

I saw Vince Gill in concert recently. First time. I was pretty sure I’d enjoy the music, but I had no idea I’d walk away having learned something from this country music celebrity about being a Trusted Advisor.

The concert was magical. Sure, the music was good (if you like country and I will confess I do). Vince is talented, as is his entourage. But he created something with his band and his audience that turned a good concert into an extraordinary experience of community and connectedness. How? By how he was being: humble, self-deprecating, intimate, vulnerable, and totally transparent.

There were several bands listed on the playbill that night, presumably warm-ups for the Big Guy. At curtain time, a lone man appeared on stage, dressed in blue jeans and a T-shirt, and simply started playing guitar and singing. I kept looking at the program, trying to figure out who he was. I also wondered why this guy was playing a song I recognized as Vince’s when the star himself would be on stage in an hour or so. Turned out it was Vince. All by his lonesome. He appeared with no fanfare, no glitz – just showed up and started doing what he does best.

At one point he traded his guitar (for which he is known) for a fiddle. I don’t remember the song as much as I remember what he said as soon as it ended: “Boy, am I glad that’s over!” Everyone laughed, and he shared with us how he is a novice with the fiddle and always nervous about playing it on stage – especially in the company of one of his band-members who is very accomplished with the instrument. Plus he told us that he hates how, due to some recent weight gain, it gives him a triple-chin.
Later, he introduced a song he wrote after his father’s death with a story about his father. He knows how to weave a good story, so that made a difference. But what really drew us in was the authentic and loving way he shared about the trials and tribulations of their relationship. We could all relate. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house at the end of the song.

I will remember this concert for years to come. Why? Because this country music expert created something magical for me and several thousand of my closest friends because of how he was being. And you know what? You and I and every other expert in the corporate world can have the same kind of impact.

Forget about your decades of experience and advanced degrees – just for a moment. Put aside your To Do list. What possibilities are you going to create for your clients today out of how you are being?

To Hug or Not to Hug, That is the Question

September 22, 2007 in Consulting on the Edge, Food for Thought by Andrea | No comments

I’ve had several awkward moments greeting several different clients in the past few months, where the unspoken question for both of us has been, “To hug or not to hug?” The question seems to arise with clients who fall in two categories:

1 – Business friends – these are clients with whom I don’t necessarily socialize outside of work, but with whom I have established a relationship that’s far more than strictly business — a relationship marked by candor, warmth, genuine caring, and the easy exchange of personal as well as business information.

2 – Personal friends who have become clients – these are clients with whom I had a personal relationship long before we did any work together.

The dilemma arises when a handshake seems completely inauthentic because it’s too formal and distant, and yet a hug seems out of place in a business setting. So what usually results is a really awkward, jerky-movement thing, like two chickens in a barnyard – one of us sticks out our hand while the other moves in for a light embrace, then we both pull back and switch, trying to match the others’ first move.

The Trusted Advisor teaches us to seek intimacy — not fear it – through emotional connectedness with clients; to dare to show clients that we care about them and that we see them more as human beings than walking, talking revenue streams. And yet the question, “To hug or not to hug?” raises all kinds of ancillary questions. Such as:

-What if my client doesn’t like to hug anyone, let alone his or her consultant?

-Should the rules be different depending on whether my client is a man or a woman? The same gender or the opposite gender?

-What if someone else who is “outside” the relationship is there to witness (or be left out of) the hug?

-What is the equivalent dilemma in a country with different cultural norms, where hugging might be completely off the table but kissing might not?

-How much is too much? Where do we draw the line?

Your thoughts?

Why Consultants Speak Like Idiots

September 20, 2007 in Consulting on the Edge by Andrea | No comments

I have always been simultaneously amused and utterly appalled by consultant-speak, particularly when I hear it coming out of my own mouth. You know the buzz words. They’re everywhere, buried inside complex sentences like snakes nestled in the underbrush:

- “The key to success for your organization is to discern how to leverage your assets for maximum return.” (Nowhere in Merriam-Webster is “leverage” a verb).
- “We’re experts at operationalizing your business strategy.” (“Operationalize” is simply not in the dictionary).
- “Let’s utilize existing frameworks wherever we can.” (OK, this one’s in the dictionary, but it’s an awfully big word for “use,” dontcha think?)

Even more horrifying, we consultants don’t just write like this, we actually talk like this! It’s humorous at best, trust-damaging at worst. Imagine being a client and having to decipher all this lingo. Imagine being a client, sitting through the 100th presentation given by the third consulting firm to be hired in the last three years, and thinking quietly to yourself, “I thought these guys were going to be different.”

One way we can stand apart – while simultaneously creating real human-to-human connection – is to simplify our language. You know, say it in English.

For an insightful and humorous take on this subject, check out Why Business People Speak Like Idiots: A Bullfighter’s Guide written by Brian Fugere, Chelsea Hardaway, and Jon Warshawsky – notably, three consultants. Here’s an excerpt from the book:

“Jargon, wordiness, and evasiveness are the active ingredients of modern business-speak, and they make up the Obscurity Trap. This trap is particularly pervasive, and its perpetrators are evil people who want to destroy civilization as we know it. (Well, okay, not really, but it felt good to get that out.) We call this a trap because the people who spew jargon and all of that evasiveness really aren’t evil at all.

They’re us.”

Ouch.

Thanks to a strong recommendation for the book from BossaNova’s marketing consulting firm, TurningPointe Marketing , I’ve just ordered a copy.

This week’s challenge: Listen to yourself. What do you hear? What are you really trying to say?